For Sale By Barbie

6 Dec

It sounds like something out of a real estate ad, only way more glamorous and uninhabitable by humans.

This is how the features for Mattel’s  Barbie Dream Townhouse are listed on target.com:

  • 3 stories of fabulous include a pink personal elevator and lights and sounds on every level
  • Enter through the front door to a warm and glowing light-up chandelier, a dining area and a fully stocked kitchen
  • Entertain in the second level living room with a roaring fireplace and a popup flat screen TV, plus an ultra-luxurious Barbie signature bathroom
  • The third floor boasts a posh bedroom suite with canopy bed and a balcony with charming light-up tiki lights and an outdoor whirlpool tub
  • Sounds include a doorbell, a kitchen timer, a crackling fireplace, a shower humming and a flushing toilet

And if that wasn’t convincing enough, toysrus.com offered more descriptive details, broken up room by room.

Sold. And it didn’t even cost me a 30-year mortgage. I had a promo code.

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Sexperiment Dropout

2 Dec

Well, I took a brisk walk on the manly product side as part of my silly Sexperiment and that’s all I needed to send me running for the temptation of soft skin and sweet smell.

Some differences I noticed during my three days (besides the scent) involved the shampoo and soap. The shampoo dried out my hair and painfully tangled it and the soap dried out my skin to the point of cracks. I’m sure the cold weather didn’t help but at least I get some protection with my moisturizing soap.

I also really did miss my sweet scented products. People could probably smell my perfume before they saw me today because I enjoyed an extra spray or two. Sorry about that. I was lost in the moment.

There are two things I’m going to change after doing this mini-sexperiment though. I will be upgrading my razor and will be buying Andrew some conditioner or at least a two-in-one. That shampoo is brutal, even for man hair.

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My Sexperiment Has Started

29 Nov

I got my first dose of man products today as part of the Sexperiment I wrote about a week ago. It was not as bad as I expected. The thing I missed most was wearing my pink colored and sweet smelling perfume. My two favorites are Pink by Victoria’s Secret and Princess by Vera Wang. I was so tempted to spritz one on this morning. I may have to move them out of sight for the rest of the week. They’re just so inviting.

I am also a little concerned about my sensitive parts yelling at me for using products that don’t have the promise of softness or smoothness. My hands are dry today but that may be because of the weather, not the man-care.

Here’s what I used:

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I must say I do love the razor. It has a bunch of blades and vibrates. Do they make that for girls? I only ever use my two-blade, inexpensive Daisy razors so I haven’t lived the life of razor luxury. If not, I may stick with Andrew’s Mach 3. I’m sure he’ll go halfsies with me on the cartridges. I figure, I’m already stealing his stuff. Right, hon?

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The Toys That Remain

28 Nov

Barbie McDonald’s: More than 20 Barbies served and 20 pieces lost and then it closed for business.

I loved that unhealthy themed toy. It was red and yellow and came complete with a soda dispenser and a Big Mac container with tiny bun and burger circles. That’s all that remains of that beloved toy. The Big Mac container.

It, like so many other things I hold dear in my memory, are gone. Either given away or sold at a garage sale. At the time, I didn’t care. I had outgrown them and didn’t realize how much I would want them in my nostalgic years. My She-Ra dolls and castle. My three-story doll house that had working lights. My Legos that I built with my Grandpa. My Barbie and the Rockers’ stage shaped like a guitar.

On the flip side of that list is the list of those toys that remained. My Barbie and Muppet Colorforms. My Fraggle Rock and Muppet Babies’ puzzles. My, now unscented and half-dressed, Strawberry Shortcake dolls in their strawberry carrying case. A huggable Strawberry Shortcake baby doll, along with my Rainbow Brite and Cabbage Patch dolls.

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And then there is my most favorite toy of all – my Barbie Dream House. The house that I found hidden under blankets in the basement. The house that revealed the truth about Santa to my young mind. The house that helped me create soap operas and romances for my Barbies that would never be possible in real life.

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This house now welcomes new, young guests and offers them hours of fun at grandma’s. I’m glad it’s still a part of my childhood home but even when it’s not, it will always reside in my memory and heart. Right there with the doll-sized Golden Arches.

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Black Friday Family Fun

27 Nov

Maybe you love all the after Thanksgiving sales. Maybe you despise all that the retail circus represents. Maybe you’re scared of the crazies. Maybe you don’t care either way. I would say I’m all of the above but tend to lean toward loving it. Not so much because of the sales, but because of the fun I have with my family.

The teen-and-up girls of my fam don’t let a Black Friday pass without a purchase. My mom, sis, niece and I set off as early as we can to take advantage of any sales but mostly to have a blast living through the experience together.

