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The Measure of a Mom

6 Jun

Some moms:

  • Never yell at their children.
  • Never let the stress show.
  • Think their children are perfect.
  • Let their children get away with murder.
  • Have patience with their children.
  • Jump at the chance to build blocks for the millionth time in one day.
  • Feed their kids the recommended daily allowance of fruits, veggies, grains, etc.
  • Never let their children eat junk food or drink too much juice.
  • Work outside the home and still have enough time and energy to successfully balance home work.
  • Never say something they’ll regret to their children.
  • Always look put together.
  • Love their children and would do anything for them.

This mom:

  • Feels like I yell too much at my children.
  • Has stress written all over my face.
  • Would never want my children to be perfect.
  • Worries when they play rough with each other.
  • Steadily loses my patience over the course of a day.
  • Throws my head back in emotional exhaustion when asked to play anything for the millionth time in one day.
  • Is happy if my children just eat their food.
  • Lets them have a few of my chips when they catch me secretly snacking in the kitchen.
  • Doesn’t work outside the home and still finds it hard to be successful at home work.
  • Usually ends the day with regrets about something I said/did as a parent.
  • Wears shirts and jeans with holes in them and desperately needs a haircut.
  • Loves my children and would do anything for them.

Super Mom versus Good Enough Mom.  Despite all the differences, in the end, we are the same – moms who care.
 

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Miss Popularity

13 May

You know you don’t have a social life when your 5-year-old gets more phone calls and has more “play dates” than you do.

Just today two little girls called Nia on the phone and asked her to meet them to play.  How cute is that?  It’s so funny because sometimes I have to look at the calendar and schedule the play dates!  Today, I had to tell the one mom, “Oh sorry, Nia can’t play because she’s meeting another little girl to play.  How about tomorrow?”

I think it’s the coolest thing that other kids have a blast with Nia.  She is so fun and sweet and I can only hope she will form friendships as easily during kindergarten.

Now, if only I could make a few more friends…
 

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When you don’t get out much…

5 May
  • you forget your wallet at work the night of your romantic surprise date with your wife.  Andrew planned a trip to a play in Atlanta while my mom was here and it all turned out perfectly despite his driving without a license and my initial reaction to the surprise.  If I could go back in time, I would definitely not ask, “What’s this?” with a look of confusion when shown the e-tickets. And, I would absolutely not be all like, “What’s this play, *Doubt, all about? I never heard of it.”  Poor Andrew. He knows how sorry I am.  I only hope it doesn’t discourage him from any possible future surprises.  (I really appreciate and love what you did.)
  • you act like an idiot and tell anyone who listens what’s going on in your life at that very moment.  I’m pretty sure the clerk at Old Navy did not care that my mom and I were going to go see a *movie and I was going to order nachos and cheese – oh, I really hope they have nachos and cheese – I’m sure they do right? I mean, it’s an IMAX theater after all….   Yeah, I had uncool written all of my face – and probably my outfit.
  • you have to get a ride from security after the movie is over because you parked on the complete other side of the largest mall in Georgia.  Not only was it silly enough that we were being slowly chauffeured around the mall, but then some “real” action happened (a car backed into a yellow pole) and the security guard was all disappointed that he had to take my mom and I (or as he kept repeating on his walkie talkie, the “10-15”) to our car.  My mom kept hysterically giggling every time he called us the “10-15.” It was all so hilarious, especially when the guy said “I’m going try to get there as soon as I can but I still gotta find this 10-15’s vehicle!” It was at that point that my mom and I told him to go get that “41” or whatever it was and let us out to walk.  Man, I feel bad for that “41.”  He had one geeked up guard coming after him!
  • you enjoy every second of your special time.  Thanks for the wonderful memories Andrew and mommy!  I had a blast!

*If you were wondering, Andrew and I both really liked the play and the movie my mom and I saw was Made of Honor and we both enjoyed that as well!
 

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Ringing in 32

22 Mar

As I write this, in 2 minutes, you turn 32 years old.

There you are asleep on the couch, your glass of root beer still full.  Like always.

Just a few hours ago, we watched brainless television shows.  Like always.

We snacked on junk food when we really shouldn’t have.  Like always.

