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“Perfect 8th Birthday (fun)”

10 Apr

That is just one of the many wishes Nia has added to her birthday list. No pressure, right? What I find even more innocently sweet is that it is not even the first thing on her list. It’s sandwiched between “dresses (gouns)” (I love that she sounded it out and spelled it to rhyme with nouns. Yes, wrong but still – it’s a young brain thinking!) and “a sock monkey mini (with a little hat).” (I’m going to have to google that one.)

Little growing up Bean, I hope your party is perfect to you. Even if you don’t get everything on this wishful list that I’ll always cherish.

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Throw Mom & Dad Under the Bus

29 Mar

You love them. Kiss their boo-boos. Cut their food. Cart them around to all the fun stuff they want to do. Oh yeah, birth them. And then what do they do? Throw you under the bus with the simple raise of a hand or nod of a head.

Nia is the biggest tattler of the mommy/daddy fails. (Although one, I will argue, was a total fabrication!) Here’s just a sample of what I mean:

  • A teacher was talking to them about safety the other day and she asked the class if they are ever left alone at home. Nia told me she raised her hand because sometimes I “walk to the mailbox while she’s still inside.” The teacher didn’t know that though. She just now thinks that we leave Nia to fend for herself at 7 years old. That would be a no. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to leave her by herself, even when she is old enough. (Mom fear nonsense.)
  • The doctor asked Nia if she wears her helmet when she rides her bike. “Nope,” Nia replied nonchalantly. Excuse me, child? You do so wear your helmet! She told me she said no because she was answering about if she ever rides her bike.  That’s ok. I wanted to hear the two minute safety speech about why she should wear it…
  • During Nate’s baseball practice a week ago, I was looking at an incident happening with another child on the field and said aloud to myself, “I’m not sure what’s happening.” Nia then proceeded to shout at her daddy, Coach Andrew, on the field, “Daddy! Mommy says she doesn’t know what’s happening out there!” Boy did he shoot me a look! I gasped and said, “Nia! Why did you just get me in trouble with daddy?!” She giggled and giggled.

Of course, I’m not saying I would prefer if Nia fibbed or anything like that. It would just be nice to have some cushion to bear the brunt of the bus.

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From Disappointment to When’s Our Appointment?

28 Mar

Is it possible to say you had a good time at the doctor’s office? A doctor visit with a finger prick, urine test and shots? Also, a doctor visit involving two children under the age 8? Who would really feel like, “Whee! I’m taking my kids to be stabbed with a needle! Party!” Um, no. That’s why I can’t believe how awesome it is to take the kids their doctor now.

I used to dread it. When we first moved here, our doctor visits were agony. (All three of those < links in the previous sentence will share the past doctor drama with you.) I’m not saying I now look forward to a shot in the arm visit, but the kids’ new doctor’s office makes it worlds (WORLDS) better.

This doctor’s office never makes you feel like you are bothering them or that you were forgotten about while waiting. They send encouraging messages to parents like, “You are doing a great job with your children.” They talk to the kids and to parents, not at us. They genuinely seem to care about our children – what they do for fun, how they are doing in school what’s their favorite activity. They draw smiley faces and hearts on the hospital gown/shorts the kids wear during checkups. They know beneficial tricks to help make things like shots and strep tests less uncomfortable or scary for kids. (Not like when I had to forcibly hold toddler Nate down on the table at the last doctor.)

What’s even more cool about their doctor now is the Treasure Tower. The kids were given coins that would grant them the goody of their choice. (Our nurse gave the kids two each because Nate broke her heart with his pre-shot puppy dog tears. He and Nia both handled the shots like tough guys though. Not even a sniffle when the needle went in!) Along with the treasure of their choice, they got stickers and I also added a Chick-Fil-A milkshake to their after-shot spoiling. I’m pretty sure the kids won’t mind when we have to go back for the next check-up. Party at the pediatrician. Whee!

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Coins for Treasure Tower

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Shots in Arms, Milkshakes in Bellies

 

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Tiny Geniuses in Nia’s Brain

20 Mar

Nia’s brain continues to amaze us. So much so that Andrew and I will often tell her she has a genius brain. I even told her once (after seeing her great work on math and comprehension tests) that it’s like she has a bunch of tiny geniuses who specialize in different subjects living in her head. I even thought about turning that idea into a children’s book: A little girl with all of these stereotypical character geniuses living in her skull. But then one day, one of them gets sick and can’t help deliver her the correct answer when the question is racing through her head. The others have to pick up the slack and adventure and education ensues.

