Facebook vs. Face-to-Face

8 Sep

I don’t think my friends “fake it” on Facebook and even if they do, how is that any different than what they do face-to-face?

My question comes after reading the mommy blog article, The New “Keeping Up with the Joneses”. If you don’t feel like reading it, here’s a snippet of my takeaway of the article:

Many people only post happy things on Facebook even when they have bad things to share as well. They don’t mention the fight they had with the hubs, the nightmare of a weekend trip they had, the terrible way they talked to their kids that day or the horrifying thing their child did at school. They only tell you about the smiles, love, hugs, kisses, presents and blessings. All of the life-is-swell updates often make others feel inferior.

I think the writer makes good points (and I agree with the sentiment) but I think the situation is not really a new thing and it’s not just like this because of social media.

How many of our friends tell us all the dirt that happens in their lives to our faces? There are plenty who will never share the negative experiences with another soul outside of their family. Whether they’re on their nightly walk with you, grabbing a coffee with you or Facebooking around the clock, they only shine a happy light on their lives. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

On the flip side, there are some friends who never have a positive thing to tell you or Facebook about. They seem to always be negative or surrounded by drama. If the ones who are always sunshine and happiness make us feel bad about ourselves, should the ones who are followed by a storm cloud make us feel better about ourselves?

What about the friends who over-share and T.M.I. us until we can never un-hear what we’ve heard? (Some wouldn’t want it any other way!) Those friends, like all of them, exist in our Facebook world and our face-to-face world. They just make me feel less entertaining. Man. I hate trying to keep up with the brave and funny ones.

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7 Responses to “Facebook vs. Face-to-Face”

  1. betsy September 8, 2010 at 10:59 pm #

    What, so you didn’t want to read my FB update about Anderson Cooper ripping the anti-mosque lady a new poophole?

  2. nikkival September 8, 2010 at 11:04 pm #

    Ha! So, would you be the TMI friend? I mean, you did just type the word “poophole” on my post’s page.

  3. betsy September 8, 2010 at 11:11 pm #

    I just adore the word poop. It’s so honest. So necessary. And so relevant to everyone’s interests. I can’t fathom why it’s forbidden. Soren also can’t fathom it, as he screams the word at the top of his lungs whenever I’m leaving a voicemail for someone I don’t know very well.

  4. Ginger September 9, 2010 at 12:03 am #

    For me, and especially when it comes to the hubby and the kiddo, I hesitate to write anything negative because once you put it in writing and share it in an open forum, you can’t take it back. You can’t take it back even if it ended up hurting your husband’s feelings, and you can’t take it back if it embarrasses your child when she’s older and feels exploited. And sometimes I don’t think struggles involving them are really mine to share.

    And face-to-face is different because it’s private. To me, sharing something face-to-face and sharing something via blog/facebook/twitter – they are entirely different with different rules. My two cents! Interesting topic.

    • nikkival September 9, 2010 at 12:16 am #

      So true! I also think that even if you didn’t want to share those things in person, it shouldn’t mean you’re trying to hide something or give the appearance of a happier life, like I think the article claims.

  5. Paul September 9, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    I think we all lack proper perspective due to our experience in the media.

    I always think about how to convey my thoughts in clever and only slightly offensive ways. I usually don’t hold back much but the delivery is always very deliberate.

    I think some people are “keeping up appearances” but Nicole is right on the money, they would do the same thing in the “real” world.

  6. Karen September 9, 2010 at 8:57 pm #

    I once blogged about something the hubs did (in a joking way) and it started a war with our families. Definitely a slippery slope and one you have to navigate with care. I also have friended people at work so I can never vent about my day as they read the posts and would tell others.

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