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Catch More Than We Drop

11 May

I’m tired of the negative taking away from the positive. It seems no matter how many wonderful moments that happen on any given day, the one or two awful ones are the ones that get all the energy and determine whether it’s labeled a good or bad day. From now on, I will try to remember:

We catch more baseballs than we drop or miss.
This is something I tell Nate all the time when he gets discouraged for not making a catch or has a bad play (usually after a series of good plays). We were throwing the baseball one day and his attitude changed when a few popped out of his glove after he thought he made the catch. “I keep missing them,” he slumped. After that, I started counting his catches. “How about that one, buddy? Didn’t miss that one,” I reinforced. I got up to 24 before he missed or dropped one. Why should that one cancel out all the others? No way. Unacceptable.

Running at a slower pace than yesterday is still running.
Man, do I get down when I don’t cover as much distance as I did in a previous 30-minute run. Ridiculous. I’m out there, right? I’m not giving up. I’m running and doing something I never thought I’d do. Pushing myself and succeeding just by doing. The comparing comes from my competitive side. It is a strong spirit to reason with but I try. I feel being competitive with myself is a good thing. It keeps me trying to improve and limits my inclination to settle. When I feel the negativity creeping in, I focus on turning it to a positive (better time), instead of just realizing that just doing it is a positive. That deserves praise too.

Millions of correctly typed keys are greater than a few wrong ones.
I go along each day and do my job the right way. I fulfill requests and meet needs, often giving more than the person asked for. I get a ton of thank you emails and messages of praise. But then, I make a mistake. That’s it. All the days of performing as I should are wiped clean. Now, I beat myself up and essentially start over in the “days without a mistake” tally. Why? If your job is not life or death, like so many are not, this should not be mood-changer. I need to remember all the things I carried out without a typo or missed step. I’m not saying I shouldn’t care about the mistake, I just shouldn’t let it dictate how I feel about my contributions.

There are so many more moments that make us label a good day a bad one. Flat tire. Frustration with another person/work. Burned grilled cheese. Whatever. One moment in the day of many determines how we score the points. When I was staying at home with the kids, I used to speak in percentages when Andrew would ask me how the day was. It helped me keep things in perspective. “80 percent was great. 18 percent was a struggle. Two percent was wine time so that doesn’t count.” Whatever gets us through, trying to remember that we catch more than we drop.

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Then Came Ten

27 Apr

Where did nine go? It was just here a sleep or two ago. The year was so fun, busy and marked with many changes for our (not-so) Baby Bean.

November 2012

November 2012

You sprouted like crazy. At the end of your Third Grade year, you were frustrated how the older kids would say you looked like you were a Kindergartener. Now, you may likely challenge some of those kids on inches. You are catching up to mine, now almost up to my shoulder. I had you sit on my lap the other day and almost cried. You will always “fit” there (love-wise) but it was then that I realized, you don’t fit there (size-wise) anymore.

Bean Sprout

Bean Sprout – April 2013

A braver Bean also started forming this year. “I’m auditioning to be Elfis in the class musical “Elfis,” you informed me. Out of your shy shell, you put on the costume, rocked the Wii guitar and sang in the microphone in front of three audiences of all ages. You memorized your lines and delivered them in character, getting giggles from the crowd. It was wonderful watching you on the stage and not even flinch when a child yelled out, “That’s a girl! My dad told me!” You even made one boy slap his own face when he discovered you were a girl hiding under that Elvis wig. What a moment.

In Character - December 2012

In Character – December 2012

The year of Nine had you caring about how you did in Gym Class for the first time ever. Each year, they offer medals for how many Phys.Ed. challenges students pass. They are handed out at the end of the year awards ceremony, along with the academic achievements. You always get “gold” for great grades and behavior but you’ve never earned a medal for athletics. You worked hard at this. You came home and practiced volleyball. You practiced stretching for several nights so you could improve your reach test. You succeeded. This athletic spirit also started showing when you ran in Mile Fun Run races. You pushed yourself and earned a place medal. Get it, girl!

Brother First | Sister Second

Brother First | Sister Second

Nine will also be known as the year when you began being ok with saying goodbye to your Barbies and dollhouses. I thought this would be a more gradual process but you made up your mind and started piling the dolls in a box. You gave eighty dolls to bring love to another child. It made room for a zebra-striped reading bean bag and a desk that will take you through high school or longer. You also want to paint over the princess crowns and castle lining your wall with a big purple stripe. However, while you are working your way to “older” things, you still find room in your heart for a few things from your “younger” years.

