Much Better

23 Sep

Because it smells clean, is it?  The want-to-be-normal side of me says sure – why not?  The paranoid-germ-o-phobe side of me says the nice smell is just covering up something gross.  No matter – the smell and look of this hotel room makes it WORLDS better than the one we stayed at two weeks ago.

Something that appeared (I hoped) was chocolate was splattered on the wall –
Crumbs/bottle caps/barbie shoes/hair clips covered the carpet in places –
Some sort of black crud that Nia called poopie lurked under the rim of the shower –
Several stains of who knows what were accenting the couch designs –

The first night there I actually cried about how disgusting the place was.  I cried because I was so upset at myself for worrying so much about it.  Andrew felt awful.  (He spent a lot of time trying to find a hotel that allowed dogs and offered two adjoining rooms so we could veg together like we’re used to while the kids slept.)  He said we could leave but we had just got everything in the room and it was really late – I wasn’t going to go that far – instead I ended up going just about a block away from that far.

I bought:

  • Comet to scrub the tub
  • Disinfecting wipes to remove any spot I saw and clean anything my kids touched
  • One of those new sticky broom things to collect the crap on the floor

I also made Andrew buy two blankets – one so I would feel better when Nia sat on the couch- another so I would feel better when Nate crawled on the floor.  I even built a barricade of sorts around the blanket so there was no way his hands touched the carpet.

I know – I’m a freak. Even when we got home I continued to drive Andrew nuts with my worrying.  He came up to me and said “Why are the bags in the hall?  I had already put them in the bedroom.”  Knowing he would seriously wonder if he needed to get me professional help if I told him why I replied, “You don’t even want to know.”  “Oh, come on,” he said.  “Well, I heard that bedbugs can travel and I didn’t want the bags next to our bed just in case.”

Now comes the best line from Andrew – “Should I burn the bags?”

Of course, that didn’t happen – but it was tempting to me.  Instead, we packed up those same bags last night and are now at another hotel – a much cleaner hotel.  At least it smells that way.

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But Why?

21 Sep

I can’t believe this has already started.  I mean I knew it would, just about everyone goes through it, I just thought it would happen a little later in the growing-up years.

Driving home on Abercorn tonight Nia was looking through a toy magazine.  This, of course, is dangerous because she says she wants 85% of the goodies in it.  (She favors the princess/barbie/pretend play toys.)

Her telling me to look back at her as she points out everything she wants wasn’t the milestone that made me throw my head back and let out a groan of exhaustion/amusement – it was this…

“Look momma, Elmo!”
“Uh-huh – he’s so cute huh?”
“You’re not looking momma.”
“Nia, honey, momma’s gotta drive – I can’t look back at you – if I do we might boo-boo the car – ok?”
“Ok.  Momma – he’s in a box.  Why is he in a box?”
“Because that’s how he comes.”
“But why?”
“Um – he has to come that way.”
“Buy why?”
“Ah – (as I’m trying to avoid hitting a car that decided it was going to brake hard before merging into the turning lane without a signal) because it keeps him safe.”
“Can I have him?”
“Remember I told you yesterday that Santa might bring him for you.” (what she doesn’t know is that Aunt Sissy and Uncle Brian Santa already have him at their workshop!)
“Santa will bring him tomorrow?”
“No – not tomorrow – at Christmas.”
“But why?”
“Because we have to wait – this is only September – we still have to have October, November and December.  Then in December is -”
“Santa!”
“Well – yes – Santa – but also Christmas.” (You know, I’m trying to teach the REAL meaning and all…)
“But I want him now.”
“We have to wait sweetie.”
“But why?”

