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Sharing Her Wealth

26 May

Dragon Dollars: tokens that praise students for being ready, respectful and responsible. Students are awarded them from any teacher during the school day for doing something that falls in line with those three school character traits.

Did you help another student pick up some papers she dropped? Dragon Dollar. Did you turn your complete homework project in on time? Dragon Dollar. Were you following the rules in the hallway? Dragon Dollar.

Each week, the school would offer a store where students could cash in their well-earned paper Dragons for passes to skip a homework assignment, wear sunglasses, get an ice cream treat or bring a critter (stuffed animal) to school. Students could also save up for special events. Nate used some for ice cream and then 40 to attend his principal’s birthday bash. He was so excited for that. Then, there was Nia. She saved hers – wanting to make sure she’d have enough for the big celebration and raffle at the end of the year.

Nia earned more than 100 dollars over her Third Grade days. She was able to buy the $50 ticket to the Luau and a $50 ticket for the raffle. She was so proud and happy to be one of the few in her class who could afford to buy both.

When the day came, she made her purchases and then saw that one of her classmates was very sad when he learned he didn’t have enough for the luau or raffle. She knew what she had leftover wasn’t going to give him enough for those but, instead of spending her surplus on some extra swag for herself, she gave them to her friend. She says she doesn’t know what he “bought” with them, only that he was happy and thankful.

I was moved by what she did but I wanted to know more. Would she be so giving to someone who wasn’t her friend? Why didn’t the boy have enough Dragons? Did he not follow the rules like she did?

She told me she wouldn’t want to give them to someone who was mean to her. I told her I can understand that but it’s best to always be kind to everyone. She didn’t love this idea because she was thinking about one girl in particular who is mean to her and didn’t want to reward her for that. I can understand that and part of me agrees with her, but I want to teach her to be giving without judgement or preference – something many adults, even myself, find difficult at times.

She explained that the boy behaved, he just always spent his dollars each week, never saving them. This kind of ties in with the giving without judging view. A lot of people feel they shouldn’t give their dollars to someone who isn’t as careful with theirs. She didn’t look at it that way. She saw a friend who was sad and wanted to help.

I want her to always have the giving heart she has, but I also don’t want her to be a pushover. Difficult to teach and live out. I am so proud of her though – for saving her well-deserved dollars and for sharing without someone prompting her. That’s a great start.

To Remember

16 May

So many times, I just file away certificates or awards that the kids get. I’ve seen ideas on pinterest about cool ways to display kids’ art so that it doesn’t stay hidden, piled in boxes in closets for years. I’ve framed a few of my favorites and always struggle with what to toss and what to preserve. The words on this certificate made it easy for me though. Cherish.

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I don’t know if Nia will always feel or think as she does now about God and/or religion and that’s ok. I still don’t always know if what I’m feeling or the religion I choose to participate in is “right.” I try to be ever-learning, open-minded and respectful to the thoughts and beliefs of others and that’s what I hope for Nia. To have someone write this about our 9-year-old is something to remember though and gives me hope that she will always be a thoughtful student to others.

Dear Sister Note about the Play that Wasn’t

27 Mar

The play was for Literacy Day. Nate’s class had been learning songs about vowel sounds, rhyming words and speckle frogs for weeks. He sang in the shower and at the breakfast table to Nia, rehearsing – complete with finger snaps and an air guitar. He excitedly asked if we could watch him sing. The night before the big day finally arrived. He fell asleep singing, knowing I was going to be in the audience to see him shine with the other Kindergartens. Then, hours later, he woke up with a terrible coughing fit.

Sadly, he would miss his play – too tired from a rough night and too sick to sing on stage. He sang for me at the doctor’s office (white-wall video at the bottom of this post) and wrote Nia a note:

Signed: Sweet, Sicky Boy

Translated: “Nia, sorry I cannot come to school today because I am sick. I can do another play next year. Don’t worry, Nia. I have a bad cough. One thing why I can’t come. Two, I have a cold.”

He later added, “I hope I don’t have it anymore and I wish you don’t have it like me.”

Sweet, sicky boy. I’m glad you are feeling better now.

