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But He Loves Me

16 Sep

He is Caleb. He’s been her buddy since Kindergarten. He seems like a nice, young man. He makes her laugh. He asks her if she’s ok when she cries. Caleb.

I never would’ve found out that Nia and Caleb had moved from like to love (that’s what she tells me – that she loves him and he loves her) if it wasn’t for her trying to quickly get the “I love Nia” note from her backpack. She didn’t want to show me at first because she thought I was going to be concerned. When I told her it was ok, she allowed me into her love life and handed me the note, grinning. I told her it was sweet and that it was cute that he gave her a note. I also told her that I hoped they would still be friends even when he doesn’t write her notes anymore. She said, “But he will, momma. He loves me.”

Sweet girl, I’m sure he does. I’m sure he does.

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Daddy Do All

12 Sep

It’s a quote I’ll never forget. Our young neighbors said with a smile, “Mr. Andrew’s always trying to help somebody.” They couldn’t be more right and I hope they and our children will someday try to do the same thing.

Whether it’s killing a bug for me, running through the house and down a flight of steps to catch a screaming Nate hanging from the monkey bars, taking my car to get gas in the middle of leisure time, carrying all the groceries upstairs in one trip after he did the shopping because I didn’t feel like it, cooking dinner for us or fixing my car – I could never thank Andrew enough for all the ways he helps us and makes us feel protected and loved.

Like the kids said, he even makes every effort to help others. When it snowed here and our neighbors got stuck, Andrew ran up the hill with carpet pieces to throw under their tires. He’s given other neighbors a lift when they needed to go to the store, cut their grass, pushed a stranger’s stalled car off of a busy street, handed other strangers in the checkout line money when he saw they were short on cash and – one of my favorite kind acts – is that he never takes the closest parking spot because he says someone else who needs it more should have it.

Yes. I am totally bragging and it’s not the first time. Last year, I told the tale of the Knight in Starched Khakis and how he helped a stranded family in need. I can’t help but brag. I really love my friend. He’s a good influence and I wish others were as considerate as he is.

Just today he did two more things that compelled me to collect all these positives. He played ball with Nate while sitting on the couch still watching football and enjoying his adult beverage. Why is this nice to me? Because I appreciate that he still participates with us even when he really wants to watch his Denver Broncos for a few minutes.

Today, he also jumped in front of a hit baseball to keep it from hitting our pregnant friend in the stomach. The ball was coming pretty fast and left a mark on his arm so we are so thankful he blocked it. Despite the save, he was still upset with himself for not actually catching it. (The picture below doesn’t really capture it but you can kind of see the stitches from the ball.)

Andrew, I’m so grateful and inspired because you always try to help everyone. I just hope we’ll be there when you need it.

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A Jug Tavern Festival is Just Right for Kids

11 Sep

It just sounds so wrong though. How could it be ok to take a seven and four-year-old to an event bearing such a name? Well, consider it one of those don’t judge a book lessons. Apparently, the name has nothing to do with alcohol or slang for female parts.

Fest Flying


Even so, I didn’t really care. It was a community shindig and we dig those. This one offered all the usuals – some bouncy things, pony rides, balloon animals (that popped before Nate got his to the car), shaved ice (that made a sticky mess when it spilled in the car), funnel cake, live music, overpriced but “awesome” kid entertainment (the kids loved flying high in the air), arts and crafts and tasty BBQ. That BBQ is what makes this festival a little different than those usuals though.

People from all over have set up fort here for a National BBQ Cook-Off. They’ve parked their suped-up RVs on the grounds, complete with satellite dishes sticking out of five-gallon buckets. The scenes surrounding the RVs were impressive. Some had TVs displaying a football game and others had tables and portable kitchens where older men prepped their pride and joy for the competition. All of them had massive smokers, pits and grills filled with various meat soaking in a secret sauce or dry rub. The smell of deliciousness hovered over the festival, making stomachs growl, mouths water and Nia and Nate worry about all the smoke. “Mommy! That smoke cloud is coming right to us!”

Seems kid-friendly enough for me.

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Facebook vs. Face-to-Face

8 Sep

I don’t think my friends “fake it” on Facebook and even if they do, how is that any different than what they do face-to-face?

My question comes after reading the mommy blog article, The New “Keeping Up with the Joneses”. If you don’t feel like reading it, here’s a snippet of my takeaway of the article:

Many people only post happy things on Facebook even when they have bad things to share as well. They don’t mention the fight they had with the hubs, the nightmare of a weekend trip they had, the terrible way they talked to their kids that day or the horrifying thing their child did at school. They only tell you about the smiles, love, hugs, kisses, presents and blessings. All of the life-is-swell updates often make others feel inferior.

