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Dealing With Irregularity

20 Oct

There are certain things I’ve come to rely on/expect during my work day. They are small things that help me get through the day. Part of my routine. Things like:

  • I prepare myself that I’m going to hit traffic and that my commute will take at least an hour.
  • Coffee makes my morning better.
  • I like to listen to music from my childhood/teens while I work.
  • I desire a Diet Coke at about 2ish every afternoon.
  • My back is going to crack when I turn to look over my shoulder as I reverse my car out if its space at the end of the day.
  • I have a set restroom stall I use.

And that’s where my routine becomes irregular. Some new users have not been taking care of this commode. It is no longer up to my standard and therefore I am forced to choose another.

It is so odd how much this stall shuffle has bothered me. I never realized how much I rely on routine. I’m all out of sorts because of the location of the loo?

I think I’m also disturbed with how yucky people can be. I have no idea who is responsible for ruining my routine with their gross potty habits and they will likely never know the full extent of the mess (the toilet and my sanity) they left behind.

 

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Nia and the Cafeteria Money Mystery

18 Oct

“Hello. This message is for the parents of Antonia Valles. Our records indicate you have a cafeteria balance of negative $2.50. Please pay this balance promptly. Thank you.”

I never would’ve thought a message like that could spark the flood of tears and deep concern that came from Nia. Her immediate reaction was to cry and tell me over and over again, “They are lying, momma! They are LYING!”

After doing my best to calm the crazy, I asked her why she was so upset. All that did was start her up again. “Because they are lying! I never buy anything!” “Okay, fine,” I said. “Let’s try to figure out what else it could be.” I asked her if she got a juice, a milk or forgot her money on popsicle day. She dramatically denied me every scenario I suggested, still insisting that the cafeteria people were out to get her. She instructed me to call them and tell them they were wrong.

I thought about that phone call in my head. “Yes, Miss Elementary School Cafeteria Cashier, as if you don’t have enough to put up with, my seven-year-old says you’re a liar, liar pants on fire.”

Right.

Wow. All this for $2.50 that I knew I was going to pay whether Nia forgot she spent it or the school or another student made a mistake when entering the student ID. I mean, someone spent that money so the school needed it either way.

Despite Nia’s protest (“They just want our money, momma.”), I gave her the money to give to the school and, to satisfy her, told her I would call them to see what may have happened.

Turns out, someone purchased three school lunches using Nia’s number. The really nice woman from the cafeteria said she didn’t think another child could’ve made a mistake because the cashier is supposed to verify. She told me she’d talk with Nia’s teacher about it. I let her know all is well, until the bill is $50. Then, they’ll have to speak with Nia and she’s not as understanding about this matter as I am.

A Lesson in A-S-S

5 Oct

She asked and I told her – over and over and over again. It felt like I said the word ass more during that ten minutes talking to Nia in the car than I’ve said in the past seven years.

It all began when she asked to listen to Pink’s song “Get the Party Started.” Her dancing class plays and she wanted to continue rocking out to it after class. The difference is, the version her dance class uses is probably G-Rated. The version I played had the lyrics: “I’ll be burnin’ rubber, you’ll be kissin’ my ass.”

Nia: What does that word mean, momma?
Me: Um, well, it can mean a few things. Some say it as another word for donkey to mean silly or stupid. They say jackass instead of donkey. Like, that person is a jackass. But that’s not nice and we shouldn’t say it. It’s also used as a not nice way to say bottom or butt. (Clear my throat.) Ass. We also shouldn’t say that.
Nia: How do you spell it?
Me: Why?
Nia: Just ’cause I wanna know.
Me: Well, you spell it a-s-s but you don’t need to spell it or write it or say it. Ok?
Nia: Ok, but can I tell my friends I know what it means?
Me: No! I mean, no, because they might not know what it means and their moms and dads won’t want them to know yet. You let their moms and dads tell them like I told you. You shouldn’t say the word because it’s not nice and you’ll get in big trouble if you say it. Your school will probably call mommy and daddy at work and you wouldn’t want that, right? I’m telling you what it means because I’m teaching you so you know and know not to say it. Ok?
Nia: Ok. How do you spell it again?
Me: Nope. I think we should be all finished talking about it because I said it way to many times just now and we should just be finished.

And deep breath. Did I do the right thing? I have no idea. I suppose I could have just said, “You don’t need to worry about it or say it and that’s all you need to know” but I want to be able to talk with the kids and not hide things from them. I also really appreciate that they come to us with questions and I hope it stays that way – pain in the ass or not.

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Worse Than a Horror Movie

4 Oct

I felt the blood leave my face. The goosebumps broke a new record in how fast they appeared on me. I dramatically yelled for Andrew to save us all from the two black widow spiders and their eggs living in our garage. It was the first of three major insect sightings we discovered in or around our house this past weekend. Something I’m still struggling with thanks to my fear of all things bug.

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The next discovery caused me to gasp in amazement. I’m so thankful we found this mound of fire ants hiding under second base before Nate did while rounding the base:

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I had to do a double take on this one because it was so well camouflaged. Do you see it there? The Praying Mantis? We let it hang out on our porch but I really hope I don’t find it inside one day.

