Disclaimer – This post is all about ME. ME. ME. I’m just giving you a warning in case you don’t want to read my blah-blahing about my body image. The next cutesy/crazy kids post should be coming soon!
For the first time in 5 years, the scale read a number less than 130! I weighed in at 129.8 on Saturday! Sure, I don’t weigh that right now but still! It’s taken me so long to even catch a glimpse at weighing anywhere near that number but for some reason (mental) I have mixed emotions about it all. While I’m shocked and excited, I am also, oddly, disgustingly worried.
I just don’t want to reach the point where I’m not satisfied with my weight. It makes me sick to think that I will still look at myself and point out all the things I think are wrong with me. I mean, I was 145 in April of this year and I remember thinking, “If I could just lose 10 pounds. I would be so happy. That’s all I need to feel good about myself – 10 pounds.” Now, roughly 15 POUNDS later and I find myself thinking, “If I could just lose 5 more pounds.”
!!!!!!!
It’s disturbing to me and it makes me feel like I’ll never really be content. I should be feeling awesome and just worrying about maintaining where I am – not losing more! Even if I did drop another 5, I know I won’t look the way I did when I was 125 before babies but I guess I’m kind of curious about what my 125 post-babies body will look like. But then what if I don’t like it? When will it stop?!?!
Are You Zhazha? 
Say what?