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Kinda Cool
28 NovWhen I was pregnant with Nia, I used the pages from a desk calendar to write my letters to Andrew while he was overseas. That way, he would know what happened to his Lady and his Bean on any given day. I recently found the letters and read through them. On one of them, I told Andrew that while I was watching the Grammy’s, Bean was going nutso in my belly during the song “Clocks” by Coldplay. What makes this “kinda cool” is because she absolutely LOVED that song when she was a baby. Anytime she would cry or get fussy in the car, we would play “Clocks” and she would totally chill out as soon as she heard the opening piano. We would play it over and over and over again. It’s a good thing Andrew and I both really like the song.
The power of music. Gotta love it.
Don’t want to jinx it but…
28 NovWe’ve spent two days at the Y and have had two days without any violent incidents!
One lady who watches Nate told me she would never write him up because she knows he’s not a mean kid. She says the only time she’s ever seen him act aggressive/rough with another kid was when the kid tried to take a toy he was holding. I even talked to the lady who wrote him up about how stressed I am about the whole thing because I wouldn’t know what I would do if I couldn’t go to the Y. (Here’s where I feel sorry for myself because I have no friends here since Monica moved away.) She told me there are kids who are far, far worse than Nate and that I really shouldn’t worry about it. That’s semi-comforting but I still can’t help but be a little worried.
As far as what Andrew and I have done to break Nate of his bully behavior, well, I don’t really know for sure. We’ve been putting him in his crib for timeout EVERY time he pushes or hits, even if he’s just playing. (And I’m happy to say the amount of time he’s spent behind bars has significantly dropped.) I also make him say (try to say) “sorry for pushing/hitting” to Nia and I tell him “no push” and “no hit” and have him repeat it to me right before we go into the Y.
All we can do is keep doing what we’ve been doing and hope it all sinks in to that tiny hard skull of his.
Advice that ranks up there with “wear protection”
22 Nov“Now, there are just some things you get at the Wal-Mart.”
– Advice a mother gave her preteen daughter tonight while shopping at Publix.
Serving Time
18 NovBefore it was even noon today, we’d already put Nate in time out five times for hitting or pushing Nia. It’s been so ridiculous and so frustrating and frankly, I’m really sad and exhausted over it all. He even pushed a little girl (like 15 months or so) at the mall’s soft play area yesterday! As soon as we saw it we jumped up, grabbed him, told him “NO SIR! No pushing!” and didn’t let him play anymore. Before we left, he went over to her, hugged her and said “Orry” but none of that really matters to me if he keeps pushing and hitting.
I’ve read that all of this is a “normal/typical” toddler stage and I’ve read time out is the way to go – I just hope and pray it works. It’s funny because some of the advice on the online websites I’ve visited say things like, “children under 2 should not watch tv.” Well, that’s great. How do I undo that? Besides, Nia watched plenty of tv before she was 2 and she never hit/pushed/bit anyone plus, she’s super smart so I can’t say that tv is to blame for his actions. It’s not like he’s watching Ultimate Cage Fighting (well at least not more than 30 minutes a day – I’m totally kidding if you don’t know that). I mean, his cartoons are Curious George and Go Diego Go – all those are teaching him to do is speak like a monkey, make messes and want to wear a “Rescue Pack”. (He really does all of those things.)
All of this has me feeling a little timid about taking him back to the Y this week. I know I can’t live my life like that but I just don’t want to chance us getting the boot. I even thought about telling the ladies to get me as soon as he does anything that way it will be even more of a punishment and he doesn’t get written up. I can’t believe how stressed out all of this is making me. Hopefully, he will grow out of it (like all the websites say he will). In the meantime though, I have a feeling he’s going to be spending a lot of time behind bars.
Criminal Record before Age 2
16 NovToday, Nate got “written up” while being watched at the YMCA and I don’t blame those ladies one bit! He is just so rough! Everyone says, “He’s just a boy” but I’m so tired of hearing that excuse. I know that there are some little boys who would never even think about pushing a 15-month-old little girl down one time let alone THREE!
