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Imagination Snapshot

25 Sep

She wakes up but keeps her door closed to the rest of the family. It’s her time. Her time to make-believe.

I wonder what Nia dreams about to make her want to stay in her room as soon as her eyes open and start building lives for her Barbies. I loved to play pretend with my Barbies too. I became lost in their made up lives. I wish I could remember the stories I thought up then. I’m sure they would be good enough for a dollar store book rack.

I asked Nia if I could capture some of her imagination and keep it forever in one of my blogs. She told me sure and then even invited me in to her Barbie world tell me more about what her dolls had been doing at the time she was called to breakfast. Her imagination took a much different turn than mine. I’ll share what I thought they’d been up to and then reveal Nia’s plans for them.

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These dolls are enjoying a healthy brunch and then will follow-up with some serious hair makeovers. They must be having a girls get together during an emotional time in their lives – based on the food choices, the messy hair and the proximity of the toilet. (Upset stomach often calls during a roller coaster of emotions.)

Nia’s thoughts: “They are eating breakfast, lunch and dinner all at once. And I made their house out of the special Liv Doll room I had.”

She sets up a nice spread.

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Clearly, these two just got hitched.

Not so, says Nia. “I just wanted her to sit in his lap.”

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These are girls visiting the pediatrician for their newborns’ check ups. (There’s a baby in that pink stork thing.) The pediatrician is wearing the vinyl hot pants. She has a stethoscope so she must be legit, yo.

Nia sets me straight, “They just visited their neighbors – the girls eating all the food.”

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This poor miss just injured her hand in a fire and now must wear a doll-shaped bandage for it to heal. The fire also frayed her hair.

Nia straightens my mind out, “She’s a teacher who just got fired because she wasn’t reading to the students enough. She was telling them a story with a puppet on her hand when she was fired.”

I like Nia’s version of that one much better. I am concerned about the firing though. Seems like a pretty cool teacher to be using a puppet to act out a story.

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Me: Hot date to the drive-in movie theater.

Nia: They’re just driving home.

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Oh, this one is good. It’s a witch trying to remove the mermaid spell cast upon this Barbie in need of a comb. (The spell will also fix that.) The witch must perform the incantation in a hot tub in order for the mermaid to be the right temperature to shed her scales and form legs. Plus, an adult fruity beverage will also magically appear in celebration after her tail transforms.

Nia had no thought of witches. “The mermaid has to stay in the tub and the girl standing just wanted to warm her feet because she just got back from Kansas City visiting daddy.”

I’m not jealous at all but I like my witch story way better.

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All of the children under age 8 must sit on the only child seat in the house. As soon as one gets down they all must stop watching tv. The dogs, cat, rabbit and Cinderella mouse are attached to the children with an invisible leash. They must go wherever the children go.

Nia explains, “They are brothers and sisters watching tv. See the crown on the bike helmet?” (I love the close up picture below. Really shows the placement of each child – and that crown.)

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I can’t wait to hear what the next morning of Barbie world holds for me. I wonder if that teacher will get her job back?

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My Dolphin Tale

24 Sep

Sniff. Sniff. Shaking, chin wrinkle sob. Rub on the back and arm hug from sweet Nia. Yes, I loved Dolphin Tale and I’m so proud of myself for not letting my anxiety with crowded theaters get the best of me.

First, the movie. Nia and I loved it. I can’t reveal her favorite part because it would then reveal some key moments (but it involves something that happens near the end). I’m pretty sure Nate’s favorite part was popcorn and the end. It just wasn’t his cup. He got a bit antsy during the adult conversation and plot development scenes. Maybe too deep for theater viewing for some children ages 5 and under. Of course, his 35-year-old father thought it went a bit long too so again, it depends on your cup. Nia and I were in movie watching heaven.

That is, except for the fact that I don’t do well in crowded theaters. I start feeling dizzy and have trouble breathing as the people pile in and chose seats around me. This was especially difficult because we got there early and it’s opening weekend so there wasn’t an empty seat. When the people sat next to me, I nervously smiled and then felt better when she smiled back and made small talk about how lucky they were to get those seats.

No kidding.