We talked about the sweet (or not so sweet) things the kids did today.  Like always.

The clock just struck 12.

Happy Birthday, sleepy boy. I can’t wait to spend your special day and many more together.

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And then she started screaming, “Peanut Butter Crackers!”

15 Mar

Ever hear two little girls, ages 4 and 5, talk on the phone?  Nia’s friend Nicole calls her every couple of days just to make sure her favorite colors are still pink, purple and blue and if she’s changed her mind about who her favorite princess is.  It is a riot.  Tonight, I actually got some of the conversation (if you can call it that!) on camera and thought you might like to watch Nia act all grown up and stuff.  She even told Nate to go away because he was being too noisy!

After I stopped the camera, Andrew and I really cracked up.  Nicole asked Nia what she did at school today and  I told her to tell Nicole what she had for a snack.  Although Nicole had started talking about something else, Nia just started yelling “Peanut Butter Crackers!”  She kept yelling it because she thought Nicole’s “what’s?” meant she couldn’t hear what Nia was saying but really Nicole had no idea why Nia was shouting “Peanut Butter Crackers!” at her.

I think I’m going to try that next time I get an unwanted phone call. “Hello?” “Hello Ms. Va-yez?” “Peanut Butter Crackers!”  “Ah, yes, is Ms. Va-lez there?”  “Peanut! Butter! Crackers!”

Yep.  Sounds like a plan.

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Mr. Rogers would be proud

21 Feb

I’ve been so fortunate to have lived next door to some really wonderful people.  I really can’t take credit for any of it – my mom and dad picked the first house and with our two houses, we had no idea who lived next to us.  Call it fate or luck or God or whatever you want to call it, but so far, we’ve had some of the best neighbors.

The neighbors I had while I was growing up are like family to me.  I’m so happy they are there for my mom and that my mom is there for them.  We’ve always had the key to their house and they’ve always had ours.  We’ve shared in ALL the happy family moments together, as well as the sad ones.  I couldn’t imagine my life without them.  I even got introduced to their culture and religion, attending Greek Bible School with them and even learning some of their language and traditions.  Words really can’t touch the appreciation and love I have for them.

When we lived in Savannah, the couple across the street helped take care of me while Andrew was deployed in Iraq and I was pregnant.  They landscaped our front yard and decorated our house for Andrew’s homecoming.  When they moved away, we tried to stay in touch.  One time, we ran into each other at the Atlanta Zoo and it was only because they recognized my laugh echoing through the trees!  I heard, “Nicole Valles, is that you?!?!”  It was a great feeling and we still continue to try to keep in touch.

Our neighbors now, Allison and James, are just as wonderful.  They’ve done the usual ‘neighborly’ thing of caring for our turtle, Clark, while we’re away and collecting our mail, but they’ve also alerted us to two outdoor spectacles that we would have missed if it wasn’t for them – the snow that fell here last month and tonight’s lunar eclipse.  Allison has even invited me to go with her and her friends for a birthday celebration this weekend in Atlanta!  I was like, “She likes me!  She really likes me!”  And so far, I haven’t done anything embarrassing to change her mind!

 

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Turning 30 with Family, Friends and Feces

12 Jan

Yum right?  I feel bad for even putting that word next to the other words.  Not just because it’s so yucky, but because I literally feel bad because of it.  Don’t worry, I won’t get all detailed or anything.  It’s just – I can’t talk about my 30th birthday without mentioning the disgusting distress Andrew and I are suffering through even now.

We’ve had this rumbly in our tumbly for the past week.  Remember when I wrote I was sick and then all better?  Well, I apparently was deceived by this blah that has taken over our bodies.  We are still able to function with it.  We even are still hungry.  But when we eat, we pay for it later.  Severely.

It all would have been a lot more tolerable if it had rudely entered our lives at a better time.  It happened to hit us right as we were getting ready to visit our family (Anna Marie, Marcus, Baby Ella and new Baby Maggie) – plus our buddies (Ginger, Lee and Baby Cami).  We called and warned them.  “We have a butt disease – still want to see us?”  They must really love us because they all said yes.  We’ll see if they still feel the same if they get it too! (Which I am praying they do not!)