Annie and Nia

Annie and Nia – January 2013

Your interests also started expanding this past year. Your daddy introduced you and Nate to Star Wars and you couldn’t love it more. You watched all the movies and then watched all the movies again within a few weeks. You know more about the characters and events of the movies than I do and I’ve watched the movies more. The love of the movies has made you love all things Star Wars. Your Angry Birds Star Wars drawing is a great example of that.

Angry Birds Star Wars by Nia

Angry Birds Star Wars by Nia

You are such a considerate and caring person and it really showed this year. You have a helping heart and I’m amazed how you can easily play with children of all ages. Your patience and selflessness with younger children is beautiful. You also genuinely worry about others. You have a compassionate sense of right and wrong and try to protect people from being hurt. That includes yourself. When another student tried to hurt your feelings by calling out your “unibrow,” you calmly replied to her with, “I know I have one. So?” I know this is tough for you because you are a sensitive soul. I am so proud of you and often think of you to remind me how to react to things as well.

Protecting

Protector Bean

Helping Bean

Helping Bean

This year also meant taking boys more seriously. Well really, “boy” more seriously. You’ve had the same “boyfriend” since Second Grade but you never really blushed when you talked about him until this year. Now, things he says to you or gifts he gives you are very special. You keep them close and let us know about things that happened that day around him. All of this is comfortable for us because you are both sweet kids and you tell us EVERYTHING. Seriously, everything. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining because I’m glad you share things with us. I know there will be a time when you will stop sharing. Thank  you for letting us into your world and trusting us with your heart.

Gift from a Special Someone

Gift from a Special Someone

Your heart also has so much room in it for your little brother. You love him dearly – even when you are nah-nahing each other. He looks up to you too and is proud of you. When you told us about your possible gold medal in P.E., Nate was the first to praise, “Great job, Nia!” I hope you two will continue to be each other’s biggest fans. I can’t explain how happy it makes me to see you showing unconditional love for each other.

Little Brother | Big Sister

Little Brother | Big Sister

It’s difficult to capture the beauty of your heart, Bean, but I hope when you read this it gives you a glimpse of the amazing young lady you are. You are a treasure to everyone who knows you because of your attitude, kindness and hope to bring happiness to others. One example of that is how you love to make up jokes to make us laugh. “Why is my coat on the floor? It’s tired because I wore it out.”

Silly sweetheart, I love you so much. Happy birthday, 10-year-old.

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Caution: Bridge May Ice in Winter

21 Apr

So many life lessons exist for the kids within the miles and hours spent in a cocoon on wheels with other people.

  • We need fuel to run. This can be taught by the amount of gas fill-ups needed or snack food fixes you’ll require. Even though we know they aren’t good for us, we will most often invite things we don’t eat on any other normal day – chips, beef jerky, Combos, giant pickles in bags and Swedish Fish – to be an additional travel companions.
  • Sleep happens.
  • Interstate billboards offer you plenty of knowledge nuggets about religion, sex, eating habits and laws we should follow to make society better and safer.

21 is the legal drinking age.

Litter is bad.

Speed limit is slower than you’re driving.

Seat belts even keep a picture of the state of Georgia safe.

  • Stretching is important.
  • Too much time trapped with the same people causes fits of laughter, whining, tested nerves and lunacy. Such are the emotions many of us go through on a given day.
  • The road trip games we play can offer quite a few lessons. For example, we enjoy the alphabet game. We play ours by finding words on signs, billboards and cars that go in alphabetical order. You can’t say the same word as another person unless it’s for Q, X and Z. (The toughest to find.) First person to find the Z word, wins. This most recent road trip showed me how this game wad teaching the kids:
    • Patience – sometimes you need to wait for 20 minutes and few signs before finding your word.
    • Things don’t always come easy – daddy was driving too fast by signs, some signs were blocked by other vehicles, one person would say a word faster, etc.
    • Make the best of a situation – when you are the only one still looking for a G word, sing a silly song about the letter G and how it is hiding from you. (Nia had a lot of original tunes.)
  • Be ready for the speed bumps. Traffic, accidents, car issues, items accidentally left on the roof, wrong or misread directions, a threatening wasp unexpectedly trapped in the small space with you, a spilled drink, and/or extra pit stops will attempt to throw you off course and shatter your spirit. How you handle these situations is a glimpse at how you’d handle problems at school, work or relationships. Proceed with caution.