Each time she would ask I would shake my head in disbelief and laugh.  Seriously, I thought I had, like, at least, I don’t know, 5 more years until the “but why” phase.  I remember asking my mom when I was like 10 or something.  Now I understandably know why she eventually resorted to those lines parents use – “just because ok!” – “because I said so!” – “for the love of God how many times are you going to ask me? do you want me to pull every hair out of my head and bounce my skull off a wall at the same time?  i mean are you doing research for some project that has a grade of life or death!”  Ok – my parents never said that last one – but I’m pretty sure many felt like that after years of answering why – right?

Please don’t get me wrong – I know how important it is for her to know why – she’s trying to figure all this stuff out and I feel so lucky to be able to help her do it.  I love to watch her mind working as she tries to digest what I just told her. It’s  so precious and innocent. I just hope I’m giving her the right answers!

What's Up Elmo?

I know I just need to have patient and do my best trying to teach her because soon this part of childhood will pass and I’ll be faced with many other tough questions/trying times. And, it’s likely I’ll return the experience someday – you know when she’s 16 and wants to stay out late on a school night/drive my car/go on a date – I’ll be sure to ask her “but why?” and keep asking until she comes up with an answer I like!

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Am I Doing This Right?

20 Sep

It’s something I asked  myself today as I tried to win a battle with a 3-year-old.

It started just as I was finishing up getting ready for work.  I don’t know what caused it – she wasn’t in trouble or even about to get in trouble – I was just telling her it was almost time to go.  That began an INSANE amount of “I wanna listens.”

I decided I would try to ignore her.  Before I started this challenge I told her, “Mommy isn’t going to talk to you until you stop saying that.  OK?  As soon as you’re finished we’ll talk.”

It’s like I didn’t even say it. I even ran the vacuum and she kept repeating it!  I also tried humming some happy-sounding tune that I made up – but she didn’t miss a beat with her whine. In fact, she did not stop until I had both her and her brother buckled in the car seats and I was backing down the driveway!  And, the only reason she stopped is because she tricked me!  She had been silent for not even two seconds when she said, “Momma?”  Relieved to hear something other than those 3 horrible words, I braked, turned and looked at her and replied, “Yes?”

“I wanna listen.”

After that I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and explained again that I would only talk to her when she was finished.  Finally, she stopped and I told her I wasn’t mad at her – I just thought it was silly to say it over and over again and that she just needed to listen – not say it.

So, did I do the right thing?  Did I cause security issues because I ignored her?  Is there a better way?  I just don’t want to do this whole parenting thing wrong.  It felt so awful to ignore her cries – I only hope it helps stop or at least reduces the ridiculousness.

I guess I’ll find out tomorrow!

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The Angry Man

19 Sep

He sees me across the room and  yells at me, demanding I  come closer.  I ask him to please be patient  – I’m  still getting his  food ready.  This is  in no way good enough for him so he  lets out a  shriek and hits the table  a few times – really showing  he will  not calmly wait  for me.

I’m finally finished with his food and walk over to him.  He  starts to head bob and dance in his  seat and makes a noise  that sounds like a monkey.  I  smile and let him know  yummy sweet potatoes and  bananas are about to be in his belly.  At first I get a few spoonfuls in  easily – then the  adventure  begins.

He  decides it’s going to be a blast to  try and  swat the spoon out of my hand and scream at me with a huge smile on his face.  After  wiping up several  spots of splattered food on the floor, table and wall,  I  decide  this  is not going to cut it.

This is where I get worried I’m doing some kind of serious damage but what choice do I have – the boy’s gotta eat and we’re not getting anywhere with him smacking spoonfuls around the dining room.  I’m forced to hold one of his arms while I move the spoon toward his mouth.  It’s the only way I can feed him!  I’m in no way hurting him or anything – just merely making sure that violent right hook doesn’t make a connection!

My angry man.  He’s so much fun.  For the most part he’s an extremely happy baby.  He’s super quick to giggle (especially when his big sister is around) and is always flashing a smile at the ladies.  I mean even when he’s throwing a fit he seems to be enjoying it on some level. That’s what concerns me.