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What’s up bugs? Did they all get the insect-vite to invade on that certain day? Well, I officially uninvite you. Forever.

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Mommy Mysteries

30 Sep

How did you do it, lady? How did you manage to stay so mom-like and proper around me as I grew up? I can’t help but wonder (and, heads up, some of these are TMI) how you managed to:

  • Watch what you wanted on tv even if it had adult tones to it? I remember the CBS Soaps and Hill Street Blues in the background. I’m lucky if I get to watch Top 20 Video Countdown on Saturday mornings.
  • Deal with how grown-up I played Barbies? Or is that why you never played Barbies with me? I understand. I don’t really love playing Barbies with Bean but I don’t know how to tell her no without making her feel bad. You never made me feel bad. I bet my storylines stressed you out. I know they would me if I heard Nia throwing Ken off a balcony because he cheated on her with her sister. (Maybe those Soaps sunk into my head?)
  • Hold your gas around me? Yes, I mean toots. I don’t ever remember you letting one rip when I was a little kid. I hope my kids can forget their mommy’s noisemakers. They usually cutely yell at me, “Mommy!” What?
  • (This one is TMI you can never unread.) Change your lady products without young me barging into the bathroom mid-change? Sure, locking the door seems so simple. Even if they don’t see the act in progress, they still see the product which prompts questions.”Why do you have a diaper, mommy?” Yes, I answered it without really answering it. “It’s not a diaper. It’s not for pee, it’s for something elsethatI’lltellyouaboutlater.”

I guess I have created at least one mystery. Just on another level.

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Too Much Skin for Sesame Street?

23 Sep

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Whoa, I guess Katy Perry isn’t welcome in the PBS neighborhood. It seems “Sesame Street” has decided against airing the scantily clad Katy – or maybe it was her singing? – on PBS after getting complaints about it. I find this whole hoopla over what she was (not) wearing during her song and dance with the furry, red monster a riot.

Our kids see references to relationships and sex all around them every day. In their cartoons, male characters whistle and pant when a female character walks by. Often, those female characters are dressed very womanly – don’t tell me Princess Fiona’s dress didn’t accentuate her curves and cut a little low to reveal some ‘vege. Or, what about the Disney girls? Where was your problem with that? A crab telling a voiceless hottie how to “kiss the boy.” Why is Katy Perry in a skin-showing frock any worse during her two and a half minutes of screen time?

Sometimes, I think the reaction we have to things makes them a bigger deal than they actually are. My word. How much of any of it do you think your preschooler picks up on anyway? I’m sure that’s why my thoughts above never bothered you – those scenes are so subtle, right? Let’s say the kids don’t pick up on it – I’m sure many of us have something questionable from our childhood that we encountered and didn’t realize it how sexual or terrible it was. I watched Grease over and over again and sang along – not having any idea I was singing “pussy wagon” or the “chicks will cream.” Also, what was happening in the backseat of that car?

I find it hypocritical and confusing that, as a society, we have become accepting of so much around us that it just doesn’t make sense to me when we try to say, “Oh, hold up! That’s just wrong! But that over there – that lingerie ad, that music video, billboard, commercial, magazine cover, tv show – those are all ok.” Why? Because they aren’t aimed at the children? Well, unless you have them only watching “Sesame Street” (except for when Katy Perry was going to be on) and walking around with plugs in their ears and covering their eyes – they’ve certainly been around it. Try checking out with a child at the grocery store. While you unload your cart, their eyes are on the candy and the eye-candy on the covers of the mags. Nia actually moves the censor-shields out of the way to ask me why they’re covered.

Now, there’s an idea – talking to a child about why something was a certain way and why you think it should be different or not. Whatever. Watch Katy Perry and if they seem to mimic a behavior you don’t like, discuss it with them. Educate them. Help them grow into responsible, considerate adults who maybe won’t want to put the sexy dressed star of their time on a children’s show. Or maybe they will and it will just fine because – in the future – it will be sunny days and everything will be a-ok.

By the way, in case you’re wondering, I’m actually not a fan of her (lack of) attire on the appearance. I’m also disappointed in Elmo for not offering her a jacket. I thought that monster had manners. He could have taught Katy about dressing for the occasion.

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I don’t Facebook like you anymore

19 Sep

I lost a Facebook friend this week and I can’t fathom why it bothers me like it does. The only reason I even realized my friend number shrunk is because I had an even number – 390. When 389 caught my eye I immediately started to wonder what I did wrong. Did I update too much? Did I offend update? Did I TMI update? Maybe I haven’t been liking any of his/her updates? I say his/her because I have no idea who decided to unfriend me. Some friend I am.

That’s one reason why I can’t understand why I’m so concerned. Why do I need to know what lead to the dumping? Why am I putting myself through this? I thought I was through the phase of wanting validation, acceptance and friendliness from others. Why am I voluntarily involved in something that makes me feel like I did in high school?