They weren’t the groups who came in late and made others move and miss movie moments. Those same people then got up halfway through to get a snack. Another movie moment missed. On the flip of that though, I really loved the woman in front of us who shouted out in reaction to a scene from the movie and then was the first to applaud at the end. Joyous. Love that.

A tale around a tale. Based on a true story.

 

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No Break for Behavior

22 Sep

I support cause and effect punishment. If you do something you know is wrong, especially after being warned and told not to do it again, there should be a punishment. Whether it’s being mean/hurtful to someone else, refusing to listen/respect adults or tearing the paint off of walls, there needs to be some corrective action taken and guidance provided about what is proper behavior and what is not.

What that punishment is has varied for us over the years. There were a lot of time-outs. There were a few spankings. Too many scoldings to count. Privileges and toys (once an entire doll house) taken away. Even soap (with immediate rinsing). The severity of the punishment depended on the no-no. We rarely had to punish twice for the same no-no. A lot of it was us figuring it out as we went. If it seemed like one thing wasn’t working after a while, we tried another. If it seemed the punishment really didn’t fit the behavior, we altered it.

This is why I’m so confused/surprised that I’m feeling that kids need a break now and then. We give plenty of warnings to allow them to settle down and make a better choice so our need for punishment has dropped significantly because they’ve learned they don’t want to be in trouble and that they want to do what’s right. I believe school does this too. I can count on one hand the number of times Nia had to “pull a stick” during her years in school. Nate is (knock on wood) actually doing great in school as well. He had to pull a stick once for keeping his feet on someone else’s square on the rug, which I’m sure boils down to a listening issue. He’s been doing so well at following all the school rules but then there are even more rules at after-school and I guess – well – he’s just a little tired at that point.

We got a note home from the after-school counselors saying Nate’s behavior is becoming a problem because he’s not listening. They were surprised because he is one of “their best kids.” I called because I wanted specifics so I would know how to help correct the concern. Basically, he’s not listening is what I was told.

  • He bounces in his seat on the bus. I told him not to bounce. Keep his bottom in the seat. It’s for his safety and all the kids because the bus driver doesn’t need distractions. He understood.
  • In the after-school room, he’s to listen to his counselors like he listens to his teacher. Be a helper, not a hurter.
  • If he brings another note home then we will take away privileges. No video games. No tv time.

Fine. But then I thought about it. So many rules. All day long. When I went to my grandparents after elementary school they never had a report for my mom. “Nikki wouldn’t listen. She sassed her grandpa.” I did that. Yes. But it was never relayed to my parents. After a day of rule-following so well at school, I was allowed a rest from the regime. To not listen here and there, without it being written up.

I guess it comes down to – I just don’t want to be nagging him all the time. Not good for any of us. A break is needed. I feel like it will be ok if I ease up on him for minor after-school issues. I think my working mommy with no family around guilt is blurring my behavior patrol glasses. I may need a time-out.

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School Picture Style Hopes

19 Sep

The worn sticker on his shirt read, “Smile! It’s picture day” but Nate had more in mind than just smiling. “Can I have spiky hair for pictures?” he asked on the way home from after school. “And a tie?”

With both of these hopes, I made him happy with an immediate “we’ll see what we can do” and told him we’d need to test out the spiky do after dinner because I was worried that it was going to be too short.

Sadly for the little man, I was right. He went running for his daddy’s hair “glue” (what we lovingly call the pomade) after dinner and we tried to get his little locks to stand up. His face in the pictures shows how he want from hope to hurt, saddened that his hair just wouldn’t spike.


I reassured him that he looks so handsome and cute without the spikes and that we’ll still put some glue on his hair tomorrow if he wants. That made him feel better. He was also cool that the clip-on tie wouldn’t fly with the color of his shirt. I’m still surprised he didn’t ask to wear a Braves shirt – although he may try to sneak on his Braves armband. As long as he’s happy with his style and smile when the camera clicks. Can’t wait to see his first elementary school picture!

A Dawg Day

18 Sep

I’m so glad our good friends and University of Georgia graduates asked us to attend a football game at their Alma Mater. We’ve lived just 30 minutes from Sanford Stadium for the last five years and we are big football fans (even attending our hometown’s high school games) but never made any effort to enjoy a game in Athens. We finally did on Saturday as UGA took on Coastal Carolina and it made for a great memory.

