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Sitcom Mom
8 MayWhat came first? The sitcom mom or the mom who has sitcom mom moments? The moments when we think, did I just do/say/find that? Who am I? I am such a mom. Whoa. That’s surreal. I’m a mom.
Some “who am I?” scenarios that come to mind include:
- Having in-depth discussions (arguments) about why you should go potty before and after bed – or really even just why you should go at all. Seriously, why does going potty have to be fight? After using all the logical reasoning about why they should take care of business, I usually just end up with the phrase I used to loathe as a child – “Because I said so!”
- Looking for a piece of gum in my purse and discovering a rock, a baseball, a DS game and Capri Sun straw wrappers but no gum. I’m sure it will soon turn into missing money…
- Worrying about whether the kids are eating enough nutritious food. I remember putting away McChicken sandwiches, a bag of Funyons and a package of Hostess Ho Hos like they were going to be stolen from me when I was growing up. Now, I will never willingly buy those products for my kids. (I have to draw the line at some junk food.)
- Caring about whether the kids act properly. I used to be such a wild woman. Now, I find myself saying over and over, “Be proper. Must be polite. That’s not proper.”
- I hate to admit it but I have said, “There are starving people in…” when they aren’t eating their food.
- Correcting the kids behavior (in other words, yelling at them with idle threats of punishment) whether I’m on the toilet, in the shower or standing in the hall in my bra and underwear with my hair wrapped in a towel after hearing them fight at the breakfast table. (Major ridiculousness there.)
- I’m a big fan of the “who can be quiet the longest” game. And rematches.
- I actually check behind their ears and remind them to wash them. (Whaaat?! When I first noticed myself doing that, I stopped and looked in the mirror. I am a mom. Whoa.)
2008
Lessons from a Birthday Party
1 MayNia’s 8th birthday party taught me a few things about party planning and celebrating:
- When my daughter tells me she only wants to invite five of her school friends, plan for that instead of something bigger and guiding her into inviting more so that so-and-so’s feelings aren’t hurt. Which also translates to: save stress, energy and money.
- Next time, I’m going to mail invites to people’s homes instead of hoping the invited kids will then give it to their parents. That way, at least I’ll know an adult is failing to RSVP instead of wondering if that adult even saw the invite.
- A child doesn’t need a huge party, just their party. Nia had a great time with her two special BFFs, friends Jamie and Aaron and her brother. I think the adults helped some too. (See next lesson learned.)
- Those burns the kids get from bouncies dang hurt. (My 10 minutes of jumping graced me with two – one on my forearm and one on my knee. I’m actually proud of them – I laughed the whole time they happened.) Andrew also notes that if we were to by our own jumpy, it would be the basketball one. (You likely know how he loves researching things. He and Nate had a blast in there.)
- Kids have fun spinning in circles. In other words, why do we (parents) feel the need to go all out for parties? My friend, Allison, and I were talking about how it used to be (yes, back in my day) that going over each others’ houses to play with toys and have cake was party enough (and a ton of fun). Now, we rent jumpies, petting zoos, face painters, Santa and Mrs. Claus… It’s like constantly having to out-do or meet the special-level of the last party. Where do you draw the line? Now that I’ve gone there, when/how can I tame it down?
- When it’s all said and done though, my beautiful Bean is “almost 9” as Nate pointed out during the party. Time flies when you’re a child in a hurry to have another birthday party. I’m glad we have a few months of a break.
Not About Me
29 AprI’m thankful for Facebook tonight because it helped me wake up to my selfishness. Because of it, I was able to see some friends sharing in the royal wedding with their daughter, who’s a little older than Nia. They made a special British-inspired breakfast and wore crowns. They all looked so happy at 5ish in the morning and I loved how they were making it such a treasured memory for their daughter.
Nia, meanwhile, was still asleep because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I wasn’t all that excited for it and my take-it-or-leave-it attitude almost caused Nia to miss the chance to see history happen, learn about another country or at least oo and ah at Kate’s dress. I have memories of Diana and Prince Charles’ wedding. Seems a royal wedding of this caliber only happens once every few decades. She shouldn’t miss that.