He’s only almost 9 months and he is so tough and active.  He seems to love smacking me in the face.  When Nia did that I would take her hand and rub the side of my face and say “nice.”  I’ve tried that with the boy – ha.  He tries to grab any of my skin he can and gives me a huge smile while he practically rips off my cheek.

At this age, Nia wasn’t even thinking about moving.  Nate is practically walking and he crawls with such determination and speed.  It’s a riot.  Andrew pointed out that when he wants something on the other side of the room he puts his head down and takes off, making a grunt sound every time his hand hits the floor.

What a character.  Although I’m worried that I’m going to have to say things to him like, “no punching the stuffed/real animal” and “no throwing spaghetti noodles on the wall,” I cannot wait to see how his personality develops. From the tender moments when he puts his head on my shoulder and pats my arm, to the temper moments when he throws the toys I give him to try and calm him down – I know he’s going to be such a sweet and loving – but also angry – man.

So Tough

 

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No Nap Nia

18 Sep

There were a few times today I thought I was going to lose my mind.  Andrew left early this morning on a business trip so that meant it was all me all day with the sweeties.

I’ve done it plenty of times before – it’s not that it’s hard or anything – it’s just that it wears me and my sanity out – especially when our little princess doesn’t take her afternoon nap.  No nap means the princess’ evil twin comes out to whine, talk back, throw fits and rip toys from her baby brother’s fingers.  I asked her several times today where my sweetie was and if I could have her back.  A simple nap would have found that sweetie.

That’s the Nia who says “Oh, Thank You” with such grownup sincerity when I tell her I love her.  The Nia who makes silly faces just to make me laugh.  The Nia who wraps her little arms around my neck and says “I love my momma.”  Who sings to Nate to make him stop crying.  Who recites the words to Willy Wonka (specifically when Violet turns into a blueberry, she loves the line the dad cries out at the end of the scene “I’ve got a blueberry for a daughter!) – sings the “ah, ah, ah” part of the Little Mermaid – loves the song “Close to You” by the Carpenters and makes us sing that to her each night before bed – calls gymnastics “ba-nastics” – calls my mom “honey” instead of grandma – tells everyone “Momma did it” when I cut her bangs way too short – who says “sure” when I ask her to do something.

She’s just such a happy, helpful, loving child for the most part and that’s why it’s really hard to handle anything but our normal Nia.  Don’t get me wrong, even when she’s unbearable because she hasn’t had a nap, she’s still sweet.  When she sees we’re getting mad she says a phrase Andrew and I have both now come to hate –  “I wanna listen.”  I know it seems silly – it’s such an innocent comment – but imagine a fake cry voice saying that over and over and over and over and over again after you’re already upset about something.  It’s kind of extreme but Andrew and I are so sick of hearing it he’s actually tried to tell her that was a bad thing to say and wasn’t nice!!!!  Has it worked? Nope. The whole thing is just so silly.  It kind of goes like this.

Me/Andrew – “Did you just hit/push/steal that toy from your brother?” (This can be replaced with any other action she should be questioned about.)

Nia – “No.”

Us – “Don’t lie Nia – Why did you do that? That wasn’t nice.”

Nia – “I wanna listen.”

Us – “Ok. You need to be nice.  How would you like it if someone treated you that way?”
Her – “No! I wanna listen.”
Us – “Ok. That’s enough Nia.”
Her- “But I wanna listen.”
Us – “Stop saying it Nia!”
Her – “But I wanna listen.”
Us – “Say it again and it’s time out.”
Her – quietly “But I wanna listen.”

AH!  (That’s me now!)  I know this probably sounds awful – but after hearing it so much and sometimes for no reason at all, it just wears on us.  Today I had to go through it all probably five times. I finally got to the point that I was like, “Uh-huh, great, listen.”  And would you believe that actually worked!  She didn’t repeat it!

