Sitcom Mom

What came first? The sitcom mom or the mom who has sitcom mom moments? The moments when we think, did I just do/say/find that? Who am I? I am such a mom. Whoa. That’s surreal. I’m a mom.

Some “who am I?” scenarios that come to mind include:

• Having in-depth discussions (arguments) about why you should go potty before and after bed – or really even just why you should go at all. Seriously, why does going potty have to be fight? After using all the logical reasoning about why they should take care of business, I usually just end up with the phrase I used to loathe as a child – “Because I said so!”
• Looking for a piece of gum in my purse and discovering a rock, a baseball, a DS game and Capri Sun straw wrappers but no gum. I’m sure it will soon turn into missing money…
• Worrying about whether the kids are eating enough nutritious food. I remember putting away McChicken sandwiches, a bag of Funyons and a package of Hostess Ho Hos like they were going to be stolen from me when I was growing up. Now, I will never willingly buy those products for my kids. (I have to draw the line at some junk food.)
• Caring about whether the kids act properly. I used to be such a wild woman. Now, I find myself saying over and over, “Be proper. Must be polite. That’s not proper.”
• I hate to admit it but I have said, “There are starving people in…” when they aren’t eating their food.
• Correcting the kids behavior (in other words, yelling at them with idle threats of punishment) whether I’m on the toilet, in the shower or standing in the hall in my bra and underwear with my hair wrapped in a towel after hearing them fight at the breakfast table. (Major ridiculousness there.)
• I’m a big fan of the “who can be quiet the longest” game. And rematches.
• I actually check behind their ears and remind them to wash them. (Whaaat?! When I first noticed myself doing that, I stopped and looked in the mirror. I am a mom. Whoa.)

2008