I went in her room and asked her in a whisper if she wanted to see the wedding of a real-life prince and princess. She nodded yes and I scooped my princess out of her bed and carried her to our bed, where she squinted and blinked to adjust her sleepy eyes to the bright screen. She was happy.
I’m glad I woke up to the realization that my opinions (about things of this nature) should not influence Nia’s chance to make hers.
(Sheila and Jesse, thank you for helping me see, in a very indirect way, that it’s not always about me. You are way cool parents.)
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You Reach, I’ll Hold On
26 AprLittle Birthday Bean,
The years now say you are 8 but your size says you are still a 6X. You want to wear the clothes made for girls your age but they are too big for you.
You have a big kid bike but often like to take a spin on the tricycles you still fit so comfortably on.
Still fits!
You still enjoy reading books for younger children (and even reading them to younger kids) but can tear through a chapter book better than many adults.
Bean and Her Books
You love playing outside and are probably now old enough to play at the front of the house by yourself but you stay in the backyard where it’s fenced and where you can swing for as long as your heart desires. You are even happier now that your daddy raised your swing up higher off the ground – making you feel like a bigger kid while you sing to yourself as your tiptoes of one foot touch the ground.
Sweetness
You have such big dreams. You say you want to be “an actress who’s an art teacher and who can sing.” You recently asked if you could be all of that and a photographer too. I love that you have a passion for the creative and still have the brain for the scientific, bringing home 100’s on your schoolwork and continually scoring the highest possible on your report cards. For as little as you are, your brain is gigantic and amazes us every day with your smarts and your wit. You tell us jokes on a daily basis, often ones you make up yourself. (I’m especially impressed by this because I can’t ever remember jokes and bomb at telling them.) My favorite of yours is the Poo-Poo Train one…
"I want to be a photographer."
The love you have for your little brother is also enormous. You take care of him when it’s just the two of you while you’re playing outside or at your after school program. Sure, you two nah-nah each other a lot but you also make each other laugh a lot. (Like in the picture below from the zoo where you both were making faces to the hand dryer nozzle to see your distorted, silly reflections.) You are such a caring big sister – often reading Nate a book or trying to help him tie his shoes. Nate is so lucky to have you.
Silly Sibling Faces
This is such an interesting age. Because, like I keep repeating and holding on to, you are still so little and it’s hard for me to connect you to or get used to your interest in older kid things. Like Katy Perry’s CD (which features some songs not appropriate for young ears but you marked them on the CD case and sincerely told me you wouldn’t listen to them) or your first teen celebrity magazine. Your eyes were so wide when you saw it in the store last night and you were so happy when I told you could have it. You immediately started reading me snippets of scoop, seeming so excited to learn it. You couldn’t put it down.
First Teen Celebrity Mag
You also couldn’t wait to tape the poster of the boy band, Big Time Rush, on your pink princess wall. This is probably the most descriptive way to show how you are reaching for those older years but still aren’t quite ready to let go of being little. I asked you about taking down Sleeping Beauty but you told me no. That you liked it there still. I do too, Bean. I do too.
Boy Band vs. Princess
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Bean
3 Dresses, 1 Special Day
25 AprHer prayers and lessons are learned. She knows how to hold her hands. Her veil is ready. Her new shoes are broken in. Her confessions of being mean to her brother and lying to a friend have been prayed over. Now, which dress does she wear as she celebrates her First Holy Communion?
Nia’s special day happens in a few weeks and we are all ready, except for that formal component.
My mom washed and shipped mine to us but it is out-dated and way too big. Plus, Nia was not a fan. Can’t tell that by the picture below, can you?
She loves it!
We shopped online together and found two she really liked. Once they arrived, picking was tough. She kept asking which one I liked best. I wouldn’t tell her. I kept stressing to her that it’s her special day. She asked if she could take a picture in each of them but then decided against it. She stared at them. She thought. She chose. “The long, straight one is my favorite.” I told her that her veil would look beautiful with it and she hugged me, never knowing my true favorite. (The other one.)
