Then My Heart Sank Into My Stomach

18 Aug

“Can Nia come out and play?”

The group of three kids waited at our front door for the response. “Of course! Just a minute, she needs to get her shoes.”

Closed door. Scramble to get shoes. Flurry of excitement as Nia and Nate rush to the door to play outside by themselves with neighborhood kids for the first time ever.

I was excited. Was. As Nate’s yellow shirt got smaller and smaller walking toward the top of our street, I panicked.

“He’s just too little,” I cried to Andrew. “He’s too little to leave our street by himself with only other kids.”

“I think I agree,” Andrew soothed me. “Do you want me to go get him?”

I collapse in a teary mess on the steps, still in my work clothes. Still emotionally drained from the drive home. I nod. Still uncertain because I know he just wants to play with his sister and the kids. He just wants to be a big kid. But I just can’t let him yet. He’s too little.

My heart was in my stomach until I saw Andrew rounding the corner with Nate walking beside him.

Lighter heart. Nate didn’t seem to mind. After all, Andrew told him the kids could play in the backyard and he’d play baseball with him. Bribery to keep him closer to home. I’ll use it for as long as I can…

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Peeping Mom

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Tiny Yellow Shirt

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One Response to “Then My Heart Sank Into My Stomach”

  1. Ginger August 22, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

    And this is why I think parenting is so much better when done as a team! Sometimes you just need another adult who cares just as much as you do so you can make these decisions together. And by the way, I don’t know if I can ever let Camille go off by herself – what am I going to do when we get a knock like that on our door? Maybe when she’s in college. Maybe.

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