We can almost see that process happening in her mind when we ask her a question. I have three examples of this that just happened this morning:

  • I asked Nia through a closed door if she had finished her Sunday School homework that was assigned last week. There was silence for a few seconds and then her little voice replied, “Yep. Remember? I did it right when I got home from Sunday School last week.”
  • I asked Nia what she had asked me earlier in the morning because I couldn’t hear her and couldn’t respond right away. She sat for a few seconds and then delivered, “I asked why you drank that.”
  • I said the phrase “pick and choose” to her and, after a second of thought, she inquired, “Doesn’t that mean the same thing?” I sat open-mouthed.

Andrew joked that you could almost hear the computer beeping in her brain as it pinged around for the memory/information and produced it for her. (He said, “Like Watson from Jeopardy.) I laughed and tried to join in with his cleverness, “Yeah! You can see her syntax firing!” He gave me a hesitant smile and sweetly corrected, “Synapse, sweetie. Um, you aren’t allowed to teach our kids biology or anatomy either now. Didn’t you have anatomy in high school?!”

Great. Add that to the list of science and geography as things I’m banned from teaching. I’m pretty sure Nia and her little geniuses will be teaching me anyway. I’m kind of counting on that.

(By the way, I had to google the word synapse to make sure I was spelling it correctly. I found this handy-dandy webpage called Neuroscience for Kids. Can’t say I understood it though.)

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Grocery Store Confession

20 Mar

That’s where it happened. It’s where I confessed to Nia what goes on after I kiss her goodnight and shut the door to her room.

It all started because I remembered we needed chocolate syrup and Nia policed me, “That’s not on the list, Mommy.” I defended myself – saying that I knew it wasn’t but we needed to make an exception because I knew we were almost out. To that, Nia wondered, “Who’s been using it?”

Ummm…

I fessed up that it’s my nightly treat. That once she and Nate are tucked in, I chocolate milk it up. She thought I was joking and it must have made an impression on her because hours later, as I was saying night-night, she warned me, “I’m gonna sneak out of my room and catch you making chocolate milk!”

She didn’t but she may still surprise me one of these nights. I’ll be sure to have a second glass on hand to share.

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Bully Kryptonite

11 Mar

Does it even exist? A way for kids to render bullies powerless? To deal with/stay safe from their hurtful words/actions? Some options that come to my mind include:

  1. Ignore them
  2. Don’t let them get to you/see you upset
  3. Tell them to leave you alone/stop it
  4. Tell on them
  5. Kill ’em with kindness
  6. Fight fire with fire
  7. All of the above
  8. None of the above

Nia has tried really all but number 6. Fortunately for her, she is not being bullied as severely as many kids (my heart breaks for them) but the bullies she does encounter still make her upset and cause her stress.

Nia tells us that one girl continually scratches her and won’t leave her alone, constantly saying mean things. Another girl, Nia says, told her, “I wish you were a bug so that I could step on you a million times.”

What?! It’s just so hard to tell her how to handle it because she’s still so young and still trying to figure social interactions out. Plus, she’s often shy and very small for her age so others have always pushed her around more and targeted her. The kids seem unphased by all her peaceful kryptonite attempts so I’m left thinking number 6 from the list above may need to be used. But I don’t even want to tell her that option. It’s just so difficult when you try to raise your children to do what’s right and treat others kindly and then other kids get away with tormenting and mistreating. I often try to understand what’s going on in a child’s life to make them act in such a hurtful way. I suppose I live too much in the movies. Where there just has to be a happy ending where eventually the bully and the bullied become friends and walk off the playground arm-in-arm. Fist bump?

Yeah. Back to reality. I looked online for advice on how to at least help ease some of the fret Nia has and I found a few articles like this one and this one. She said it was a much better day when she didn’t speak to one of the girls. I know they can’t all be drama-free days but if she’s happy when I pick her up from afterschool, maybe a small piece of the kryptonite is working?

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Mommy Craft Challenge

5 Mar

Seriously, it could be the next big reality show in some circles. I would be allowed on Mommy Craft Challenge though strictly for comedic relief. The other moms would have the opportunity to snub me,  giggle at my creations, feel sympathy for me, try to teach me and then just shrug their shoulders writing me off knowing it’s just not my cup of tea. And I’m ok with all of that. I’m ok with not knowing what the heck “seed beads” are.

I actually get a kick out of people thinking my art/crafts are something the kids did. I take it as a compliment. I do point out that the kids’ creations turn out way better than mine so it’s not right for me to let someone think they drew that zany, smiley face, mismeasured person or poorly glued those pom-poms on that foam frame.

What matters most is that we have fun doing these projects and the kids love them.  When they ask, “Can we make art/crafts?”, they don’t think, mommy can’t do this. They actually encourage me. During craft time today, Nia would tell me, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, Mommy.” Or, “It’s our first one so it’s going to look messier than the others.” She’s so sweet, smart and crafty.