The ladies who watch the kids at the Y are so nice and the one who wrote him up gave him 2 chances before even putting him time out. Apparently, every time they put a child in time out they have to write it up and after three write-ups they basically boot the kid out of child watch. I would be so super bummed if that happens. I love being able to go there – not only for me but also for the crazy little man. He really loves to play there. In fact, every morning after we drop Nia off at school Nate says, “I play?” He gets all mad at me when I tell him “Not today sweetie.” We both enjoy spending a few hours a week at the Y and it would be such a shame if we lose the luxury because he plays too rough.
I know he was just playing and that he didn’t push the little girl down in a mean way because he and Nia constantly wrestle and shove each other, laughing the whole time. Andrew and I are working on breaking him of the rough-housing but it’s really hard to punish him every time he runs at Nia and they both scream and laugh. He even told the little girl “Orry” but I don’t think he even understands what that really means.
I just never thought I would be that mother. The mother of the bully. The mother of the victim was so nice about it. She was in there as I went to pick him up and she was telling me that her oldest was a biter and that I shouldn’t feel so bad about it because lots of kids go through the “rough” stage. I’m not sure if she knew that Nate was taking his “rough stage” out on her daughter – I’m sure I would have got a much different response. If she did know maybe she was so nice because she saw that I genuinely felt bad about the whole thing. Now, we just have to get the boy to understand that he needs to chill – but after all, “he is a boy” right?
“I’m Tougher than You Dad!”
From a Kid’s Eye View…
6 Nov- Everything is “included” when it comes to toys –
Nia will watch a commercial featuring some toy horses and a stable and she won’t notice how cute the animals are or all the neat things that come with the stable – she’ll notice the green outdoor carpet underneath it all and exclaim, “Look Momma! It comes with grass!” - Toys are much better in commercials than they are in real life –
Sometimes the commercial will use animation to help portray that something gives off a scent – Nia will see that and say, “Momma, the strawberries fly out of their bellies!” Oh and the new thing that gets me is these commercials featuring these well-kept little girls in their perfect princess outfits playing with an unbroken kitchen set – in real life those princess dresses would be torn in places and the girls would have like brownie on their face with milk mustaches and the kitchen would be missing some essential cooking utensils plus the oven door would be hanging off – I mean come on! I want to see some true to life kid toy commercials! The carpet needs to be dirty and the kitchen set needs to have some crayon on it! To make it even more real – throw in a little brother who’s trying to sit in the refrigerator and totally ruining the cookies his big sis is trying to bake! - You really mean what you say –
The first time I told Nia, “momma’s just gonna go jump in the shower real quick” she replied “can I come see you jump in? are you going to jump like this?” (acting out a jump) - Yesterday is today and tomorrow is yesterday –
It is so freakin’ hard to teach this concept! I even tried writing it down but what good will that do? Kid can’t read yet! Andrew’s mom says to tell her we’ll be doing something in so many “sleeps.” Like, “In 3 more sleeps (night-nights) and we’ll be going to the zoo!” - Hopping forward with one leg in haphazardly front of the other IS skipping –
Yet another really hard thing to teach. - You don’t need to look forward to drive a car –
I cannot even tell you how many times Nia will say, “Momma, look” while I’m trying to drive. I tell her that I can’t turn around while I’m driving and that if I do I will boo-boo the car. As soon as I am stopped at a red light though, she tells me that now I can look at her because I’m not driving anymore. Too smart for me.
How Could I Forget This?!?!
4 NovNate went pee-pee on the potty! Isn’t that crazy? He can’t even say potty! We just tried it out of the blue and he did it! Now, we make it a routine thing every night before bath time. We aren’t really trying to “train” him yet but we figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least get him used to the idea. We’ll see!
A Sample of the Insanity
1 NovHere are just a few examples of the listening pleasures I get to be treated to each day – courtesy of the kids.
Nia: “Nate, look at me. Nate, look at me. Nate, look at me. Nate, look at me. Nate, look at me. Nate, look at me. Naaatttee, looook at meeeee. Nate, look at me Nate. NAAATTTEEE, look at me!”
Nate: “NO!”