It also came as I was turning 30 and Andrew had a very special surprise for me.  He had secretly invited Anna Marie and her girls plus Ginger, Lee and Cami to go to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you.  He led me to believe we were going to an all you can eat buffet and never said anything about our friends being there!  It was so super sweet and wonderful – that is – except for our tummy troubles. Andrew and I didn’t even eat our main food. It also wasn’t such a good idea to take 4 small children to one of those restaurants. For the most part, the were entertained by the chef but Nia was not having any of the food and Nate was hysterical before the chef came (“Chicken!  French Fries!”), Ella was petrified of the fire and it was getting way late for Miss Cami. Poor Andrew.  He did such a sweet thing for me – I’m sorry it didn’t turn out as he hoped – I want him to know how much it all meant to me and that I love him bunches.

Well, despite it all – I’m 30 and I had a lot of happy memories to go along with the big day.  I got to spend my actual birthday with great friends.  Ginger and Lee sacrificed their master bedroom so the Valles Fam could crash ever so comfortably.  I got to enjoy 2 cakes – one that Andrew surprised me with and another that Ginger and I nibbled on secretly. She even made us super delicious daiquiris and a breakfast of champions the next day.

I may not be all that thrilled about turning 30 but then again – the older I get, the more time I get to spend with the people I love.  I just hope the next birthday comes without the party on the potty.

 

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Never Too Old for Slumber Parties

16 Nov

It’s funny because if we still lived in Savannah, I would be able to enjoy the company of good friends whenever I wanted.  I would be able to call them up on any random day and say “let’s meet up for dinner.”  I would be able to spend any weekend afternoon at the park with them or brave the mall with babies in tow.  As much as I would love to be able to do those things, one thing living several hours away has done is require SLEEP OVERS!

I have always loved having friends stay over my house.  My mom spoiled me by letting me have anywhere from 5 to 12 pre-teen/teen girls keep her awake with our giggles and screams and New Kids on the Block song renditions (choreographed dances included).  Now that I’m older, the sleep overs have changed – we sure don’t stay up very late (1 am was insane!), we are now legally allowed to drink as much alcohol as we dare to, our conversations are about kids and money instead of which boy is cute and clothes/hair/weight – oh wait I’m wrong about that last one – weight is still a topic – but anyway – some things never change – like the comfort and security and sanity that good friends provide.

I loved getting to spend so much time with Ginger, Lee and Cami last weekend.  We didn’t even have to do anything and it was fun.  Watching the kids play – fun.  Sitting on the couch and chillin’ (often with laptops) – fun.  Heading out to Winder’s Fall Festival without knowing if it would be lame or not – fun (actually lots of fun).  It was just so awesome getting my “friend fix” for 4 days straight and being able to celebrate Ginger’s birthday with her.  I can only hope that we always try to do our best to share as many special events as we can together.  After all, Ginger was part of one of the most special events in my life (Nia’s birth) and it just feels so natural to have our families grow up together.  (And maybe even be able to watch our girls share more sleep overs!)

So Comfy

 

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I’m Blaming Disney…

11 Oct

(Even though I know, ultimately, it’s my fault since I’m the one who pushed the princesses on her for these past few years.)

Nia has a crush at school.  His name is Colin and she says he has a nice haircut and is cute.

WHAT?!?!?

ALREADY?!?!

Part of me thinks it’s adorable but the other part of me wants to shelter her from knowing all the hurt that comes out of crushes and young love.  This shouldn’t be starting so soon!  I had at least waited until I was in the first grade before I smooched my crush on his ear after saying to him, “I have to tell you a secret.”  Pretty sly, huh?

It just seems that 4-years-old is too young to even be noticing that someone is cute!  What makes the whole thing even worse is that she told me Colin doesn’t really play with her.  She says it’s because he plays with other girls that he thinks are prettier.  !!!!!!!  She told me that he liked her long hair better.  !!!!!!!!!!   Now, I don’t know how much of this I can believe since she says he never actually told her those things.  She’s, like, just assuming them or something but still!  The fact that she even knows to say something like “the other girls are prettier” – how heartbreaking is that?

I guess it has begun and there’s nothing we can do about it.  I just don’t think I can handle my baby girl feeling bad because of some boy (or anything for that matter).  Not now or when it’s really going to hurt.  I know it’s all a part of growing up and we all went through it – it’s just different when it’s happening to the people you want to protect the most.