Today’s Health Lesson Brought to You by Subway

1 Mar
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Nia's Note from her Heart

Such treasures can be found in a child’s classwork. This week, Nia’s pile of graded math and spelling tests contained a note to her 30-year-old self. It was a pink heart, decorated with her hand-drawn hearts, and filled with thoughts that range from “aw” to “ha!” and then back to “aw” again.

Because I couldn’t capture all of her words in the picture above, here is what she wrote:

Dear 30-year-old Nia,

You need to take care of me! You can take care of me by getting enough sleep at night. You could also take care of me by eating at Subway (if you go to eat out) and pick out baked chips. You could exercise and go to races and smile for other people and cheer for them as they go by.

Love,

Nia’s Heart

I love so much about this. The Subway commercial is hilarious but her thought that cheering on people in races would be good for her heart is so beautiful. Eight-year-old Nia really knows what makes a sweet heart. I hope her 30-year-old self hangs on to it and keeps it safe.

Too Sick for School?

26 Jan

I know who it is as soon as I see the phone number pop up on my phone. I feel like I see it once a week.

The school nurse.

She is wonderful. Truly. I want to bring her gifts with heart-shaped cards and make her sweet treats to show my appreciation for her. I’ve never met her in person but I feel like my family is cared about by an incredibly patient and kind soul. I think it’s one of the many reasons the kids always want to see her for the smallest boo-boo and I don’t blame them. She gives them comfort, care, a bandage or ice and then she calls me, which means they get to talk on the phone – at school – to mommy.

Of course, they also go to her for legitimate reasons. When I get the call that they don’t feel well, Andrew or I will leave work and scoop them up for TLC. Today though, her number appeared and I ended up asking the nurse if she thought it would be ok if Nia stayed. She said yes because Nia didn’t have a fever. Despite her guidance, I felt like I needed the nurse because I felt terrible.

I know Nia wasn’t harming herself or others by being there. She was probably just uncomfortable. She had a cough and said she had a headache but was acting fine otherwise. When the nurse put Nia on the phone, I asked her if she could stick it out. She said yes but her voice was so sad.

I thought to myself, if I was still a stay-at-home mom, I would get her in a second. Pull her out of school and cuddle with her while watching her favorite laugh-track shows. Then I thought, that could be a bad thing because I would always run to rescue them. Even if I didn’t really need to. Even if they should (are well enough to) stick it out.

I am thankful for the nurse to advise me. I also use resources like this and this when I’m not so sure about whether they should be in school. Yes, there is also the motherly instinct, but I think I would use that one too instinctively, for sure.

By the way, if I trusted my instincts today, they would’ve been wrong. When I picked Nia up at the end of the day, she was feeling a-ok. And I’m so glad for that.

*One other resource:
I also thought this has some good info about different kinds of coughs.

Grade A Citizen

1 Nov

I would fail if I was ever quizzed on that Late Show skit “Jaywalking.” I would fail if we were playing a trivia game and the win depended on my answer. I would fail if given a Third Grade test at age 33. Despite my admitted lack of government facts though, I’m happy to say my Third Grader would definitely pass for an outstanding citizen. Especially if it was based on her grade from her first test about the government and her written answer (that I will always cherish).

Nia earned a 97% on the test, missing a question about city council and another about which level of government can declare war. However, she knew what type of democracy was practiced in ancient Athens and which structure in Washington D.C., most shows the influence of Greek architecture as shown in the Parthenon. I also love that she now knows the name of the woman who fought to get women the right to vote. I can’t wait for her to become one of those educated voters. (And help refresh mom on some of the particulars.)



No Break for Behavior

22 Sep

I support cause and effect punishment. If you do something you know is wrong, especially after being warned and told not to do it again, there should be a punishment. Whether it’s being mean/hurtful to someone else, refusing to listen/respect adults or tearing the paint off of walls, there needs to be some corrective action taken and guidance provided about what is proper behavior and what is not.

What that punishment is has varied for us over the years. There were a lot of time-outs. There were a few spankings. Too many scoldings to count. Privileges and toys (once an entire doll house) taken away. Even soap (with immediate rinsing). The severity of the punishment depended on the no-no. We rarely had to punish twice for the same no-no. A lot of it was us figuring it out as we went. If it seemed like one thing wasn’t working after a while, we tried another. If it seemed the punishment really didn’t fit the behavior, we altered it.