This year brought plenty of laughs. There was the man who almost ran us over in front of the mall as he abruptly stopped to shove his woman out of the car. There was the highly mediated cashier who was barely breathing and then needed to attempt to call for a price check. There was the man in the fast line who wouldn’t stop talking to the cashier and then stopped to talk more to us because I told him he dropped his debit card on the ground. (I now know he keeps his card in his checkbook so he can write down every deduction.) But the best was the noisy shopping cart that was bestowed upon us. It could be heard throughout the store, over the terrible shopping music and our in-stereo laughter.

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I’d push the loudest cart with these ladies any day of the year.

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Pants on Fire

24 Nov

Is lying a learned behavior/trait or are people born knowing how to fib? At four years old, it seems Nate is doing his best to improve his tall tale skills.

The most recent lie attempt involves a big “N” scrawled on bed sheets. We noticed it after we were addressing the broken fan light that Nate had caused by throwing a marker in the air (I’m envisioning, like a wild man).

When confronted about the graffiti-ed sheets, he started to stumble over his words and eventually told us:

“I didn’t do it. I threw the marker and it hit the light and then it came down and made that mark on the bed!”

Andrew responds, “Son, are you trying to tell me that the marker made an “N” all by itself?”

My mom and I: muffled, then explosive laughter.

Nate, rethinking his story: “No. That’s not what I said …(undig, undig, undig).”

Here is the mark the marker made by itself, according to Nate:

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Here is the damage done to the lamp, caused by Nate:

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That is one amazing and disastrous marker.

 

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I’m Stricken with NKOTBSB

22 Nov

I find myself dealing with mixed emotions about the comeback and combination of two boy bands from my younger years.

When I first heard that New Kids on the Block were reuniting, I felt nostalgic and wanted to be a part of the fun and frenzy. I got to go to their concert with a good friend and other fans and it was great. Singing and dancing along, screaming like we did when we first saw them years ago (minus the tears). It was a nice trip down memory lane.

It’s also how I felt about watching my first loves from afar share the stage with some other former teenage heartthrobs, the Backstreet Boys, during the 2010 American Music Awards. At first, I laughed. I loved. I sang along. And then it hit me. I know all of these words. I’ve lived through two generations (plus) of boy bands. I’m now rejoicing in reunion concerts. I’m older.

I felt a little bummed for a minute but then I realized, I may soon have Nia’s generation of bands to (quietly) sing along with too. I’ll get to see it through her eyes. That might be my favorite concert yet.  (With the addition of ear plugs to minimize the screaming damage.)

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Scenes from the Backseat

20 Nov

Our recent road trip offered plenty of entertainment and patience testers. Some of the scenes from the backseat include:

  • Drama as Nia’s seatbelt tightened on her and she couldn’t get it loose.
  • Forget, “Are we are there yet?” or “I gotta go potty.” We heard, “What street are we on now?” “What about now?” “Now?” (We were on the same road for hours.)
  • Dancing like SpongeBob SquarePants to the “Wizards In Winter” (instrumental) by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
  • Fits of giggles thanks to the Megamind Happy Meal toy.  (And some flatulence.)

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Sexperiment

20 Nov

I’m thinking about partaking in a sexperiment. No, not a head-in-the-gutter kind but a gender product comparison kind.

I’m fascinated at the cleansing products marketed for men. Man soap. Man shampoo. Man deodorant. Man spray. Man razors. Their products are bathed in such different, strong colors. They feature extreme verbiage like “Defends” and “Deep Cleans.” Andrew’s blue man soap has ridges in it. Impressive.

It all got me thinking, what makes this strictly for men? The packaging? The colors? The scents? Is the smell the only difference between my smooth, sleek, sweet fragranced bar of soap and his?

I’m going to find out. I’m going to put my girly products aside for seven days (start date is next Sunday) and use things that are made for a man.  (Although this was not in our vows, Andrew says, “Do it.” I think he’s banking on me backing out though!) I mean, his soap boasts of being 3-D. I want in on that.

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I Chose Nightmares

17 Nov

I just got another lesson in Well, Duh from my seven-year-old.

On our way home tonight, Nia asked me, “Is it true that if I say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times and spin around that I will DIE? That’s what So-n-So says.”

After I hesitated to reinforce my knowledge that it is false, I replied that it’s just a scary story people tell each other and there are other versions of it as well. I also added that I heard it when I was young. (Candyman!) She then inquired if it made me scared or if I ever tried it.

I paused to think about how to answer – it also added a nice dramatic effect – and then told her that it did scare me and I did try it. She questioned, making it seem so simple, “Why didn’t you just ask your parents about it like I’m asking you?”

Right.

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