I think the writer makes good points (and I agree with the sentiment) but I think the situation is not really a new thing and it’s not just like this because of social media.

How many of our friends tell us all the dirt that happens in their lives to our faces? There are plenty who will never share the negative experiences with another soul outside of their family. Whether they’re on their nightly walk with you, grabbing a coffee with you or Facebooking around the clock, they only shine a happy light on their lives. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

On the flip side, there are some friends who never have a positive thing to tell you or Facebook about. They seem to always be negative or surrounded by drama. If the ones who are always sunshine and happiness make us feel bad about ourselves, should the ones who are followed by a storm cloud make us feel better about ourselves?

What about the friends who over-share and T.M.I. us until we can never un-hear what we’ve heard? (Some wouldn’t want it any other way!) Those friends, like all of them, exist in our Facebook world and our face-to-face world. They just make me feel less entertaining. Man. I hate trying to keep up with the brave and funny ones.

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Surf, Sting, Sleepover and Some Other Super Stuff

6 Sep

Surf

Our recent trip to the beach showed us our children view the whole surf and sand experience very differently. We couldn’t get Nia out of the water and it took forever for Nate to finally get into the water. (Or even close to it.) Nate didn’t even want the “mud” on him.  (That’s what he called wet sand.)

Instead, for a large chunk of three days, he worked up the nerve to run lightning quick in the shallowest of water, cried some, chased and fed birds, built a few castles, played his video game and then, eventually – toward the end of our time – tackled and conquered his fear of the water.

Beach Beauty

Beached Boy

Cool Wave Rider

Brave, Unbeached Boy

Sting

As the pictures above show, our beach beauty couldn’t get enough of the waves. Even a nasty jellyfish sting didn’t keep her sidelined for long. A lifeguard saw Andrew carrying her as though something was wrong and gave us some “Jellyfish Squish” spray. The sting beached her for a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels and that’s about it. She went right back in the water and acted like we were making too big of a fuss out of it.

Sweets Gets Stung

Chocolate Makes It All Better

Sleepover

This adventure marked the first time Nia and Nate shared a room. It featured two twin beds and a television that was almost as big of a deal as the beach. (They don’t have tv’s in their rooms.) The first night was a bit of a challenge for all of us. We let them watch some tv but then after that we heard quite a bit of commotion and then Nate came crying out of the room. When all the drama was calm, he informed us he had been building a “bridge” from his bed to Nia’s bed when he slipped and hurt himself on the bed. It’s all fun and games until …

Nate's Bed Bridge

Some Other Super Stuff

This beach trip also offered some great quality time with friends and a first for Nate.

We had such a wonderful time visiting with the Heidel family, who sacrificed their college’s opening weekend football game to spend Saturday at the beach with us. (Did I mention they are great friends?)

Snacks are better with buds at the beach.

After a day at the beach, we enjoyed dinner, drinks and caught a few innings of the Savannah Sand Gnats’ game. This is where Nate’s first comes in. He’s never seen a professional fireworks show before. This weekend though, he experienced two of them. One after the Gnats’ game and the other while sitting on the beach in celebration of the Labor Day weekend.

Enjoying the Fireworks

Nia also got a very special treat. One of her bestest buds ever, Miss Avery, visited us. Nia and Avery were basically born to be friends. Exactly a month apart, they were side by side crib mates at daycare and became inseparable until we moved away. The time and miles apart have not hurt their friendship at all. They picked up right where they left off and immediately began playing pretend “iCarly” while hitting the waves.

Reunited Friends

Our mini-vacation to the beach was so nice and memorable, Andrew was already, seriously, asking when we could go back. Nate, on the other hand, was ready to head home. Nia was just fine whatever we decided (as long as she’s getting a souvenir or two). Me? Well, I’m happy just making memories with them – even if one of them involves a jellyfish.

Happy Beach Fam

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One Decade Down

2 Sep

When we told Nia we’d be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary today, she accurately and adorably pointed out, “Your marriage is older than me!” Sure, it’s not as old as others but I still think our years have a lot of stories to tell.