Nia loves the left one.
We were going to return the other dress but we’ve decided to donate it to our church just in case another little girl needs one. Based off Nia’s tough decision, we think it will make someone very happy.
Don’t worry. My dress from the mid-80’s will stay here with me.
Nate Strut
18 AprMaybe it’s because he sees his daddy in a blazer and tie each Sunday. Maybe it’s because he wants a break from his fast pants. Maybe it’s because he just likes to be dapper. Whatever the reason, Nate wants to wear his little clip-on tie whenever he can and has been asking for his own blazer for weeks now.
Well, we finally bought him one this weekend and he couldn’t wait to wear it. He didn’t want to take it off after trying it on and then negotiated to wear it home from the store.
As soon as he buttoned it, he began to strut. Oh yeah. He knew he was lookin’ good. He was feeling it. I can’t help but think of the John Travolta movie and Bee Gee’s song “Staying Alive” when looking at these pictures. At the end of the movie, Travolta’s character, Tony Manero, says he wants to strut and then the song plays.
Our little ladies’ man.
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Aisle Magazine Cover Quiz
16 AprThey’re meant to keep young (or easily offended/don’t want to see it?) eyes from spying questionable subject matter while mom/dad empties the shopping cart at the grocery store checkout. For Nia though, they do the opposite. For as long as I can remember, they’ve been quietly inviting her to look behind them. Her inquisitive mind wondering, why are those magazines covered when the others are not? Now, it’s almost like a quiz – supplying understanding to her constantly growing knowledge bank.
During our latest trip to the store, I actually had all my groceries on the belt and was able to take some pictures of her as she peeked behind the plastic shields. Like always, when she couldn’t figure out why a magazine was covered, she would ask me and I would explain it to her the best I could – with answers like, “Some people may not find that proper.” Or, “Maybe it’s because of certain words on the magazine that some may not want to see while in line.” That, of course, would cause her to ask which words and why. For other covers though, she figured it out right away…
What's behind censor cover #1?
She's contemplating why this one is covered.
The Word "Sexy" Revealed
Didn't even have to think about this censor cover...
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Out But Not Down
15 AprI know Nate’s attitude about getting out during his turn to bat won’t always be this way (in fact, I’m somewhat surprised of this reaction), but I will always cherish it.
She Held My Hand
14 Apr
I went on a field trip with Nia and learned more than the tour guides taught us. While the guides at the William Harris Homestead Home were interactively telling us about the Civil War, land ownership, cotton and life in the 19th Century, I was learning more about my little girl.
For example:
How she interacts with friends:
- They would hold hands, whisper and giggle about things I didn’t quite understand.
- They took care of her. One even made sure Nia could see and told another friend to “let our little one see.”
How her mind thinks:
- She bravely raised her hand at almost every session to ask the guide a question or to try to answer their questions. She got a lot of praise for getting the question right about what would make the homemade candles a different color. “Maybe they were burned or something.” The guide seemed surprised and told her that not many people answer that one correctly. Nia beamed.
- She searched for me in the crowd to connect eyes with me when they mentioned Savannah in one of their talks.
What makes her laugh:
- She giggled at the silly speak that only her friends understood and at the jokes the tour guides told.
- Hayrides. For sure.
- She laughed at me when I tried to be funny in front of her friends. (I think I had a 78% success rate on my jokes but I should get extra points because I didn’t have to resort to potty humor for laughs.)
What makes her upset/concerned:
- She was very concerned about one of her friends lying to me. (The little girl told me she had something in her lunch and Nia waited to see if she was telling the truth. Nia reports that she in fact – did not – have it in her lunch.)
- She does not like line cutters. Not one bit.
I also learned that she was happy I was there. She genuinely wanted me around – reaching out for my hand several times and including me in her silliness with friends. Thank you for making me feel so welcome, Bean. I love hanging out with you and your buddies.
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