Are You Zhazha?

One of our nieces is turning 13 in a week and like many youngens these days, she has to have clothes from a store called Hollister.

I had an idea that it was similar to Abercrombie and Fitch but never had the need/desire to check it out for myself.  Now I know why. Man, do I feel old.

I’ve never felt my age before.  I know there are things I’m not supposed to do now that I’m 30 and a mom.

• I’m not supposed to shop in the junior section at department stores.
• I’m not supposed to say things like “Miley Cyrus is cool” or “I totally love ‘High School Musical!'”
• I’m not supposed to want and purchase the hot pink cell phone.
• I cannot eat 10 piece Chicken McNuggets and the biggest Fry, never workout and still fit into my awesome size 6 GAP jeans.
• I’m not supposed to push a stroller in any Hollister store.

How the heck was I supposed to know the store barely had enough room for a normal sized girl to walk through let alone try to steer Nia around racks, throw rugs, teens and sofas.  When I finally made it up to the counter, a hip little thing tried to cut in front of me!  I’m so unwanted, I’m invisible!  I totally was all like, “Oh, no you didn’t!” and cut her off at the cash. But then it gets far more stressful for me.  I have to pick out a gift card.

Typically, gift cards are decorated pretty simply.  A solid color, the words, “A Gift for You!” written on it and some cutesy design.

Not at this store.  They were all covered with half-naked hot guys and gals.  Totally fine for anyone who is not the child I’m getting the gift card for.  I even asked the teen behind the counter, “Do you have one that’s ok for a little girl?”  She freakin’ hands me one of a shirtless man and a girl looking all seductive into the camera.  Again, fine for anyone who is not my niece!

My friend Julie was with me and she suggested drawing a shirt on the guy!  Could you even imagine how embarrassed my poor niece would be when she goes to pay with a gift card that her aunt censored?  How uncool is that?!