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Dreading the Doctor

6 Jun

Tomorrow, I’m taking the kids to the doctor for their well visits.  I’m not only dreading this because they both will be getting shots, but I’m also stressing because I’m taking them back to that same doctor’s office I didn’t like.

Before you get disappointed in me for not changing docs – just know that we don’t have many choices.  Our insurance only covers two others within 20 miles of us and out of all of them the office we go to now offers more doctors and has Saturday hours.  I weighed our options and have decided to give it one more chance.  If tomorrow doesn’t go well then I will do what I have to do – whether it’s try one of the other Winder doctors or drive the kids 30 minutes away.

This time, I’m not so much worried about the wait time (we have an early appointment so logically you wouldn’t think we’d have to wait long).  I just am so afraid that they’re aren’t going to let me hold Nia while she gets her shot.  (With Nate they told me it’s safer for them to administer the shot if he is lying on the table.)  I hated that but then thought it will be ok because he probably wouldn’t remember it.  Nia will.  She’s so afraid and I’ve been trying to tell her exactly how it’s going to be – we even read a few children’s books about doctor’s visits and shots.  I plan to take some stickers, lollipops and toys with us so I will be ready to reward her and Nate for being so brave and also ready to pass the time while we wait. (Remember they don’t have any toys at this office.)  She’s also going to bring one of her stuffed animals for support.  I just wish I had something to help me get through it all too – two kids plus shots equals heartbreak for mom.

Hiding the Grays

19 May

Today I fired a shot at the grays. My hair is now glowing with highlights.

The Enemy is Hiding Within

I actually really like it.  I just better not spot any gray hairs in the mix of color!

Were the Steaks Worth It?

19 May

Boy they were tasty but I certainly could have done without them if I would have known this was going to happen…

What did we do?!?!

We’ve been using charcoal in our old gas grill and for a few months it was working great, then a freak piece of coal escaped.  It fell from the grill on our deck and landed in the pine straw next to the house.  We did not know this happened until Andrew smelled the smoke.  He looked outside and saw the line of pine straw on fire and the side of the house being destroyed.  He grabbed the hose and went to work.  We are SO lucky that it was not worse than this but it still is unsettling.

Fried House

We are now just waiting to get it fixed. The company that originally did the siding work is supposed to send someone out to fix it either tomorrow or Monday.  Can you believe we almost burned down our house?!?!  INSANE!  I can still smell the smoke.  From here on out it’s gas grills for us!

Operation Gray Elimination

15 May

My head full of dark brown hair is being invaded.  I was informed about these enemies in February when the man cutting my hair said, “Oh honey, I’m seeing a few gray in here.”  I remember not really worrying about it then because I thought it was some sort of fluke or something.

No Vacancy for Grays

Then I came home and looked in the mirror and saw the “few grays” he so kindly pointed out for me.  From that day I have spotted too many to count and I have weeded each one out as I see them.  During the elimination, sadly, a few brown hairs have been sacrificed (it’s hard to pull those tiny little gray ones – sometimes I grab an innocent brown bystander on accident – it breaks my heart but I feel it must be done for the good of all the other hairs.)

I’ve even gone so far as to try and pull one out while I was driving.  It was making me crazy and I was determined to hold it between my fingers and let it know who was boss.  “You thought you could just mix in with the others did you?  Ha! You thought wrong!  And if any of your gray buddies are thinking about crossing into the brown hair territory than be warned – I will hunt you down and destroy you!”

So maybe I’m being a little dramatic for this blog’s sake – I really do not issue death threats to my gray hairs – but I did yank it while I was driving (and I did stare at it for a moment with a twisted smile on my face).  I just can’t help it.  One or two would be fine – I can accept that – but the amount I have found is just waking me up to getting older and I just think it’s a little too soon for that.  I think I still have another -oh- 30 or so years until I should have to worry about that!

In the meantime, I am considering getting highlights again but that makes me sad because I was really liking my dark hair.  I guess, no matter how hard I try to defeat the grays, in the end, they are the winners. I still plan to put up a good fight though…

Is it White Russian Time Yet?

9 May

You bet your butt it is!

After several Nia fits that led to me taking toys away from her and putting her in time out, Nate continually hitting me and Nia and thinking it’s funny and the dog who’s acting strange after deciding he wanted to chew up 3 plastic toy golf clubs and devour them – I went for the fridge and cracked open a cold one.  My man really loves me – he bought me the ready-made kind so I don’t even have to stress over mixing up one for myself!

