Tag Archives: dreams

Stress-mares

15 Nov

With the known disclaimer that I am not a licensed professional with years of education behind me and a Ph.D. or some respected title after my name, I am diagnosing myself with a chronic case of stress-mares.

These things started a few days ago and have returned nightly. Here’s a synopsis of each one I remember:

    • I was pregnant and had a another little girl. (I am NOT.) I immediately knew it wasn’t real because the baby in the dream had hair. (Both Baby Nia and Baby Nate were hair challenged.)
    • Suffered through alien sickness complete with special effects and gross out moments that I will never be able to completely erase from my memory. (I blame my yuck cold and NyQuil for this dream.)
    • Nia failed a test. I have zero clue why this would be stressing me out. She is a responsible and engaged top student and – why am I worried anyway? It’s not my test and as Andrew comforted me, “Well, it’s going to happen.” Cue second stress-mare.
    • My car wouldn’t start. Just thinking about that one freaks me out. The panic I felt as I kept trying to start it. No idea why. It’s not like I was trying to escape a murdering maniac or anything. Just couldn’t start my car.

I realize these aren’t typical scary dreams. For me though, they are concerns I’ve had at one point or another and now I can’t even shake them in my sleep.

Can’t wait to see what fear invades my subconscious tonight. Hopefully it’s not the one involving …

 

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Big Plans

18 Feb

I’ve reached a point where I’m finding myself comparing what I’ve accomplished in my life to what others have accomplished. It’s not a jealousy or an “I wish I did that” kind of thing. It’s more a – there’s so much I still want to do – thing. I’m also not saying I’m not proud or happy with all that I have attempted, failed at, conquered, laughed at, attempted again – I just have a small list of wants and it goes a little something like this:

  • I want to learn Italian. Andrew does too. I have one rule after we learn it though – we are never – never – allowed to argue in Italian. Man, I remember my Grandma and Grandpa’s Italian-only arguments. I never knew what they were saying but their complicated-sounding words were always laced with such fire – such anger. It scared me beyond belief. I want this language to only be used to communicate sweet nothings or compliments on a meal or excitement over sports or other such happiness.
  • Once we’re comfortable with our Italian and the kiddos are older, a trip to Italy will happen. We will visit all the areas our grandparents came from and all the romantic places I’ve read about in books or caught glimpses of in movies.
  • There will be a book. I can’t promise it will be an awesome book – or even a good book – but it will be written by me. Even if I have to pay to have it published, one of the many ideas I’ve started will eventually become something I can hold in my hands and say, “I wrote this book. Cool.”
  • We will take the kids to Disney World where they will lose their minds in Princess, Spiderman, Peter Pan and other animated character craziness.
  • I will sing Karaoke. In front of people. At least once.
  • I will learn how to dance a sexy dance like Salsa or Tango and I will not feel like a total doof and laugh the entire time. I will feel incredibly sexy, womanly and confident.
  • Andrew and I will live to our 50th wedding anniversary – plus some. I know, I know. I really can’t control this one. It could happen though … it could.

I know I have more wants but I think this is a good place to start. Will I be happy if none of these ever happen? Sure. (Well, except for the last one that is.) After all, these are all wants – not needs. A girl can dream, right?
 

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