  • We were separated more than we were together during the first three years of our marriage but we made it work. I was a loner in Savannah while the Army had Andrew on months of training in California, an overseas mission in Kosovo and a war in Iraq. Even when we were at the same address, our job schedules kept us apart. He spoiled me by chauffeuring me 40+ miles for my weekend producing job, just so we could spend more time.
  • The time apart in the military also meant we’d be apart for Nia’s birth. It was too much for both of us and Andrew decided a civilian life was best for our family life. I know that decision was so very difficult – I’ve always felt he was born to lead and he was such an awesome soldier – I am forever grateful.
  • From Army Captain to Best Buy Sales Manager, career number two kept Andrew close to us but still wasn’t ideal for him or us. Career number three was. So much so, baby number two came into our lives.
  • Nate’s birth was so special for both of us because we got to experience it together. We didn’t find out what we were having. We both wanted it that way. (We found out with Nia because we wanted to make sure he knew while at war – just in case.) Nate’s birth had complications and an emergency c-section was necessary. Andrew didn’t waver and I will never forget the moment we shared when the doctor told us everything was ok and that we were having a boy.
  • Soon after we became a family of four, the third career offered Andrew a promotion and a relocation. This change meant I could be a stay-at-home mom while he brought home the bacon. It was wonderful until it came to an end with a layoff. It may sound odd but this is probably one of my most cherished times together. Who would think a layoff would bring such happiness? Sure, we were concerned but we both looked at it as an opportunity and a chance to spend some quality family time together. We encouraged each other as we both looked for jobs and never took ourselves too seriously. We loved to watch the movie “Fun with Dick and Jane” – quoting it and seeing the hilariously sad reality in it. (Never getting any ideas, of course.)
  • After only a few weeks of unemployment, we both found great jobs (career four for Andrew, two for me) but it meant a big adjustment to our family. Nate would now need to go to daycare again. Nia would need to go to after school. We conquered this together and continue to work hard at it.

There are so many other challenges and adventures we’ve experienced together but through it all we’ve taught each other so much. How to take better care of one another. How to be a team. How to best deal with my paranoia and worrying issues. How to not fight because there are crumbs on the counter, empty cups around the house or other quirks. How to try to be a parent.

I know the coming years are going to continue to try us and to teach us. With Andrew as my partner, best friend, favorite and love, I can’t wait. Besides, I figure he’s stuck with me for another five or six decades. Then, we’ll really be older than Nia.

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Sick Days

28 Aug

Nate recently had a run-in with some germs. The germs were unwelcome but the sick days together were not. I cherish the time we got to spend together and the memories that were made.

  • I learned that while many kids say boy and boat starts with the letter B, Nate prefers to use baseball teams to learn his sounds and letters. “Braves and Brewers start with B!”
  • Nate is perfectly content watching baseball highlights on “Quick Pitch” over and over again – even if it’s repeats. I actually think he likes it more because he feels proud knowing what’s going to happen.
  • Even when he’s sick, he tries to act out baseball. I told him he wasn’t allowed to run so he walked. Then, I noticed he wasn’t in the living room and that his bedroom door was closed. When I opened it, I found him with his Braves hat and glove on, lying on his belly with his gloved arm stretched out like he just dove to catch a ball. He looked so guilty and hilarious.
  • The boy can play the board game “Memory” continually. He is awesome at it. A champion. (And I am trying to win.)
  • He is such a comforting cuddler.

Sicky, Sleepy Boy

I’m glad Na-Nate is feeling better and hated he was sick but I also can’t help be a little thankful for the precious time we spent together.

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It’s none of my business but…

21 Aug

Every morning, he emerges from his house with one thing on his mind. The older man, who always wears a smile on his face and offers a wave to neighbors, walks to his backyard and begins inspecting his beautiful flowering plants that line his property. He cares for each one patiently and thoroughly, making sure they are pruned and watered. He loves them and it shows.

Now, his precious plants are being crowded and possibly threatened. The new neighbor behind him is building a fence. Practically right on top of them.

Does he have the right? Sure, if he obtained the proper permit and permission from the homeowners’ association. Does that mean it is right? I say no.

I’m heartbroken for him. It just seems so inconsiderate and in your face. I would have at least talked to the man about it before putting up the posts. I asked him if he was told about it. He gave me a very disappointed no.

Funny thing is, I think the fence will be nice for our block, providing some more privacy. I still can’t help think that it is not worth it though. A man’s feelings should mean more than another man’s privacy fence.

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Just Say No to Silly Bandz but Enjoy a Coke

17 Aug

I’m not in school anymore yet I feel like I’m being tested. I’m sure my answers will be wrong – especially from an educator’s point of view – but as the always-being-educated I have to try to comprehend the logic.

I understand and sympathize with the need for teachers to maintain acceptable behavior and keep their classrooms free of distraction to provide an optimal learning environment for children. However, I’m concerned what some tactics may be teaching students.

