Tag Archives: feelings

I Broke Her Heart

18 Feb

The other day I accidentally broke a little Snoopy/Charlie Brown frame that Nia had on her dresser.  As she held Snoopy’s decapitated head in one hand and the rest of his body and frame in the other, she told me through her tears, “Momma, this breaks my heart that you broke my Snoopy.”

As if I didn’t feel bad enough now I’m getting guilt-tripped out by a 3-year-old and then she (of course) tattled on me as soon as Andrew came home that night.  “Daddy, look what Momma did – she broke Snoopy.”

Later the next day I super-glued his head back on and even though she was so happy when I gave him back to her all doctored up, she still reminded me how I broke her heart. All I could tell her was that I was sorry and that I loved her with my whole heart.  I think that healed hers because she gave me a sweet smile and told me it was okay and thanked me for fixing him.  I don’t know if Snoopy will be that forgiving though…

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Feelings I Feel

7 Feb
Every day the kids make me experience so many different feelings – it’s amazing how I can go from insanely happy to insanely angry with the toss of a toy.

What Makes Me Happy: (here’s where I sound sappy)

  • Making them laugh
  • Teaching them something new
  • Cooking for them
  • When they eat what I cook for them
  • When they actually like what I cook for them and they say “mmmm”
  • If I can get through a day without the boy hitting his head on something hard (although his skull is like steal)
  • If I can get through a day without Nia having a meltdown (her latest one involved not getting to watch her nightly dose of Harold and the Purple Crayon before bedtime)
  • Nia being a loving big sister by giving Nate hugs and kisses and getting toys for him that he can’t reach
  • Being able to make them comfortable/safe/cared for – just the simplest of things like putting clean sheets on Nia’s bed – knowing she loved the way they smelled – something about that made me so happy to be a mom

What Makes Me Angry: (here’s where I sound psycho and mean)

  • Having to repeat myself over and over and over again – example – Nate’s taking a nap and I finally have some time to get stuff done – I choose to use the opportunity to take a shower – I tell Nia, “Momma’s going to take a shower” –  she replies, “And then you play with me?”  (please know I’ve already played with her and read quite a few books to her by this point) – I say “Of course” – well I’m not even out of the shower yet and she peaks her head in the bathroom and says, “Now you gonna play with me?”  This continues as I get dressed and dry my hair.  I know it doesn’t seem that bad but after repeating the obvious over and over again everyday – it just wears on me.
  • “Come Momma!”  I hear this ALL DAY LONG.  She’s constantly telling me to come and see something.  I feel awful for getting upset about it – I mean she just wants Momma to see all the stuff she’s doing (her latest is dressing Prince Eric up in Ariel’s clothing).  It’s just – I have to stop whatever it is I’m doing to “Come Momma!”  At least I’m burning calories I guess.
  • Trying to teach Nate not to do something – I mean how many times do I have to pick him up, take him away from the dangerous/yucky activity and try to distract him?  He thinks it’s funny – I think it’s making me lose my mind.  The latest thing he did was tip over the garbage can – now every time he’s in the kitchen I have to keep the can from crashing down on the floor.

There are so many feelings I feel – it’s hard to write about them all.  I’m glad to say I experience more happy ones than mad – but then again, these examples were just from one day!

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