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Breeding Homework Haters?

24 Aug

I’m sure there are not many of us who will say they actually enjoyed doing homework. I’m not saying we didn’t have projects, assignments or subjects that we enjoyed occasionally or more than others. I just think finding many homework lovers would be hard to do.

As of now, Nia is a homework liker. She will work on it as soon as she can after school – even voluntarily doing the extra credit section at the bottom of the page that the teacher didn’t assign. Homework in Second Grade isn’t that time-consuming, extremely complicated (for her anyway – for me, it’s a different story!) or disagreeable. It’s spelling words, math word problems, comprehension and grammar. Nia doesn’t mind it. She does it because she’s supposed to. Because it will help her learn. Because she gets check pluses and smiley faces on her paper. She hasn’t learned to hate it – yet.

I’m afraid the negativity around it may soon start to grow because of a new reward system by her teacher. Apparently, the students are divided up in groups and they get blue strips for things they do well. When they get five, they members of the group get to skip a night of homework.

On the surface, it seems like a good way to encourage good behavior and productivity in the classroom. When I think about it though, I feel it could teach students to consider a night without homework as a good thing. After all, it’s being billed that way.

I told Nia I think it would be a great idea and beneficial to her brain if she does the homework even though she wouldn’t have to. She was actually excited about it, adding, “Maybe we’ll get another reward for me doing that!”

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Nia and “Selena”

21 Aug

Selena Gomez (an actress on Disney Channel’s “Wizards of Waverly Place“) has cast a cute spell on our little girl. Nia loves her show and her music and is now even calling one of her other dolls, Selena. I just wanted to capture all that has been Nia and Selena over the past week.

Selena comes with us on errands or entertainment outings. She came with us to the movies and sat next to Nia on the arm of the chair – enjoying “Ramona and Beezus.”

Selena is the music artist of choice anytime we are in the car.

Selena joins us for breakfast. (Finally, someone is eating slower than Nia!) She was served a pancake and a smoothie. Mysteriously, she made a happy plate and cup.

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Just Say No to Silly Bandz but Enjoy a Coke

17 Aug

I’m not in school anymore yet I feel like I’m being tested. I’m sure my answers will be wrong – especially from an educator’s point of view – but as the always-being-educated I have to try to comprehend the logic.

I understand and sympathize with the need for teachers to maintain acceptable behavior and keep their classrooms free of distraction to provide an optimal learning environment for children. However, I’m concerned what some tactics may be teaching students.

Schools ban things all the time because of the hoopla the outlawed items cause. I never questioned it until getting a letter about what the teachers call “overpriced, colorful, plastic rubber band bracelets” or Silly Bandz. Apparently, the bracelets cause quite a raucous. The teachers say kids with them trade and fight over them. The kids without them covet them. To settle the situation, the Silly Bandz have been banned. (Other schools have also banned them.)

I understand this may be the most efficient way to solve the issue, but what about the teachable moments? I don’t believe that teachers should parent the children but I do believe children learn how to behave appropriately in society while they are in school – learning how to work through differences, jealousy and maybe even a criminal act (a student swiping another Bandz). Instead, the teachable moment is removed. Don’t like something? Ban it.

One thing that’s not being banned – despite the feelings of envy other students may feel – is the weekly reward of a bottle of Coke.

Nia’s teacher uses the refreshing beverage as a reward for the students with the most green strips at the end of the week. Now, I’m not a super health nut or anything. We let our kids eat junk. It just had my mind going because it’s not a secret about the health concern of sodas in schools. Also, this now means my child, who rarely gets caffeine (and when she does it’s like 5 ounces) now consumes 12 ounces of sugary, caffeinated yum in the middle of the day. Because I’m thinking the sodas are an inexpensive and desirable treat for the teacher and students, I’m not bothered enough to express my questions to the teacher. But I suppose I could always request Nia get a non-caffeinated beverage instead. After all, she’ll be getting one every week.  (Said like a super snobby mommy.)

The funny thing? Nia gets the Cokes but she never did wear her Silly Bandz to school when she was allowed. Maybe those teachers are on to something – no Bandz must mean better behavior. Lesson learned.

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Sweet-n-Sour Siblings

14 Aug

I will always be amazed at the way siblings interact with each other. I’m a sibling. I have many friends/relatives who have siblings. I even birthed a pair.

How can we go from hot to cold in a matter of seconds? Fighting with each other one minute and then holding each other tight the next. I know some siblings don’t work that way – some don’t speak to each other at all – so I guess I should be thankful that, so far, Nia and Nate seem to have the sweet and sour part perfected.