 

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A Funeral, Family and a 3 Day Trip

3 Oct

We’re home.  The funeral service was beautiful and sad (Andrew’s dad gave the eulogy) and so many people came to say goodbye to Grandma over the two days she was shown – she was such a social butterfly and touched many lives with her personality.  I just wish she could have seen the kids one last time.

Speaking of the kids, Nia was a sweetie during it all.  There were 3 different showings over two days and then the funeral on the third day and she was so awesomely behaved I couldn’t believe it!  I mean, the whole thing is hard on us grown ups so I thought for sure it would be terrible for her – especially since she was pretty sleep deprived.  She told us she touched Grandma’s hand and that it wasn’t soft like it used to be and that she was very careful when she touched it.  She said it was her way of showing Grandma that she loved her.  How in the world does a 4 year old know that?  I asked her if anyone told her that and she said no.  She also told me that Grandma will wake up when Jesus comes to get her.  Amazing.  All I can do sometimes is look at her in shock.  She even did great in the car.  Sleeping for much of the way and never complaining.  She’s our angel.

As for Nate – well, he had his moments. Looking back on it, he was as well behaved as I could have hoped.  At the time though, it felt like I was running in circles.  The car rides and being quiet at the funeral service were hard things for him.  I had to take him outside for much of it.  Part of me felt sad that I didn’t get to properly mourn but then I thought that might be a good thing too.  He helped me keep my mind of the sadness of death and instead focus on the beauty and happiness of life.  That little boy – he might actually be an angel in disguise.

While the trip home was for Grandma’s funeral –  it did give us a chance to see family we haven’t seen in a really long time.  I’m so happy that my sister drove in from Ohio.  Even though we didn’t get to spend a ton of time together – it was so wonderful to see her and my nieces.  I needed a family fix.  I’m so thankful she came home and I can’t wait to see her, my brother-in-law (who was missed!) and the girls again soon!  We also got to see Andrew’s cousins that we haven’t seen since our wedding.  One of them is now getting married and she wants Nia to be a flower girl!  I’m so excited!

Other than all of that – here’s a few other things to note about our trip-

  • Spending 20 hours in the car within 3 days with two kids
  • 1 screaming baby boy who made sure we all knew how miserable he was being stuck in his car seat for those 20 hours. (We only really made one pit stop each way because we were driving through the night and if we let him out of the seat too many times – he wouldn’t want to get back in.)
  • Too many tears to count – crying over Grandma’s death, crying over struggling with the boy, crying over missing family
  • 1 strong White Russian that made me pass out in the chair of my living room while watching tv with my sister and devouring a bag full of those cheddar sour cream chips (not one of my best moments during the trip).
  • Tons of smiles and laughs watching the kids play with their cousins/Aunt/Uncles/Grandparents (my niece Gabbie and Nia had found some foot cushions at my house and had them on their faces!  Then they grabbed my mom’s shoes and purses and said they were “going to the doctor.”  Too cute!)
  • Several bittersweet reunions – we got to see family and people we haven’t seen in super a long time but it feels weird being happy to see them when your loved one is in the next room being mourned.
  • 1 warning from the West Virginia State Police for going 10 over the speed limit.  Andrew is like the luckiest person when it comes to tickets.  He always knows what to say – somehow he only spoke maybe 5 sentences to the officer but he managed to slip in “grandma’s funeral,” “used to be in the Army,” “when I was deployed to Iraq” and an appropriate amount of “sirs.”  Hey…he gave it a shot and it paid off!  I know it wouldn’t have worked for me!
  • Laughing hysterically at the boy and Andrew on the way home from WV.  Nate would go from screaming like a madman to calm just by Andrew saying very smoothly to him, “Nate, okay, okaaayyyy?”  Nate would say very softly back, “kay.”  I don’t know what it was but it was so funny!  Andrew had just asked him, “Nate, where’s your blankey?” to which Nate would scream, “NO!”  Andrew, “Where’s your thumb?”  Nate, “NO!”  Andrew, “Nate, okay, okaaayyy?”  Nate, “kay.”

Well, that’s it for now, okay?  Kay.
 

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