Tag Archives: funny

Lost in Translation

1 Jun

This isn’t a post about the health politics surrounding the packaged and bottled temptations whose fate is determined by the small fingers holding a few dollars and punching a letter/number button combination. It’s obvious by this post that I don’t forbid my children from standing on the other side of those temptations and waiting in anticipation for the coil to force their selection to them.

However, I only give my kids the resources to do this once a week at camp – on Fridays. Also, I’ve told them not to push the button that would release the caffeine to them. I’ve guided them toward healthier (because nothing is really healthy in there) choices but I let them decide for themselves. I do check up on them though. What did they enjoy? Tonight’s conversation really pushed my giggle button but I made like a defective machine and kept my laugh trapped to not embarrass Nate.

Me: “What did you pick from the vending machine at camp today?”

Nia: “Fruit punch, a cinnamon roll and some candy for my friend.” (I love that she shared her money but I hope her friend’s mom isn’t anti-snack machine. Oh boy.)

Me: “Nate, what did get from the vending machine?”

Nate: “Vending machine? Is that Spanish for snack machine?”

He was so serious and curious. What is this “vending machine” you speak of? Although, part of me wonders if he was just distracting me from what he did buy – a Powerade, a doughnut and hot fries. Glad I only give them money on Friday. I may have to cut it down to $2 … and a Spanish lesson.

Hereditary Hulk Hatred?

24 Feb

I don’t remember a ton about being little. I’m told stories about how I would scream like a madwoman when my mom brushed my waist-long hair. I loved playing Barbies and would get lost for hours in my Barbie world. I collected unicorns and had a beloved Dino Flintstone stuffed animal that my mom would use to wake me up every morning. I hated the Incredible Hulk.

Now, maybe hate is the wrong word. I more, lived in fear of Hulk. My mom says if it came on television, she would frantically change the channel or yell from the other room for the person closest to the television to, “change it, change it!” I remember once at my Grandma Rafiani’s house, I hid under the couch cushions as I waited for someone to rescue me from the growling, green fury with glowing eyes.

It seems my dislike for the green one has been passed down to our little man. I never voiced my fear of Hulk around Nate. His feelings were not influenced by mine and are unique from mine in that he can watch the cartoon and loves to play with his tiny Hulk toy – during the day that is.

At night, this is what happens to the glow-in-the-dark, plastic superhero:

Andrew tried for three nights to catch Nate on the hidden camera. He thinks it’s so funny how Nate doesn’t just place Hulk outside his door, he walks Hulk to the back of the couch and perches him on top, facing the stairs. Catching Nate on camera involved some pretty sneaky work on our part. We had to get Nate to bed without him noticing Hulk in his room. If he noticed, he would say, “Mommy, Hulk.” Andrew left Nate’s bedroom light on for as long as he could as he tucked Nate in, said prayers, gave kisses … Then, Andrew hurried me downstairs as he pressed record. When he finally succeeded in capturing Nate banishing Hulk on camera, Andrew came dancing downstairs, ecstatic about what he was about to see.

I love how Nate is so determined to make Hulk stand on the couch. He’s concentrating so hard – biting his tongue, brow furrowed. Kind of like his daddy was as he carried out his hidden camera plan. 

I guess Nate really takes after both of us. (After all, Andrew actually liked watching Hulk.)

And So It Begins (well, sort of)

22 Feb

It’s a common theme for a love story. Boy meets girl. Boy asks for girl’s phone number. Boy calls girl. Boy and girl don’t speak until girl hands the phone to her dad and says, “I don’t want to talk to him right now. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Oh yeah, did I mention that boy and girl are only six years old?

So far, Nia has collected the digits of four boys in her class. Only she knows how many boys she graced with her number – likely the lone thing written on a large sheet of copy paper or barely fitting on a piece of ripped notebook paper.

I’m sure this number exchange is happening because many of them have just fully memorized their phone numbers so they are excited about sharing this information with others. I also realize that these boys dig Nia and Nia digs them.

Great.

“Can Nia come over to my house?” This is what “Brian” asks Andrew when he calls. Andrew’s response involved, “I don’t even know who this is or where you live.” Andrew also spoke with Brian’s mom who informed him that Brian had been asking to call Nia all weekend.

When Andrew finally gives the phone to Nia – Brian says nothing to Nia and she says nothing to him. Zip.

This is what makes it all so funny to me. They are handing out their phone numbers left and right but they do not even really know how to talk on the phone – to anyone – properly yet. Another boy left her a voicemail a few weeks ago. It went like this, “Heeey. Is is reeeek. Call me baaaack.”

Whaaaat?

Maybe they should just facebook her?
 

Sleepy Head on the Steps

22 Jul

Parenting Lesson Number Who Knows What

20 Jun

Taking YouTube requests from the kids is a pretty common thing for us. In fact, when they even see me just sit down near the laptop they surround me, hurling search terms out in the air – Spiderman! Barbie! Me! Lightning McQueen! Hannah Montana! Charlie Bit Me! Funny Videos!

It actually can be a lot of fun. We all really crack up over Charlie Bit My Finger and the other night we watched some boy talk about his cool Spiderman action figures for six minutes. (That one wasn’t a blast for me but Nate was totally into it.) That same night, we ventured into a few “Lightning McQueen” videos. That’s when we saw a cute picture of a Beagle puppy labeled, “Talking Puppy!!” Of course, I clicked on it.

The clip was fine for the first few seconds but then – well – you can just watch it and see for yourself.

Yeah. Not the best thing for the kids to see, especially right before bed when that’s pretty much the last thing they’ll see for that day. I told them it was pretend and that it was just some guy who was wearing a lot of scary makeup for Halloween. That, plus a few more “innocent” Spidey and Barbie videos, seemed to help them forget about the crazy man screaming at them as they were trying to watch the dang puppy say “I love you!”

Of course, I’ve known you never know what you’re going to get with YouTube vids but my cockiness with my searching and selecting ability got the best of me. I guess I’ll just have to screen the videos the best I can before pressing play.
 

Littlest, Biggest David Cook Fans

15 Mar

Little David Cook Wannabe

11 Mar

Nate really loves to rock out to some David Cook.  He even recognizes him when he sees him on television.  Here’s a sample of how serious he gets when he’s belting it out –

Our Little Puzzler

14 Aug

He doesn't know his colors yet but he can tell you where Alabama (or as Andrew taught him, "Al-a-BAMA!") goes on the map.

Nate has been amazing us with his mad map puzzle skills.  He just loves to dump out all the pieces and then put them all back – over and over again.  I love it!  He already knows more than I do about geography!  (I'm lucky if I can name the seven continents.  There are seven of them right?)

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A Mini-Multi-Tasker

27 May

Nia always wants to help me vacuum so today I decided to let her push a Nia size sweeper that really works.  She loved it!  She kept asking me to open it up so she could see how much she cleaned.  After a little bit though, I heard it running but not really moving all that much.  The picture explains it all-

She was reading “Cinderella” as she was moving the vacuum back and forth!  She told me she needed to read the book so she would know how to clean the right way.  Here I thought she was hinting to me that I was making her feel like a maid or something.  I guess I still have at least another five years before that happens. Then I’ll be lucky if she even helps me plug in the vacuum.

Thanks for wanting to help me now Nia.  You’re a super cute little cleaner!

I promise I feed them more than fast food!

27 May

Despite Nate and Nia’s collection of kids’ meal toys, I never really thought they ate too much fast food.  It wasn’t until Nate started to refer to each toy as “Chicken French Fries” that I started to think otherwise.

Yeah.  I think we’re going to cut back on our trips to BK and Mickey D’s.

 

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