On top of that, what is up with us putting the extra level of etiquette and work on ourselves? Did I wish that person a happy birthday? Did I thank someone for wishing me one? Did I respond to that comment in a timely manner? Am I neglecting a friend? Oh my, I missed that terrible news because I have that person hidden! Now, I’m a total jerk. Ah!

Too. Much. Pressure. Also, too much judging. How many people have unfriended/hidden someone because that so-called “friend” posted something annoying/insulting/political/stupid? Even news organizations and others claiming to be experts in the social media field have an opinion on improving your Facebook reputation. CNN wrote about “The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers” (there’s even a quiz for you to test yourself) and a Google search offers plenty of tips on how to be the better updater.

I guess, it’s really not that much different from buying a book or searching for tips on how to be a better in-person communicator or how to make people like you. That’s why I’m wondering if the whole Facebook world is really worth all the extra effort? Keeping friendships in the face-to-face world is hard enough. At least there I know which friends I’ve lost and what happened to cause the sad split. However, I’m pretty sure I’ve never had 389 face-to-face friends at one time. I wonder how much that number will change after I post this?

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I like you in real life, but not in e-mail life

16 Sep

I had a recent in-person conversation with someone I thought was cool. That was until that person told me she hated when people peppered their e-mails with exclamation points. I immediately did the wrong thing. I decided, I don’t think this person is that cool anymore. Why? Because I’m an exclamation pointer, of course!

What? Really? Did I just form an opinion of someone because of her attitude toward electronic communication? Ridiculous and common.

  • Maybe you dislike the person who never shows emotion in their e-mail. Their message sounds dry, cold or demanding. Maybe you’re the opposite (like my uncool acquaintance above) and can’t stand it when people use the exclamation point.
  • The same goes for the smiley face. Maybe you think it helps signify that you’re kidding, friendly or providing service with a smile. Others, though, may see it as unprofessional. They automatically don’t take you seriously and won’t be able to anymore.
  • All caps – why are you yelling at me? No caps – lazy much?
  • Nice in person but an a-hole online? An a-hole in person but suddenly get a sense of humor in every e-mail you send?

Have your own e-mail annoyance?

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Facebook vs. Face-to-Face

8 Sep

I don’t think my friends “fake it” on Facebook and even if they do, how is that any different than what they do face-to-face?

My question comes after reading the mommy blog article, The New “Keeping Up with the Joneses”. If you don’t feel like reading it, here’s a snippet of my takeaway of the article:

Many people only post happy things on Facebook even when they have bad things to share as well. They don’t mention the fight they had with the hubs, the nightmare of a weekend trip they had, the terrible way they talked to their kids that day or the horrifying thing their child did at school. They only tell you about the smiles, love, hugs, kisses, presents and blessings. All of the life-is-swell updates often make others feel inferior.

I think the writer makes good points (and I agree with the sentiment) but I think the situation is not really a new thing and it’s not just like this because of social media.

How many of our friends tell us all the dirt that happens in their lives to our faces? There are plenty who will never share the negative experiences with another soul outside of their family. Whether they’re on their nightly walk with you, grabbing a coffee with you or Facebooking around the clock, they only shine a happy light on their lives. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

On the flip side, there are some friends who never have a positive thing to tell you or Facebook about. They seem to always be negative or surrounded by drama. If the ones who are always sunshine and happiness make us feel bad about ourselves, should the ones who are followed by a storm cloud make us feel better about ourselves?

What about the friends who over-share and T.M.I. us until we can never un-hear what we’ve heard? (Some wouldn’t want it any other way!) Those friends, like all of them, exist in our Facebook world and our face-to-face world. They just make me feel less entertaining. Man. I hate trying to keep up with the brave and funny ones.

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Breeding Homework Haters?

24 Aug

I’m sure there are not many of us who will say they actually enjoyed doing homework. I’m not saying we didn’t have projects, assignments or subjects that we enjoyed occasionally or more than others. I just think finding many homework lovers would be hard to do.

As of now, Nia is a homework liker. She will work on it as soon as she can after school – even voluntarily doing the extra credit section at the bottom of the page that the teacher didn’t assign. Homework in Second Grade isn’t that time-consuming, extremely complicated (for her anyway – for me, it’s a different story!) or disagreeable. It’s spelling words, math word problems, comprehension and grammar. Nia doesn’t mind it. She does it because she’s supposed to. Because it will help her learn. Because she gets check pluses and smiley faces on her paper. She hasn’t learned to hate it – yet.

I’m afraid the negativity around it may soon start to grow because of a new reward system by her teacher. Apparently, the students are divided up in groups and they get blue strips for things they do well. When they get five, they members of the group get to skip a night of homework.

On the surface, it seems like a good way to encourage good behavior and productivity in the classroom. When I think about it though, I feel it could teach students to consider a night without homework as a good thing. After all, it’s being billed that way.

I told Nia I think it would be a great idea and beneficial to her brain if she does the homework even though she wouldn’t have to. She was actually excited about it, adding, “Maybe we’ll get another reward for me doing that!”

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