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Go Dawgs!

The day began with a healthy amount of tailgating with some bring-your-own-portable-satellite-dish-and-tv pros. They even had a skillet plugged into a generator to make eggs and sausage and a margarita maker ready to serve. Andrew and Nate couldn’t be there for this part of it because Nate’s first t-ball game of the fall season happened that morning (they won 17 to 3!) but Nia and Camille made the most of it by exploring the wooded area near our tent, playing cards and propping their feet up while eating some pre-football fixins.

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Pepperoni Rolls & Propped Feet

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Go Fish on Football Saturday

The adults had our own dose of relaxin’ and fixins, including a tasty blue alcoholic beverage that Ginger concocted.

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Happy Ginger

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Blue Drink Cheers

The weather was beautiful for football but the sun and heat during the game made Nia and Nate duck for cover under our bleacher seats.

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Hiding from the Heat & Sun

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Nate Still Wants to Watch

True and tiny Dawg fan, Camille, didn’t want to miss any of the excitement and stayed above the seats to see the sights with her mom and dad.

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Mommy-Daughter Fans!

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Daddy-Daughter Dawg Watchers

The Dawgs went on to win 59-0 and Nate wanted the action to continue even after we left. Touchdown!

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Still Playing


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Taking the Time to Notice

11 Sep

She stood there, small and smiley, holding out a bulletin for the next person to take. So proud and happy to help her daddy hand them out after church. The people receiving them also seemed to smile a little brighter as they filed out because of her sweetness. Then, an older gentleman approached. He didn’t notice her there. He kept looking at Andrew to give him the paper. Completely understandable. Andrew is the one who is supposed to pass the bulletins out and Bean looked so tiny standing in the exodus of church-goers. When he finally saw her, he chuckled, said thank you and walked away with his weekly news. When we saw him a few minutes later, he was walking up to Bean to give her a doggie balloon animal. It seemed like he felt badly for not noticing her earlier – or maybe he just finds joy in sharing his talent of balloon animal art. Whatever the reason for the balloon, it made Bean very happy. I noticed.

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Book Fair Treasures

9 Sep

I love book fair time at the kids’ school. I am always so giddy when I know they are going to have fun treasures and beloved books to pull from their backpacks at the end of the day. Nia loves getting the cutsie erasers, bookmarkers and pretty pens as much as she loves choosing a new diary. (Her yearly book of choice.) This was Nate’s first year to shop for himself and I can’t say I’m surprised at his selection. I hope there is another in the spring – and that I can go too!

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Nia's Picks

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Nia's Fun Erasers

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Nate's Sweet Selection

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And then she asked about September 11th

8 Sep

I don’t like to talk about it. People share their stories about where they were – what they were doing – how they reacted – how it made them feel – and I think that’s fine. I just would rather not share. If asked, I will. But, if people are in a group and talking about it – I choose to listen. I think, what does it really matter? Where I was? Recently though, I’ve talked about it more than I have in the past 10 years.

The television station I used to work for asked if they could interview me (along with others who were working on that day) to talk about what it was like for us. Because I want to help my old station, I said sure. (Here is that interview.) My memory of my events on that day is blurry but I remember enough to talk a bit about it. It wasn’t until Nia asked me about it that I realized – I’m going to have to talk about this. But not about where I was and what I was doing – actually about it. The heartbreaking tragedies.

It began all because her school called and reminded us to wear red, white and blue for their Patriot Day recognition. She told me, “That’s because planes crashed into the obelisks in Washington D.C.” I asked her where she learned that and she said her teacher told the class about it. Say what you want about Georgia public education but I am sure her teacher did not have that wrong and said New York City. That was the way an 8-year-old heard what her teacher taught. Her teacher taught about the memorials along with the events – Nia heard what she heard.

I proceeded to tell Nia what happened, to make sure she understood. Four planes with many people on them crashed into two very tall buildings in New York City called the World Trade Center Twin Towers, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania. So many people died, Bean. So many. Here’s what happened during/after my explanation:

Five-year-old Nate was just getting out of the bath – he was chewing gum and was naked. He started blowing a whistle. Nia asked, “Didn’t the pilots see the buildings?”