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That Happened

7 Feb

There’s a weekend in February I cherish. It’s filled with family, friends and frolic in a city that has my heart. It all started last year when we traveled to Savannah to participate in the Tybee Run Fest.

The complete fest is five races. A 5K on Friday and then a 10K, Half Marathon, 2.8 Beach Run and Mile Run on Saturday. If you run all five events, you run a marathon. Andrew did that last year – and although he declared he would not do that again – he did. He was really ready for it this year though. He’s been on his run streak for almost a year and trained for two marathons during that time. Last year, he finished the Tybee Run Fest races and crashed. This year, he finished the races and danced.

Ready for More Running

Ready for More Running

This 5K was special to me. When I ran it in 2012, it was the first 5K I ever trained for and I wanted my past year of running to show improvement. I’m happy to share that it not only meant a better time for me (from 34:45 to 28:36) and the first time I ever ran 3 miles in under 30 minutes, but it also meant personal records for Ginger, Lee and Andrew. Team Brew/Drink/Run doesn’t mess. (And of course we enjoyed some beer after the race.) It was awesome.

Tybee Run Fest 5K

Tybee Run 5K, Part II

I still can’t believe my average was a 9:14 per mile. That’s crazy right there. I even felt so strong when I finished. My finish line photo shows me smiling and pumped. It cracks me up. I’m such a poser.

Tybee Run Fest

Finish Line Smile

The kids also enjoyed some racing fun during the Fest. Team BDR Jr. (Camille, Ellanor, Nia and Nate) took on the mile run independently. They each earned a medal and were so proud of how they ran. Andrew and Nate got to finish together in that one because they were on pace with each other. I love that.

Team BDR, Jr.

Team BDR, Jr. Ready to Start

Tybee Run Fest 5K

Andrew & Nate Finish Fast Together

Daddy & Daughter Runners

Daddy & Daughter Runners

This visit also meant another unbelievable first for me as Andrew, Ginger and I ran high above the Savannah River and across one of the most intimidating bridges I’ve ever experienced. The Talmadge Bridge is a sight to behold. Andrew and I used to sit on River Street and marvel at it as giant barges stacked with 18-wheeler trailers passed underneath it. The bridge has been the backdrop of many of our family photos. One photo of it even hangs in a matte showcase in our house from a July 4th night of fireworks on the river. I never would’ve thought that I would RUN across the thing. It was incredible and I’m so glad Ginger suggested we use it for our Sunday run route.

I still can’t believe that all happened.

Talmadge Bridge

My View from the Top

Talmadge Bridge, Savannah

On Top of the Talmadge Bridge

Running Bridge Luvahs

Running Bridge Luvahs

Bridge Running Buddies

Bridge Running Buddies

 

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Then Sister Stepped In

16 Jan

Nate’s first lost tooth took its sweet time to open up a vacancy and when it finally did, it departed in a very special way. I tried to help it find the exit but Nate’s whimper made me chicken out. I then (jokingly) suggested to Nia, “Why don’t you try?” Little brother actually liked that idea and Nia didn’t hesitate. She took the paper towel I had and walked right up to that tooth … “There you go,” she casually stated. No big deal. I just pulled my brother’s tooth. He didn’t flinch or even make a noise. He trusted her completely.

All the other teeth need to take note. No point in hanging around too long. The big sis will get you.

image

Sister Snags Brother’s First Lost Tooth

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A New Star Wars Fan – and His Art

15 Jan

Nate experienced Star Wars for the first time over the Christmas and New Year school break and, of course, became captivated with the story and characters. He rooted for Anakin so much that he cried and cried at the end of Revenge of the Sith. I had to console him right up until he closed his eyes for sleep that night.

With that sorrow for Anakin, I’m wondering if I should be concerned Nate seems to favor the Dark Side characters. Based off his drawings, you can certainly tell where the Force is guiding him. The sweetness of his drawings makes it difficult to be too concerned though. Darth “Mole” doesn’t seem so bad through the 7-year-old eyes and ears of Nate.

"The Dark Side" as drawn by Nate, 7 years old

“The Dark Side” as drawn by Nate, 7 years old

Young Anakin as drawn by Nate

Young Anakin as drawn by Nate, 7 years old

Andrew loved the order they watched the movies too. He thought it was so cool how the kids were surprised at certain major plot points and their reactions made him feel like a kid again watching them for the first time. They watched the movies in this order: A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, The Phantom Menace,  Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith and then Return of the Jedi. It was a good plan.