This is why I’m so confused/surprised that I’m feeling that kids need a break now and then. We give plenty of warnings to allow them to settle down and make a better choice so our need for punishment has dropped significantly because they’ve learned they don’t want to be in trouble and that they want to do what’s right. I believe school does this too. I can count on one hand the number of times Nia had to “pull a stick” during her years in school. Nate is (knock on wood) actually doing great in school as well. He had to pull a stick once for keeping his feet on someone else’s square on the rug, which I’m sure boils down to a listening issue. He’s been doing so well at following all the school rules but then there are even more rules at after-school and I guess – well – he’s just a little tired at that point.

We got a note home from the after-school counselors saying Nate’s behavior is becoming a problem because he’s not listening. They were surprised because he is one of “their best kids.” I called because I wanted specifics so I would know how to help correct the concern. Basically, he’s not listening is what I was told.

  • He bounces in his seat on the bus. I told him not to bounce. Keep his bottom in the seat. It’s for his safety and all the kids because the bus driver doesn’t need distractions. He understood.
  • In the after-school room, he’s to listen to his counselors like he listens to his teacher. Be a helper, not a hurter.
  • If he brings another note home then we will take away privileges. No video games. No tv time.

Fine. But then I thought about it. So many rules. All day long. When I went to my grandparents after elementary school they never had a report for my mom. “Nikki wouldn’t listen. She sassed her grandpa.” I did that. Yes. But it was never relayed to my parents. After a day of rule-following so well at school, I was allowed a rest from the regime. To not listen here and there, without it being written up.

I guess it comes down to – I just don’t want to be nagging him all the time. Not good for any of us. A break is needed. I feel like it will be ok if I ease up on him for minor after-school issues. I think my working mommy with no family around guilt is blurring my behavior patrol glasses. I may need a time-out.

Book Fair Treasures

9 Sep

I love book fair time at the kids’ school. I am always so giddy when I know they are going to have fun treasures and beloved books to pull from their backpacks at the end of the day. Nia loves getting the cutsie erasers, bookmarkers and pretty pens as much as she loves choosing a new diary. (Her yearly book of choice.) This was Nate’s first year to shop for himself and I can’t say I’m surprised at his selection. I hope there is another in the spring – and that I can go too!

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Nia's Picks

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Nia's Fun Erasers

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Nate's Sweet Selection

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Insert Baseball Player Here

27 Aug

It’s his go-to when drawing a picture. The baseball player. An Atlanta Braves baseball player, that is. He appears each time Nate has a crayon or marker and a blank sheet of paper. He even makes sure to find a way to work the player into his school assignments.

This past week’s lesson was about the five senses. You can see how he depicted them here:

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He’s also been adding some hearts in his work. Our little lover adds them to all his cards he gives to people – even if he hasn’t met the person/child yet.

I love his sweet and passionate heart with all my senses.

Today, I learned …

22 Aug

It’s something we are trying with the kids. Tired of getting “I don’t remember” from Nate, Andrew and I now ask the kids to tell us three things they learned at school each day. If they can/do, they get 30 minutes of extra time enjoying whatever entertainment they want from the Wii to TV (after homework, of course). The lists below pretty much capture what each nightly review is like.

I asked Nate the three things he learned at school today:

  1. M is for Mater, McQueen and Mac. Oh yeah, and monkey.
  2. The precise way to hold a “parachute” for gym class, complete with showing me the way his fingers should look while holding this parachute. Also, that his gym teacher pretended to fall over when hit with a ball.
  3. To put your head down on the table when it’s time to be quiet.

I asked Nia:

  1.  Math taught them about different forms like standard, expanded and word.
  2. Science talked about sedimentary rocks, igneous rocks and volcanic rocks. (And she went on to explain a little about each one.)
  3. Reading was about a little boy who met an author and – according to Nia – it taught her to save a question about books just in case she ever meets the book’s author.

I learned:

  1. Nate doesn’t like to remember what he learned. I know this because of the frustration he gave me when I asked him if learned about a certain letter, word, number or color.
  2. Nia’s homework is getting really hard. Like, map/distance hard. Whoa.
  3. My brain hurt after my 45 minutes of homework and shared learnings – I can’t even imagine what it’s like for them. Did I tell you that the word ordinal was one of Nia’s spelling/vocabulary words. Glad she knew what it meant because I sure didn’t.
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