Schools ban things all the time because of the hoopla the outlawed items cause. I never questioned it until getting a letter about what the teachers call “overpriced, colorful, plastic rubber band bracelets” or Silly Bandz. Apparently, the bracelets cause quite a raucous. The teachers say kids with them trade and fight over them. The kids without them covet them. To settle the situation, the Silly Bandz have been banned. (Other schools have also banned them.)

I understand this may be the most efficient way to solve the issue, but what about the teachable moments? I don’t believe that teachers should parent the children but I do believe children learn how to behave appropriately in society while they are in school – learning how to work through differences, jealousy and maybe even a criminal act (a student swiping another Bandz). Instead, the teachable moment is removed. Don’t like something? Ban it.

One thing that’s not being banned – despite the feelings of envy other students may feel – is the weekly reward of a bottle of Coke.

Nia’s teacher uses the refreshing beverage as a reward for the students with the most green strips at the end of the week. Now, I’m not a super health nut or anything. We let our kids eat junk. It just had my mind going because it’s not a secret about the health concern of sodas in schools. Also, this now means my child, who rarely gets caffeine (and when she does it’s like 5 ounces) now consumes 12 ounces of sugary, caffeinated yum in the middle of the day. Because I’m thinking the sodas are an inexpensive and desirable treat for the teacher and students, I’m not bothered enough to express my questions to the teacher. But I suppose I could always request Nia get a non-caffeinated beverage instead. After all, she’ll be getting one every week.  (Said like a super snobby mommy.)

The funny thing? Nia gets the Cokes but she never did wear her Silly Bandz to school when she was allowed. Maybe those teachers are on to something – no Bandz must mean better behavior. Lesson learned.

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Sweet-n-Sour Siblings

14 Aug

I will always be amazed at the way siblings interact with each other. I’m a sibling. I have many friends/relatives who have siblings. I even birthed a pair.

How can we go from hot to cold in a matter of seconds? Fighting with each other one minute and then holding each other tight the next. I know some siblings don’t work that way – some don’t speak to each other at all – so I guess I should be thankful that, so far, Nia and Nate seem to have the sweet and sour part perfected.

Some of the sour includes:

  • Instant tattling – no matter what the offense. Look at each other mean? Tattle. Didn’t brush teeth long enough? Tattle. Elbows on the table while we are sitting right next to the offender? Tattle.
  • Intensely competitive – even if it’s just who gets to the sink first to wash hands. One of them has to beat the other. When that other loses, he/she immediately accuses the winner of not being fair or cheating. The Wii really gets them firing fighting words at each other.
  • Speaking of fighting, remember Nate’s punch that knocked out Nia’s tooth? There was also a time when Nate ripped a handful of hair out of Nia’s head. And once when Nia shoved Nate’s noggin into the wall. I think that’s it for now. I’m sure there will be more though.
  • Remote control hogs – they hardly ever agree on what to watch.
  • They live to annoy each other. Whether it’s Nia touching Nate’s head, putting her foot on him or Nate standing in the way of the tv, they don’t stop the annoying behavior until an adult steps in and even then it lingers.

I like to believe all of this sweet outweighs the sour:

  • They usually “take one for the team” – Nia swiped some cauliflower off of Nate’s plate to help him eat it because she knows he’s not a big fan. She even took food right out of her mouth for him (yes, gross) – a half-eaten lollipop. He didn’t hesitate to crunch into it.
  • Nate can be chivalrous at times – letting Nia use his special blankey if she’s cold and telling her she looks pretty when she’s dressed fancy.
  • Nia can be Nate’s biggest cheerleader (when they aren’t competing against each other) and Nate loved to watch his big sister shine on stage at her dance recital. I’ve even heard them exchange a “good job” from time to time.
  • They can be great sharers when they want to be – Nia offers Nate her toys and Nate will offer his Memory game match as a trade if he knows it’s a pair Nia would like. (She always wants to trade for the “girl” cards.)
  • They giggle and crack each other up when no one else knows why they’re laughing – speaking a special language only they understand.
  • They take care of each other – holding hands when crossing the street or parking lot and Nia helping Nate to tie his shoes.
  • I’m pretty sure I’ve witnessed more hugs then hits. (Makes my heart so happy!)

I hope this mix of the sweet and sour doesn’t lean too much any one way. Balance is important and besides, the challenges keeps things interesting and teaches them to deal with different situations/personalities.

Then again, more of the sweet would be nice.

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