Some days I can’t even believe these things are coming out of my mouth. What’s even more sanity damaging is how many times I have to say them to our 16-month-old boy – plus it’s not like he even understands.
“Get out of the doggy’s water bowl!” (After he’s already put his hands in the water and rubbed it on his face – bleh.)
“Don’t stand on that box/basket/toy! Danger!” (Said while he’s usually wobbling on a super flimsy thing he felt the need to stand on.)
“No hitting mommy!” (Painfully said after I’ve been slapped on the cheek or the leg.)
“Please stop turning on the bath tub water faucet!” (I cannot even begin to describe how annoying this is! He turns the water on full force then puts his hand in it so the water goes everywhere or if I’m not fast enough he’ll toss our scale in tub, drenching it.)
“No eating the crayon/barbie head/dog bone!” (Self-explanatory.)
“No calling China on mommy’s cell phone!” (Prying the cell phone from his tiny fingers requires great strength and determination.)
“Give me that soy sauce!” (The thing he ALWAYS grabs and puts to his lips when I open the fridge door. I keep telling him to lay off the sauce but he doesn’t listen to that either.)
Are You Zhazha? 
Say what?