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Innocent Expectations

1 Jan

High expectations have added drama to quite a few important dates for me. I’m guilty of letting my hopes get in the way of fun.

I wanted certain things to happen on certain special days and they didn’t. I wanted romance and wooing but instead ended up resentful and woeful or alone due to job responsibilities. I plan huge parties to mark annual celebrations, stressing over details like napkins and cheap party favors. I didn’t want to have to do the dishes on my birthday but I do. I love Jim Gaffigan’s stand-up about this. It always makes me stop and think about how my expectations explode what still could (and should) be a good time.

Now though, I have something sweeter to think about to change my perspective – how easy and lovely it is for children to enjoy themselves without weeks of planning, perfect decorations or an extravagant menu. All they need is a few minutes banging pots and pans.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

The kids showed such pure joy by getting to stay up until midnight and go outside to welcome 2013 with a cacophony of spoons on metal. They giggled and giggled. They thought it was wild fun and then it was over and they were off to bed with prayers and a warning of bedroom separation if sleep didn’t happen quickly and quietly. A few more laughs leaked out from behind the closed door and that was it. One of them didn’t even stay awake through the countdown and I know she won’t be disappointed about that – not like I would be now. “Can’t believe I slept through the New Year …”

Sleepy Celebrator

Sleepy Celebrator

I suppose it was that easy for many of us when we were little. Before the dreams of a trip to the Big Apple to watch the ball drop in person or the fairy tale idea we got from the movies where two people fall in love as the confetti falls and the Auld Lang Syne starts. This New Year I got a glimpse back and it was rejuvenating. I will carry it with me through the days of the new calendar – and for next year’s party planning.

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When You Look Back

31 Dec

Will you remember how you played hide-n-seek all over the house? Tucking yourself under blankets, squeezing in the pantry and linen closets, taking in the comforting detergent scent of the towels?

Will you remember how you counted to twenty while jumping on the blow-up mattresses that left only a small maze of floor space for walking?

How you counted so fast that your two cousins on the other team barely made it out of the room to hide?

Will you remember how you giggled at the dinner table over silly talk and words that made zero sense to adult ears but perfect punchlines for a child’s?

How you all loved black olives?

How you played “library” with the books in your moms’ childhood room? How when the piles of books you were “checking out” would get too tall it would slide over and some would drop off the shelf and bounce loudly down the stairs, hitting the door to the room? (The first few thuds had the adults worried and we’d investigate. After that, we knew it was an avid reader’s books.)

Cousin Library

Cousin Library

Will you remember how you laughed like you never did with others as you tried to destroy a candy-stuffed pinata?

How you played board games and negotiated the rules so all the ages at the game could play?

Will you remember how you spent thirty minutes chatting about all the world’s problems (“Nia says bedbugs are real.”) in Nate’s room when you were supposed to be sleeping?

And then, when morning came way too early, the only boy cousin in the house crazily “makes a sandwich” by throwing the twin air mattress on a full size air mattress of giggling and screaming girls. Sometimes that craziness turns to tears and scolding from the parents – but will you remember that?

Cousins. Our first friends. I can’t wait to remember the kids’ memories with them.

Cousins

Getting “ready” for bed,

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Little Boy, Full of Heart

27 Dec
Inside-the-Park Home Run Smile

Inside-the-Park Home Run Smile

The title states facts. Nate is a little boy. Inch for pound, his height matches his weight and he’s smaller than others his age. His age alone makes him little. Now seven years old, he is still too little to open some food/drink containers without adult help, walk alone in a store or comprehend many “older” things like death (although he did cry when Mickey died in Rocky III) and dates (sweetly calling it a “date” when Andrew and I smooch in the kitchen as we cross paths). For as little as he is though, his heart cannot be measured.

Pushing himself.

Pushing himself.

His pure passion and intensity shows in all he does – from coloring a picture as neatly and as focused as he can to making his bed with each blanket layered and plush animal placed in its spot (when he does make his bed anyway). He starts his race each morning as soon as he wakes up – dressed with shoes on and waiting for his breakfast before his big sister is even awake. He is often ready before the adults of the house too – especially on baseball practice/game mornings.

Posing

Sneakers – just in case he needs to run somewhere.

Nate tries so hard and doesn’t quit until he “wins” or is pleased with his work. He is unbelievably and naturally competitive, even when it comes to getting the most reward sticks in his class for good behavior. (He actually has a strategy for trying to achieve this – befriending the boy who has the most sticks and striving to behave like he does.)