Here’s a look at some of our creations:

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Supplies for 4+ Projects

Desktop Bulletin Board

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Glue for Trim

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Making it Fancy

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More Fanciness

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Finished Framed Desk Bulletin Board

 

Tassel Dolls

Doing Tassel Doll

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Tassel Doll BFFs

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Future Project

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Future Project


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You Look Like a Mom

23 Feb

I remember when I first heard that. I was 28 years old. I was, in fact, a mother. Of two. I remember that I didn’t know how to take it. In that moment, it felt like an insult. Thinking, “What does that even mean?” I was at a bar, with my husband, thinking I look pretty nice in my black sweater and jeans. Now, I wish I could go back and react to it differently. How could that be an insult? I look like a mom. Without hesitation, I should have taken it as a compliment. It’s who I am.

I find it interesting how much I realize that even when I’m not with my kids. When I am by myself, I feel like I’m missing a piece of me. I don’t remember what the me in me was like before Nia and Nate. When they’re with me, I feel like I can do anything. I feel strong. Protective. Smart. Beautiful. When they are not with me, I feel insecure. Small. Even if it’s just going to the store by myself. I need my shopping buddy, Nia. Sure, I can function without her and not have a meltdown but – it’s just – I feel her absence and I notice the difference in me.

I’ve figured out that it helps if I remember that I “look like a mom” even when they aren’t with me. That proud and heartfelt feeling is invigorating. Best. Compliment. Ever.

You're so mom.

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Valentine Views

15 Feb
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Nia's Pile of Sweet Sayings

I can’t believe I’m just now realizing how Valentine’s Day brings out some interesting opinions and reactions in people – even at a young age. There are those who are anti-“Hallmark” holiday. Those who do just enough to swoon their significant other. Those who may go overboard. And those who are encouraged to participate. I suppose that last category can apply to adults too but I’m thinking about it more related to kids.

Like many young kids, both Nia and Nate had valentine exchanges at school. They were given a list of all the children in their class to make sure no one was left out. I always enjoyed doing these exchanges as a kid and remember all the fun and creativity that went into the boxes for collecting the treasures. I remember how extravagant some of the boxes were. I have a memory of one child’s being not a box at all but a mini-Love Boat. (Mine was always a shoe box covered in construction paper with hand-drawn crooked hearts and predictable love messages on it.)

They don’t ask us to create boxes like that now – just have the kids write out their card of choice to all the other children. Some people add to that with candy, scrapbook-type elegance or even individual goody bags. Others don’t give any valentine at all. It made me wonder if their parents just didn’t take the time to do it with them or maybe they can’t afford such a treat-type thing or maybe the child/parent just didn’t want to buy into the “Hallmark” holiday. Whatever the reason, for future V-Days, I plan to donate a few boxes of blank cards to the classroom so that all kids can participate if they’d like. After all, soon enough the exchange won’t be mandated so that even the little mean Johnny/Suzy gets a Be Mine card. It will be more strategic. Where only a someone special is wished Be Mine. Picking and choosing a Valentine. What age does that start?

It seems Nia is already creeping toward that. While writing hers out, she was so concerned about running out of the standard “Happy Valentine’s Day” cards and having to give a non-BFF a BFF card. Nate wanted to make sure all of his friends would like the card they got. He was worried about giving the girls a Buzz or Woody character card because, “they’re girls.” When I told him that they will love to get any card he gives them, he relaxed a bit but still made every effort to give them either the cowgirl, Jessie, or the horse, Bullseye.

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Nate's Love Wishes

I suppose I remember reading into my mandatory valentines some when I was a kid. Is so-and-so really “head over heels” for me?! He must be! I mean, he picked this card just to give to me, right?!

Glad I kept that all to myself. That would have been embarrassing to admit out loud.

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Homework, Honesty and Hush!

9 Feb

The case of Nia’s misplaced homework has been solved. Turns out, her BFF thought it was hers. When she realized she had Nia’s, the sweetie asked her teacher if she could bring it to Nia in the other classroom. I so love that! Also, Nia’s teacher told us having Nia create the homework herself was “good improvising.” Love that too!

As her school day went on, Nia was tested on a few other responsibility areas and I actually like their outcomes and her reaction. One involved her running in the hall to catch up to the class line. Her teacher heard someone running but didn’t know who it was. When she asked Nia if she was the one running, Nia told her it was. She was punished for breaking the running rule but her teacher wrote to us that she appreciated Nia’s honesty. I know she shouldn’t have been running but I’m proud of her for telling the truth.

The second issue involved lunch and a “mean” (according to Nia) teacher (Nia says, “She’s only nice to the adults.”) who made Nia have what’s called “silent lunch” for talking too loudly.  I don’t have a problem about the punishment, nor do I believe this teacher is only nice to adults. I just found her interpretation and commentary of what happened kind of precious. I mean, “She’s only nice to the adults.”

Oh, Bean. You make me proud, laugh and shake my head all at the same time. Now, stop breaking those rules!

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