I had to pause to think about how to tell her. “Well, you see, people who don’t like the United States, people call them terrorists, made the planes crash.”

Nate returns to blow the whistle, naked, after I just shooed him away. “Why didn’t the pilots tell them to go away?”

“Because the other people had things to hurt the pilots and took over.” In that same breath, I tell Nate to get dressed for the third time.

“Did everyone from the U.S. on the plane die?”
“Yes, baby, but there were more than just people from the U.S. on those planes and in those buildings.”

Nate, now getting dressed, chimes in with concern for the first time, “Did daddy die?”
“No, buddy, daddy’s not dead. But many families lost their daddies and mommies and even children in this.”

Nia adds a new thought, “Did the buildings break in half?”
“Kind of, yes. They collapsed.”
“Did they fall on other buildings near them and kill those people too?” Nia asks with more worry in her voice.
“Um, well, I’m not sure about that. There were so many people in those two big buildings, Bean. I don’t know about the nearby buildings.”
“How many?
“Thousands. How many are in your school?”
“Like, 800 or something.”
“Well, it would be almost four of your schools. That’s how many people died in those buildings.”
“Oh. My.”
Nate brings us back to kid speak, “What state were the buildings?”
“New York.”
“Spiderman lives in New York. Did he die too?”

No. You don’t get to read my response to that. Sigh.

I went from not wanting to talk about it, to really talking about it. Where were you when you told a child about it? I can’t even imagine the children who lost loved ones – or the ones who watched it happen. It’s so very difficult – and it hurts. I will never forget. Because of the loss and sadness – of course – but also because I think I’m going to be clarifying quite a few things with them over the years. I’m so – deeply – sorry.

Ten years on Sunday for many of us. Time has stopped for those who were just going about their daily lives at those places or had to say goodbye. I will remember.

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A Driver Wishlist – For Safety and Sanity

8 Sep

Putting aside the obvious and perpetual wish of never getting into a serious accident, may you:

Conveniently and safely stall on the side of the road and not in the fast lane on the interstate.

Be quickly and miraculously aided by a passing tow truck so you don’t have to wait for an hour (plus) on that side of the road.

Never get a flat tire while moving.

Never have to change that flat tire yourself. (Unless you really, really like changing flat tires on the side of the road.)

Always have the driver behind you who’s keeping a safe distance and paying attention in the purse-just-spilled-all-over-floor sudden braking scares.

Always have more than a quarter tank of gas and quarters in your console to pay for that unexpected toll booth.

Never get passed on the right – in an on/off ramp – by a lunatic driver. If you do though, may you pull up next to that lunatic driver at the stop light to give him/her a thumbs up and a smile for getting real far.

Never encounter someone with more dangerous road rage than you. (Especially after triggering it with the action above.)

Have plenty of windshield wiper fluid to remove the biggest of bug guts or bird droppings that just splat in your line of sight.

Only be entertained with three constant, forgotten blinkers a week. The – are you coming over? Yes? No? I’m going to  get in front of you and signal to nowhere to help you get a clue – moments can be fun. I especially love when the driver signals left but then merges right. Fun times.

Never – ever – get behind a man spitting sunflower seed shells out of his truck window at 60 mph. It was like a germy BB gun. Blech.

Never experience the grossest coffee of your life with 50 minutes still left to drive on a five to seven lane interstate.

At least once – have a dragonfly happily dance around your car as you inch it mile by mile forward in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Know the joys of driving barefoot. With one leg up on the seat. The windows down and no seeds, smoke or diesel smell ruining your fresh breeze. Oh yeah, and Madonna’s “Cherish” (or other happy song of choice) blasting from your car’s small speakers. And – of course – tasty coffee with a healthy side of all of the above.

 

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Beach, Boogie Boards, Brew and Buddies!

6 Sep

Our trip to Tybee Beach is now a week behind us but the memories are still as bright as our smiles were while we were there.

The Beach
Bean has always been our brave one when it comes to battling the waves. Nate, well, let’s just put it this way, when we told him we were going back to the beach, we didn’t get excitement and joy like we did from Nia – no – Nate actually started to cry a bit and said, “I don’t want to go!” We calmed him, assuring him that he could just chill on the sand.