His brain hides so much knowledge behind his constant motion and the baseball stats he keeps. That love of baseball actually helped his brain. He taught himself math by figuring out how much his beloved Braves would have to score to win. He taught himself reading by scanning the channel guide looking for baseball games and reviewing the scores at the bottom of the screen of the game he’s watching. His confidence on the field is displayed in the classroom as well. He’s given PowerPoint presentations in front of his class like it’s no big deal. He gets beyond frustrated when he doesn’t get his schoolwork just right. He keeps a schedule and routine for himself, walking in the door after school and conquering his homework within minutes of sitting at the table. Little disciplined man – especially when it’s something he really wants to do. He amazes, entertains, teaches and challenges me every day.

Presenting before his class.

Presenting before his class.

As he begins his seventh year of attempts, memories and growing up, I wonder what he has planned next. His heart is his own and what drives it comes from within him. The flame burns so fiercely that I worry about it fizzling out too soon – before he really needs its strength to get him through tough times. I want to protect his heart and try to nurture it and calm it as best as I can but it often feels like he’s on such an important mission. It’s such a treasure and an example to follow.

Catching the ball - because he must.

Catching the ball – because he must.

One speed: Intense

One speed: Intense

I ran 13.1 miles and …

5 Nov

I loved every second of the 2:31 it took me to finish it. Really. I loved it. Just look at my finish line picture. Hilarious proof.

PUMPED

If you’re wondering how in the world I could love such a thing – here’s why I had so much fun during the Savannah Rock’n’Roll Half Marathon:

  • It was in Savannah, Georgia. A beautiful place I called my home for six years. Loved ones live there. I had our babies there. I became an adult there. It’s even more than that though. It was the view on the run. The historic city offered my eyes gorgeous homes, buildings with impressive stonework and character, and trees with personality due to their branches’ unique curves and Spanish Moss clothing. Even better? It was a sun-shiny day.
  • The people were lovely. So many came out to cheer on the runners. Their clever signs along the route – “You think running a marathon is hard, try waiting for you to finish.” “Don’t poop yourself!” “Run, Total Stranger, Run!” “Worst Parade Ever!” “If running was easy it would be called your mom!” – dotted my breathing with giggles and served as entertaining billboards. How could I pass up the small children who held out their hands for a high-five? Neighbors eating their breakfasts and even enjoying mimosas on their front lawns as they tailgated and relaxed as thousands of people passed by their homes. (One house even offered free margaritas!) Sanitation workers lined up and waiting to roll out offered high-fives and words of encouragement. That almost brought the first hint of water to my eyes. It really happened when I passed two neighbors sitting comfortably on their front porches. One was an older woman who greeted us with a kind smile and wave. “Good morning! Good morning!” she sang in such perfect Savannah style. Beautiful.
  • Andrew and Ginger. They are such fantastic running buddies and coaches. It was comforting to go through all the same pre-race, race and post-race feelings together. I didn’t get to run with Ginger the whole time but we started together and finished together – something that made the race so perfect for me. We stood side-by-side in the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd in Corral 17 as we waited in anticipation for them to set us free. We had to say goodbye to Andrew because he was all the way up in front of the thousands in Corral 4 for his first marathon. (He did amazing and I’m so proud of him for accomplishing it. When he sets his mind to something …) When it was our turn, we did our thing. I knew I wanted to keep my pace nice and easy so I held back from trying to stay with her pace. Twelve miles – and almost finished – later, I saw my friend. I kept looking for her pink skirt and her Brew/Drink/Run shirt and was so happy to see her. “My friend! My friend!” I shouted. We finished together – same time – same pace. We joke that we should’ve stopped at the finish line and said, “No, you go first. No, you.”

Finish Line Friends

The Marathoner and Me

Corral Crowds

  • I ran my race. I didn’t stop once. I didn’t walk. Not even to take off my long-sleeve shirt that was under my tank. “I undressed while running” should be a t-shirt. I just can’t believe how good I felt. Andrew said we were likely banking miles on the hills we run around home and he kept telling to “trust the plan.” All that training paid off. I felt incredible. I now wonder if I should’ve pushed myself more. I was afraid to get burned out. I wanted to enjoy it and I did. Everything from my music (thanks to Facebook friends who offered soundtrack suggestions) to my muscles – it all felt right. I have zero regrets on how I ran it but I think I will try a little harder now. From mile 8, I kept telling myself, “Don’t push it yet. Not yet.” Now that the fear of the unknown is over, all I feel is bliss. Thank you, I’ll have another.

When’s the next race?

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