Some of the sour includes:

  • Instant tattling – no matter what the offense. Look at each other mean? Tattle. Didn’t brush teeth long enough? Tattle. Elbows on the table while we are sitting right next to the offender? Tattle.
  • Intensely competitive – even if it’s just who gets to the sink first to wash hands. One of them has to beat the other. When that other loses, he/she immediately accuses the winner of not being fair or cheating. The Wii really gets them firing fighting words at each other.
  • Speaking of fighting, remember Nate’s punch that knocked out Nia’s tooth? There was also a time when Nate ripped a handful of hair out of Nia’s head. And once when Nia shoved Nate’s noggin into the wall. I think that’s it for now. I’m sure there will be more though.
  • Remote control hogs – they hardly ever agree on what to watch.
  • They live to annoy each other. Whether it’s Nia touching Nate’s head, putting her foot on him or Nate standing in the way of the tv, they don’t stop the annoying behavior until an adult steps in and even then it lingers.

I like to believe all of this sweet outweighs the sour:

  • They usually “take one for the team” – Nia swiped some cauliflower off of Nate’s plate to help him eat it because she knows he’s not a big fan. She even took food right out of her mouth for him (yes, gross) – a half-eaten lollipop. He didn’t hesitate to crunch into it.
  • Nate can be chivalrous at times – letting Nia use his special blankey if she’s cold and telling her she looks pretty when she’s dressed fancy.
  • Nia can be Nate’s biggest cheerleader (when they aren’t competing against each other) and Nate loved to watch his big sister shine on stage at her dance recital. I’ve even heard them exchange a “good job” from time to time.
  • They can be great sharers when they want to be – Nia offers Nate her toys and Nate will offer his Memory game match as a trade if he knows it’s a pair Nia would like. (She always wants to trade for the “girl” cards.)
  • They giggle and crack each other up when no one else knows why they’re laughing – speaking a special language only they understand.
  • They take care of each other – holding hands when crossing the street or parking lot and Nia helping Nate to tie his shoes.
  • I’m pretty sure I’ve witnessed more hugs then hits. (Makes my heart so happy!)

I hope this mix of the sweet and sour doesn’t lean too much any one way. Balance is important and besides, the challenges keeps things interesting and teaches them to deal with different situations/personalities.

Then again, more of the sweet would be nice.

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The Happy Faces, Boos and Memorables of the First Week

9 Aug

As I type this, the kids are sleeping like a bag of snakes (how their Papa Dave describes their extreme tossing and turning), ready to start their second week of Second Grade and Pre-K. The first week was great but there were a few speed bumps.

Ready for School!

First the happy faces:

  • Nia loves her teacher and is happy to have friends she knows from last year in her class.
  • Nate had a wonderful first week, scoring four blue days and one green. (Blue is the best and green is good. Yellow and red days mean sad face.)
  • Nia is excited to be back with her buddies at after-school.
  • Nate made it through the week without his blankey. He’s been pretty much carrying it around with him since birth. This is a milestone.
  • Nia aced her first spelling test and we received the results that she got incredible “exceeding” scores on her CRCT from last year.

Now, for the boos:

  • A little boy made Nia feel bad when he said she was “too little” to be in their classroom. Andrew says there will be a time when that kid will be begging for tiny girl to like him. So there, dude.
  • The Georgia Pre-K program revoked the funding for Nate’s school due to complications I can’t comprehend which means hardships for his school, our weekly fee goes up and others who weren’t supposed to pay will either scramble to find somewhere else, remove their child from Pre-K or struggle to pay. We are worried and praying for all involved.
  • Another child threw a rock and left a lump on Nate’s noggin.

And finally, some of the memorable:

  • One of the t-shirts I matched with a cute skirt was actually a pj top. I didn’t realize this until Nia told me she bragged to one of her friends, “I’m wearing my pj’s to school!” Great. It totally did not look like a pj shirt!
  • Nate insisted on wearing his “fast pants” every day because his the little girl he has a crush on would like them.
  • Nia says this year’s homework is going to be tough – not “easy” like it was in First Grade.
  • There’s a little boy who just stares at Nia. He doesn’t talk to her. Just stares. She says, “He’s just shy.” We’ll see.

Fingers crossed that the pros and memorables will outweigh the boos in the coming weeks!

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No Crayola? Not Cool.

27 Jul

The season of school supply shopping is here. The kids start back to school in less than a week so we were forced to deal with side-by-side shoppers sifting through the special displays, slim pickings and deciphering the supply lists from the teachers. (I usually end up with one or two things that I can never match to their lists.)

This year, I had more on my mind than just successfully checking off the list in one trip. I started to think about whether Nia will be judged by other kids based off what folder, notebook or brand name crayon she had in her desk. Yes. I worry about a lot of stuff, a lot.

She wanted (and got) a Barbie folder. I couldn’t help but wonder, is that ok for a second grader to sport? I don’t know what’s cool and even if I did, should it matter? I know it shouldn’t but I also want to eliminate as many obstacles as possible from her new school year. I remember things like brand name clothes and sneakers being status symbols when I was in school. Even if you’re decked out in some GAP, Hollister or whatever’s cool these days, I tend to believe the in-crowd kids will still find something to pick on others about. I guess that’s more of a reason not to care. Andrew actually had the opposite concern, he was worried her Barbie/fancy school loot would make other children feel bad because they want horses and cats to hold their homework as well.