As we walked out to the ocean for the first time this trip, we were prepared for the freak out fest – but he didn’t. In fact, the next day, he was running and playing in the calm low tide salt water pools – checking out a ton of tiny hermit crabs and throwing his Spiderman Scuba guy all over the water. All that helped him face the waves. He pumped himself up as he headed farther and farther out, “Natey, McNatey, you’re goin’ far now. Natey, McNatey, you’re doin’ it now.” And he did. By the time we were ready to leave for home, he was cruisin’ his newly purchased boogie board, just like his big sis.

Boogie Boards
Bean is a boogie boarding princess. She seriously could not get enough of surfing the waves. That also meant Andrew was exhausted because he was the one who helped her fight her way farther than Nate – or even I – would venture. (This all made my mom very nervous. Nate and I as well. Peas in a stress pod, us three.) Nia looked so grown up, smiling the whole time, as each wave she caught carried her closer to shore. She didn’t want to stop. I love her spirit, energy and bravery. Last year, a jellyfish got her good but you would never know it. I hope she always holds that strength – and carefree beach attitude – with her.

Brew Fest
During our time near Savannah, we also got to very much enjoy the annual Savannah Craft Brew Fest. We had tickets numbered 30 and 31. That’s how excited we were for this fest. Since Andrew’s been brewing his own beer and always appreciates a good brew, this was something he was really looking forward to. I was just ear to ear happy to be there with him on a date and with good friends and his sis surrounding us while we all sipped and laughed. (Thanks to Honey for spending the afternoon solo at the beach with the kiddos!)

As for Andrew’s favorite flavor, he says Cigar City’s Cubano Espresso and the Wild Heaven Brewing Co.’s Invocation Belgian Ale were at the top. He said the taste for both was unexpectedly good. He also enjoyed a cigar – that I actually kind of forced him to buy because he mentioned that one might be nice to have but then did his whole “neither here nor there” stance. Why not? It’s just one brew fest afternoon, after all.

My favorite sips would have to be either the Woodchuck Fall Limited Release Hard Cider or the Lagunitas Brewing Co.’s IPA. I mostly enjoyed just being there with some of my favorite people, across from beautiful downtown Savannah. A gorgeous view, brew and, yes, buds.

Buddies
It made my heart so happy to see former co-workers and my old boss at WSAV. I’m not going to lie – I teared up a little seeing that newsroom that I spent so much of my life in. Heck, both of my babies were nurtured in my belly in that place – complete with the food from the fast food joints nearby it. It was so great getting to see them and they made me feel right at home. Great memories there. Where I grew up.


Our trip to Tybee wouldn’t be complete without our fix of seeing our dear friends, the Heidels. I wish we could have spent more time together but I’m so very thankful to have the brew fest hours and Sunday beach time with them. Miss Camille is such a sweetie and it was so fun watching her bury her dinosaurs in the sand. We were also spoiled to share in Ginger’s leftover football fixins. Can you say stuffed mushrooms? Buffalo chicken awesomeness? Even without that food and the constant great conversation we share, they are all always loved and missed like family.

We also got super lucky to see our good friend Paul and Matt, Shirley and Avery Fischer. We always cherish our time with Paul and my mom loved to have him as a porch buddy, enjoying an ocean view and excellent conversation. Meanwhile, Nia and Avery were picking up right where they left off a year ago. They were born to be buds and it’s even more awesome that we parents like each other too!

Beach time near Savannah also means getting to hug and squeeze our nieces, Ellanor and Magdalene. They got to sleep over and it was a blast! I love how the four cousins play so well together. They had some short beach time and spent a lot of condo time drawing pictures and chomping on popcorn. They couldn’t be happier!

I’m also so thankful my mom said yes to the stress-inducing layover flights (in rough weather no less). She loved sitting on the porch and watching the kids enjoy the ocean from her beach chair under the umbrella (when she wasn’t worried about their safety!). She also knows how to souvenir shop and braved a plate of crusty critters with me. (We laughed and gagged the whole way through.) I couldn’t ask for a cooler, more caring mom. Thanks, Lady. I love you lots.

Hope to see you next year, Tybee – with all the perks!

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