I don’t Facebook like you anymore

19 Sep

I lost a Facebook friend this week and I can’t fathom why it bothers me like it does. The only reason I even realized my friend number shrunk is because I had an even number – 390. When 389 caught my eye I immediately started to wonder what I did wrong. Did I update too much? Did I offend update? Did I TMI update? Maybe I haven’t been liking any of his/her updates? I say his/her because I have no idea who decided to unfriend me. Some friend I am.

That’s one reason why I can’t understand why I’m so concerned. Why do I need to know what lead to the dumping? Why am I putting myself through this? I thought I was through the phase of wanting validation, acceptance and friendliness from others. Why am I voluntarily involved in something that makes me feel like I did in high school?

On top of that, what is up with us putting the extra level of etiquette and work on ourselves? Did I wish that person a happy birthday? Did I thank someone for wishing me one? Did I respond to that comment in a timely manner? Am I neglecting a friend? Oh my, I missed that terrible news because I have that person hidden! Now, I’m a total jerk. Ah!

Too. Much. Pressure. Also, too much judging. How many people have unfriended/hidden someone because that so-called “friend” posted something annoying/insulting/political/stupid? Even news organizations and others claiming to be experts in the social media field have an opinion on improving your Facebook reputation. CNN wrote about “The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers” (there’s even a quiz for you to test yourself) and a Google search offers plenty of tips on how to be the better updater.

I guess, it’s really not that much different from buying a book or searching for tips on how to be a better in-person communicator or how to make people like you. That’s why I’m wondering if the whole Facebook world is really worth all the extra effort? Keeping friendships in the face-to-face world is hard enough. At least there I know which friends I’ve lost and what happened to cause the sad split. However, I’m pretty sure I’ve never had 389 face-to-face friends at one time. I wonder how much that number will change after I post this?

4 Responses to “I don’t Facebook like you anymore”

  1. Paul September 19, 2010 at 10:06 pm #

    Chances are someone simply deleted their account because they got hacked or something. The most likely scenario is that facebook screwed up. On some pages mine says 330 on others 329.

    You are completely and unconditionally lovable – their loss.

  2. Karen September 20, 2010 at 11:38 am #

    I have unfriended people – guilty. One was a former crush who friended me only to check out my family…after a while I felt weird letting him into my world, so I dumped him. He realized it and friended me again. I denied the request, telling him why I dumped him. It felt odd…but we have to protect our families.

    Now, I am sure you do not make anyone feel that way! In fact, I love reading about Nia and Nate and am sure your other FB friends feel that way. Like Paul said, maybe it was a group who ended their page, or someone who was a friend of a friend and was cutting their site down to just a few people. Whoever they are, it is their loss for sure!

    • nikkival September 20, 2010 at 1:58 pm #

      Thanks, Karen! I can totally understand unfriending people. I haven’t had to yet but I have hidden a few for streamlining purposes. I will still check in on them though. Sometimes, it’s impossible to keep up with everyone. Heck, I’ve even missed Andrew’s updates!

  3. betsy September 20, 2010 at 11:49 pm #

    You are too cute. At first, I thought you were being cheeky. Maybe you were. But you are too nice to ever worry about why someone may have unfriended you. Like Paul said, it was probably a computer generated error. 🙂

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