Me: “NIA! That’s enough! Obviously, he does not want to look at you right now!”
Nia: “Why?”
Nia: “Momma, if you have green and yellow and green and yellow and green and yellow and green and yellow and green and yellow and blue and green and yellow and green and yellow and green and yellow and green and yellow and green and yellow – does that make a pattern?”
Me: Too exhausted and confused to give a clear answer. (I was trying to cook dinner at the same time.) It came out something like “Huh? Uh-huh.” I mean, I would really have to see that one written down on paper to know for sure if it made a pattern. There was no way I was counting up how many green and yellows she said before and after the blue!
Nate: “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”
Me: My reply to this is either – “Whatever dude.” “I don’t want to hear it.” or “mumble, mumble, mumble, tell me no, mumble, mumble, mumble.”
Nia: “Momma, I’m going to tell you a story. There was a frog and a balloon and a bug and the bug wanted to eat the balloon and the frog was going to the store and the balloon was at the store and the bug wanted to eat it and the frog got it and then a lion came in and said ‘roar’ and the balloon cried because it was scared and the bug felt bad for the balloon and didn’t want to eat it anymore but the lion did so he said “roar, I’m going to eat you up” and he did.”
Me: I would give a few “oh yeahs?” and “wows” throughout the story a “why did he do that” on occasion. One time she told a story during the ENTIRE time we were at the grocery store. That was like a 30 minute story or something. It was so hard to try to listen to her and make sure I got everything on the list! (By the way, the above story is not word for word what Nia said – it’s more of an idea of the kinds of stories she will tell me during the day. It may seem awful but I don’t really remember the stories she actually does tell me because that would be nearly IMPOSSIBLE. I mean, she tells me like two or three a day and it’s usually while I’m trying to think about something else.)
If it’s not one thing, it’s the dog
22 OctIt never fails –
- Just when I’ve put Nate in his crib for his nap, the dog barks ridiculously at nothing. And it’s not just a “Woof” bark – no this bark is like “I’m going to rip your head off for coming near my door BARK.” A bark so loud and so ferocious you would actually think there was someone trying to get into our house. I don’t even bother looking out of the window anymore – I just run straight at the dog and tell him in my loudest whisper, “BE QUIET!” (Usually followed by other comments that I say under my breath while still glaring at the dog.)
- I find all the pieces to six different puzzles. I put all the pieces in their place. I neatly stack the puzzles and slide them under the couch so they will stay neat for, hopefully, a day. I walk out of the room for a few seconds. I come back in the room and see all the puzzles and their pieces scattered across the floor. When will I learn? I do not know why there is something in me that insists on cleaning up while the destroyer (as we loving call Nate) is still awake. It happens every day and every day it makes me shake my head and sigh and ask, “Why do I bother?”
- I finally think of something new to cook for the kids that I think they will like – I serve it up for them – Nate yells “NO!” at me and Nia says, “But I haven’t tried this before.” Translation: I just wasted food and time and energy and now have to do it all over again as I come up with something they will eat.
- I successfully sneak the blankey that never leaves Nate’s sight away from him to give it a much needed bath. Before it even makes it into his bed that night, it already has spaghetti sauce on it, some dog hair, a few crumbs from his graham cracker and I’m pretty sure there’s got to be some pee or trace amounts of poo on it since he insists on holding it as I change his diaper. (I really hope not but I can’t help but think it – the blankey is a bio-hazard.)
- I think I’ve talked about this before but it is just a constant source of annoyance that it warrants another mention. It’s the reason that I seriously do feel like, if it’s not one thing, it’s the dog. It’s because just when I get a break for 5 seconds to, oh I don’t know, go to the bathroom by myself, there’s the dog. Panting. Starring. Yawning at me. It seems whenever I’m trying to do anything – he’s there. I try to cook dinner. He blocks the refrigerator. I try to run the dishwasher. He positions himself so I can’t open the thing. I step backward – I trip on him. I love that big ball of fur so much but it seems he’s usually the thing that pushes me over the top. (The boy usually has me right on the edge, then Joey takes it over for him.)
Are You Zhazha? 
Say what?