Tag Archives: annoying

Season of the Kirby

3 Mar

How many times in your lifetime should you be visited by a Kirby salesperson?  Maybe two or three?  A lucky few may live their whole lives and never know what the experience is like.  Others, who like me are at home during the day, aren’t so fortunate.  Today was my second visit in 32 days!

I feel kind of bad about my reaction.  Poor girl.  She was just trying to make a buck but I’m just trying to enjoy/efficiently use the hour or so I have to myself during the day. The last thing I want to do is suffer through another Kirby demonstration.  Especially since I know I’m not going to spend the $1500 to buy one, I don’t feel like entertaining and I have a 90 pound dog who won’t stop barking in the other room.

I think what I’m really bothered about is how they get into your home in the first place.  They mumble their way through their introduction and hand you a free gift. This particular salesperson said she had this “free gift to welcome me to the neighborhood.”  That’s the first fib.  How long have we lived here?  Fourteen months.  I should be welcomed by now I think.  They know they can use that line because there are still new homes being built here so there’s a chance I do need “welcoming.”

Fib number two – They don’t tell you they are Kirby salespeople.  Here’s how it went down for me – The free gift is mine to keep but she just needs me to participate in a “short survey” about a “wonderful new product called the Sentria.” She asks, “You know about the Sentria right? You’ve never heard of it?  Oh then, let me just go get it to show you how great it is!”  I tell her no thanks – I really don’t have the time. (I had an appointment with the couch and this computer – I’m a busy girl you know!)  To that she yells back as she is running down the steps to retrieve the product I already detest, “It will only take a few minutes of your time.  Please.  It helps me earn college credits.”  Yes. I fell for that.  I can be such a pushover when it comes to helping other people.  I don’t want to be the reason the young lady doesn’t graduate from college!  How could I live with that on my conscience?

Then, I saw it. One of her fellow salespeople came running up the driveway holding the big box that slyly entered my home the last time.  I acted as though they were going to bring a toxic chemical into my house.

“Nah-uh!  Nope!  No thanks!  No Kirby for me!”

They reacted like, “What? But this is the KIRBY.  How can you turn away God’s chosen vacuum cleaner?!?!”

WHATEVER!  I gave them back the free gift and told them that I was sorry and that I just couldn’t go through it again.  I probably made it seem like the last salesman attacked me with it or something.  I don’t even care. All that matters is that I have my precious moments of peace and another ridiculous memory.  I feel really bad for the next Kirby salesperson that comes my way though!


Old Lady Valles

7 May

It’s hard for me to admit but I am slowly turning into my Grandma.  She was that old lady in your neighborhood who never let kids go into her yard to get their kickball and she called the neighbors living next door the “foreigners” (even though she was from Italy too) because they made her mad once.

Ok, maybe I’m not as bad yet but I’m getting there.  Specifically when it comes to one of neighbor’s punk kids and all of the cars that come and go from the house at all hours with their bass systems blaring and their engines ridiculously loud.  I know I wouldn’t care if we didn’t have kids – but we do and I don’t want them to wake up in the middle of the night because some dudes who thought they were cool had to blare their bass and rev their engines when they drop off or pick up their buddy.

I know I need to relax – I mean I’m sure I did a ton more annoying things than that when I was growing up.  It’s just now that I’m Old Lady Valles – I have to act the part!

Random Frustration

23 Mar

Why can’t I just do the dishes without ending up with a soaked shirt?  It’s not like I try to dump water on myself.  Still, no matter how hard I try to stay dry, I end up drenched.  Is there some sort of dish-washing secret that could help me keep the water in the sink?  It just drives me nuts!

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