Season of the Kirby

3 Mar

How many times in your lifetime should you be visited by a Kirby salesperson?  Maybe two or three?  A lucky few may live their whole lives and never know what the experience is like.  Others, who like me are at home during the day, aren’t so fortunate.  Today was my second visit in 32 days!

I feel kind of bad about my reaction.  Poor girl.  She was just trying to make a buck but I’m just trying to enjoy/efficiently use the hour or so I have to myself during the day. The last thing I want to do is suffer through another Kirby demonstration.  Especially since I know I’m not going to spend the $1500 to buy one, I don’t feel like entertaining and I have a 90 pound dog who won’t stop barking in the other room.

I think what I’m really bothered about is how they get into your home in the first place.  They mumble their way through their introduction and hand you a free gift. This particular salesperson said she had this “free gift to welcome me to the neighborhood.”  That’s the first fib.  How long have we lived here?  Fourteen months.  I should be welcomed by now I think.  They know they can use that line because there are still new homes being built here so there’s a chance I do need “welcoming.”

Fib number two – They don’t tell you they are Kirby salespeople.  Here’s how it went down for me – The free gift is mine to keep but she just needs me to participate in a “short survey” about a “wonderful new product called the Sentria.” She asks, “You know about the Sentria right? You’ve never heard of it?  Oh then, let me just go get it to show you how great it is!”  I tell her no thanks – I really don’t have the time. (I had an appointment with the couch and this computer – I’m a busy girl you know!)  To that she yells back as she is running down the steps to retrieve the product I already detest, “It will only take a few minutes of your time.  Please.  It helps me earn college credits.”  Yes. I fell for that.  I can be such a pushover when it comes to helping other people.  I don’t want to be the reason the young lady doesn’t graduate from college!  How could I live with that on my conscience?

Then, I saw it. One of her fellow salespeople came running up the driveway holding the big box that slyly entered my home the last time.  I acted as though they were going to bring a toxic chemical into my house.

“Nah-uh!  Nope!  No thanks!  No Kirby for me!”

They reacted like, “What? But this is the KIRBY.  How can you turn away God’s chosen vacuum cleaner?!?!”

WHATEVER!  I gave them back the free gift and told them that I was sorry and that I just couldn’t go through it again.  I probably made it seem like the last salesman attacked me with it or something.  I don’t even care. All that matters is that I have my precious moments of peace and another ridiculous memory.  I feel really bad for the next Kirby salesperson that comes my way though!


6 Responses to “Season of the Kirby”

  1. Anna March 3, 2008 at 3:55 pm #

    Here's an idea: DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR!:)If I don't know the person knocking*, I don't answer. I don't care if they can hear the television or music or the baby or even see that I'm home.*Unless it's a kid. Then they're usually selling something yummy like cookies.

  2. Honey March 3, 2008 at 4:21 pm #

    Good girl, you stood strong. When your my age you learn don't answer the door, ever.( I will go to a window where they won't see me and peek) I always got the church people who I politely tell no thank you I'm Catholic Hoping that would scare them away, if that didn't work I would slowly closed the door. Good Bye. Got today off not sick just off. Love You

  3. Are You ZaZa? March 3, 2008 at 5:32 pm #

    I know I know! I always come close to not answering the door but then I think what if it is a friendly neighbor who I haven't met yet? I guess it's just that I'm so desperate for interaction that's genuine – not from people who are trying to sell me something. Maybe that's why I get so bothered by the whole thing too – I'm mad at myself for answering the door and striking out again!

  4. Are You ZaZa? March 3, 2008 at 5:33 pm #

    I even thought of you when I wrote this because of how you wouldn't answer the door! HAHAHA! I love you lady!

  5. ESTÚPIDO SAVANNAH March 4, 2008 at 9:39 am #

    Next time you should invite them in and just leave them sitting in the living room with the dog.Go do your stuff and see how long they will sit there before they realize you're not coming back.Or, have them help you pick up all the toys in the living room before they can do the demonstration then leave them sitting there while you go do your stuff.Or you could just shoot them. That's what I would do. I'm just saying.

  6. mom valles March 8, 2008 at 8:05 pm #

    I learned the hard way too! At one time we actually owned a Kirby, actually David was the soft touch there. We also had Mormons who came to our house for about a month because we actually spoke to them and fed them the first time they came! We're not as stupid any more! MOM

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