Despite all of the battles that happened today because she didn’t have a nap, we made it through the day with quite a few fun moments (her thinking our dog Joey would like his food better if it was drowning in his water bowl/us playing games and puzzles while Nate took them apart for us/us cuddling in the rocking chair as we watched Aladdin) and in typical Nia fashion – it all ended preciously.  When I came back from putting Nate to bed I saw her catching flies – fast asleep on the couch hugging her stuffed elephant.  Although at one point today I was wishing for her just to go to sleep, I was sad I didn’t get to tell her I loved her and hear her say it back to me. I guess that’s what parenthood is all about – one minute you’re ready for silence, the next you feel like something is missing – and it is – the sound of sweeties.

Night-night Nia.  I love you so very much.

Zonked on the Couch

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Right now I should be…

16 Sep

getting the house ready for another “showing” tomorrow.

That means cleaning, tweaking and hiding.  I should be doing things like washing the dishes, scrubbing the dog drool off the windows, sweeping the fur balls off of the floor, stuffing paperwork/clothes/personal items in places a possible buyer likely won’t open and doing all the other gazillion things our realtor told us other realtors thought would make a difference.

Will moving the living room furniture around really be the key to sold?  So far – no.

Will making it look like we don’t have a dog be the answer?  So far – no.

How about moving furniture out of our bedrooms only to crowd them in the garage?  You guessed it – so far – no.

It’s not that I think it all won’t help – I just thought if someone really likes our house then it won’t matter how we have it.  I mean, they’re not buying the furniture and after the houses we looked at to buy our house is spotless!

In one house the carpet was DISGUSTING.  We would have to replace every bit of it.  Also, the microwave that comes with the house – covered in splattered food.  I know that’s something I can clean but come on!  You know you’re trying to sell your house – you know people are going to be inspecting it to see if it’s for them – the least you can do is wipe out your microwave!

I know I’m picky but there are lots of people like that (and much worse) and their houses sell so I have a pretty good feeling mine will too without having to rent a storage place to hide all of the furniture we’re stacking in the garage or repaint the house or resod the yard or lose my mind!

Buy Me

Despite feeling that way though, I know as soon as I leave this computer I will do everything I don’t feel like doing – hoping it will be the last time I have to do it.

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Measuring Fun with the Baby Monitor

14 Sep

When all the red lights on the baby monitor are reaching peak levels, several things could be happening.

One – your baby is screaming his/her head off in the crib – disturbed that people have not immediately stopped what they’re doing to rescue him/her from the prison.

Two – your baby is having a good old time in there talking about the night he/she had to the mobile of stuffed animals/cars or that one spot on the wall you keep meaning to fix.

Three – alien communication is being picked up. (Signs is an awesome movie.)

Four – some sort of mischief is going on between a 3 year old big sister and her 8 month old brother.

Wednesday morning I had the joy of experiencing number four.

In the middle of drying my hair, my 3 year old runs to me with a big smile and a squeal and then darts away.  I figured she went to her room to play before we have to leave.  Then, I see all the lights on the baby monitor light up then quickly go away – light up again – go away – light up again – go away.  I  decide I should listen to what’s happening instead of just watching and guessing so I stop the hair dryer.   I hear loads of little girl laughter and precious baby giggling.  When I go to see what’s causing all of the fun  – I discover that Nia thought Nate’s crib would be a better toy box than his actual toy box.

He was surrounded by blocks, books, cars, stuffed animals, some noise making things – and he was LOVING it.

I really didn’t appreciate the beauty of it all at the time because I was in a hurry to get to work and because each morning I have to pick everything up in case the realtor wants to show the house.  Now though, I see how funny and special the whole thing was.  My two kids were having a blast together.  I need to stop for a minute and realize – even if it means a mess for me, it’s so worth it.  I guess I’m just thinking like a mom on the move – I saw the mess and said, “ok time to stop we need to go.” But Nia knew better.  She replied with a line she usually says when she’s trying to sit on him or something, “but he likes it.”  This time though, she was right.

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