Just to be safe, I grabbed some plain purple folders too.

Cool Enough/Too Cool for School?

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All for Her

26 Jul

He picks out his clothes for school based off what she’d like. (“I want to wear my Braves shirt because she likes the Braves.”)

He also dresses to impress her.  (“I’m gonna wear my fast pants to show her how fast I run in them.”)

He draws pictures for her and no one else.  (I asked for one and he said no.)

It seems our baby boy is smitten with a little girl at his school. While I think it’s adorable and I approve of the young lady (Nia says she is her best friend at Nate’s school), I just worry about this part – he told us they have “sneaked” a smooch.

Now, Andrew and I told him all that we are supposed to tell him as parents about this. He’s too young to be smooching anyone, it’s not proper to do such things at his age or in school and he’ll get germs.  (No, not cooties! Germs! Well, I guess there’s really not a difference, huh?) I even said that I didn’t think her parents would like that and that he could get in trouble at school. Nia then added, “I don’t even do that and I’m older!”

Maybe we’re over-reacting, I don’t know. I just want him to be respectful and not feel like it’s ok to plant one on others whenever he wants. I suppose I also want him to stay little and unknowing of such things for as long as possible.

As a compromise, I told him no more sneaking and no more smooching but that he could give her a hug. I actually think I like Nia’s idea better though. She suggested he just blow her a kiss.

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“Mini-Me”

22 Jul

Many kids look like one of their parents. Resemblance among family members is a pretty common thing. You hear things like, “You have your mother’s smile.” “… your dad’s ears.” “… your grandpa’s balding pattern.” What Nia hears is a little different.

Strangers sometimes act floored when they see us together. One of our CVS clerks can’t get enough of how much we look alike. When Nia isn’t with me at the store, the clerk asks where my “mini-me” is and then proceeds to announce to her coworkers, “her little girl looks JUST like her!”

Sure, I can see a resemblance but I also see her. I see Nia. Not me. She is uniquely and adorably herself and it’s hard for me to believe I could be as precious. When she hears, “You look just like your momma,” what does she feel? Right now, probably nothing. But what about when she gets older? What if she grows to resent it?

I also never know how to react to people’s reactions. I respond politely. I thank them. Tell them my genes beat my husband’s. Smile. Then, I turn to Nia and say, “You look like you. Don’t you Sweets?” Beautiful, beautiful Bean.

Mommy & Bean

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Ninja Warrior In-Training

18 Jul

Apparently, I missed the parenting memo that said it’s ok to scale the furniture if your son is “being a Ninja Warrior.” (It’s an obstacle course tv show that Nate watches with Andrew.)

I caught Nate climbing over the back of the couch tonight and quickly corrected him. He replied, “But I’m being a Ninja Warrior, mommy.” His daddy thought his feat and response to me should be praised. Andrew gave a big laugh and told Nate, “I love you buddy. You know that? I love you.”

Yes. It was beyond precious. It stole my heart. I’m just afraid of what’s in store for Nate’s safety, the furniture and how far the training will go.

Scaling the house is off-limits.

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I used to write a sex column…

17 Jul

so why am I such a prude and conservative when it comes to certain things? Those things all involve the upbringing of children in the areas of sex and violence.

Let’s start with what sells – sex. It’s fantastic, right? Talking about it, thinking about it, watching it, having it. Great stuff, that sex. I just am finding it difficult to deal with how even the most common children’s cartoons demonstrate sexual attraction. What Nate is learning by watching these cartoons is that when he sees a pretty lady he’s supposed to call her hot, whistle, pop his eyes out of his head, make that arooga noise and pant. I know male cartoon characters have been portrayed like that since before our parents were kids but I find it, well, STUPID. I can tell Nate, it’s not the best idea to act that way when you see a beautiful girl but if popular culture says it’s ok, does my small voice matter?

The same is true for violence or how anger is handled on tv, movies, music or even during a skit at a baseball game. Someone make you mad? Give ’em a knuckle sandwich, push them down, kick ’em where it counts, play a nasty trick on them and call them names the whole time. I counter with a, “That’s not nice, is it? Here’s what you should do instead…” But again, how long will my voice win over what they continually see as acceptable behavior? Heck, sometimes the fighting is cheered. Yay! Go get ’em!

I find myself even having to correct commercials now. For example, it’s not nice to stick your tongue out at people. Right? This mom says so and it took some time for us to get that through to Nate. When we finally did, what do we see? A mini-van commercial where a little boy outsmarts some other kids then sticks his tongue out at them. That little tongue-sticker-outer is the “good” kid. Great.

It is my responsibility to raise my children to the best of my ability. I take that on wholeheartedly. I do not expect movies, cartoons, commercials or songs to teach my children proper behavior and I don’t want to shelter my children from them. I just wish they didn’t contradict me all the time. I guess my cartoon would be pretty boring.

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