Am I an alcky?  I really don’t believe so, it’s not like I get all shit faced or anything – but I do know that the fridge is fully stocked with my favorites (thanks to Ginger for suggesting Mike-aritas) and just about every day around 4:30 I feel the need to enjoy one.  Especially today…
 

The Tragedy of a Tragedy

21 Apr

I didn’t want to write about this because it’s hard for me to put it all into words. In fact, I just spent way too long trying to come up with an adjective to describe what happened at Virginia Tech.  I thought of horrible and then deleted it – terrible? no – heartbreaking? – scary?  – shocking?  – when you think about it – any word would be too generic and using one makes me feel like I’m writing TV news and that just makes me want to vomit.  I’m just so sickened by how many news organizations are reporting what happened and then adding their thoughts about why it happened.

This is really why I’m writing.  A recent opinion article in our local newspaper really infuriated me this week. It was entitled “What are we teaching our boys?”  The writer used some stats to show that boys are responsible for the majority of extreme violence in U.S. schools over the last 10 years and then went on to say it’s because we’re teaching boys that in order to be masculine they shouldn’t cry. If you’d like to read it, click here.  If you did, please tell me what you thought.

Here’s what I thought – those stats about the attackers may be accurate but what about the percentage of victims who were boys?  They obviously were “taught” right.  Also, you can be the most loving, caring, peaceful parent who ever existed and your son or daughter could still have violent tendencies.  Along those lines, why is it when a woman is the attacker people tend to make excuses for her – she either had something bad happen to her or she’s crazy – but when a boy is to blame it’s because he wasn’t raised right?  I mean, how can she even say that when she really has no freaking clue how any of those boys were raised?  I just feel she totally generalized and it disgusts me that she is paid to have her opinion published.

What makes me even more disgusted and saddened is all of the “expert” opinions and finger-pointing that happens after a tragedy. Isn’t it bad enough that it happened?  Why is it people always have to make it worse by hurting others more?  It’s campus security’s fault – no it’s psychologists’ fault – no it’s the school’s fault – no it’s the parents’ fault – no it’s your fault!  AH!

I’m not pretending to know what anyone involved is going through – I know, for many, finding blame is a way to heal – I guess I just worry about what comes next for the people who thought they did everything they could and now have to live with the judgment and criticism.  Really, what it comes down to is that my heart is hurting for ANYONE who is hurting and I just wish tragedies like this would bring people together – not tear them down.

 

Blah

30 Mar

Warning: The entry you’re about to read contains whining and bitching. If you are not in the mood for misery stop reading here and wait for a new “normal” Nicole entry.

If you are still reading then let me say I warned you.  Since you are still reading you might be wondering why I feel the need to let you all know about the yuck I’m feeling.  I guess it’s because I’m trying to get rid of it and I thought venting about it might help.  We’ll see…

For no known specific reason I’ve been feeling really cranky and down these past two days and it’s not even “that time”.  My typically short temper is even more short and I feel awful because Nia is getting the worst of my mood because she’s been testing me with unusually bratty behavior.  I feel like I’m yelling at her/correcting her all day long and I just want to stop.  Maybe she’s acting so different because she’s cranky too and this is just how it’s coming out in her?  I don’t know about that but I do know that I HATE feeling this way and really wish something could get me out of the funk I’m in.  BLAH.

Just so you know how blah I’m feeling – here’s a short list of things that have really irked me in the last 36 hours – they are things that otherwise don’t bother me:

  • The teen bagger at Publix commenting on my groceries “Oh, salsa, sour cream, chips – someone’s going to have a fiesta tonight!” I mean whatever!  Just bag ’em buddy!  I would really hate to hear what he’d say if I was buying condoms,  ky and  whipped cream!
  • The crapload of pollen that is caked on everything – the pavement, mailbox, porch, cars…
  • Nate not taking his naps.
  • Nia repeating the same thing over and over again or me having to repeat the same thing over and over again to her.
  • Sanjaya still on American Idol – it didn’t bother me Wednesday night when it was announced but by Thursday afternoon I was disgusted.
  • Getting endless “mortgage insurance” forms in the mail even after I’ve sent them back with “No thank you. Please stop sending these” written on them.

What’s even worse is I just don’t know what’s causing this mean face I’m wearing.  Everything’s been going great here – we just had a really nice visit from Andrew’s sister and our adorable baby niece, we have money to pay bills, a roof over our heads, tons of food and Easter treats to pig out on, plus love is everywhere in this house so what the hell do I have to be cranky about?  Maybe I’m not eating enough of the salty junk food or carbs that I love.  I’ve been trying to eat healthier so that may be what it is!  Some drinking might help as well!  That’s it!  I am prescribing myself a bag of chips and a few White Russians!  The next time I write I will be cheerful and drunk!

 

Random Frustration

23 Mar

Why can’t I just do the dishes without ending up with a soaked shirt?  It’s not like I try to dump water on myself.  Still, no matter how hard I try to stay dry, I end up drenched.  Is there some sort of dish-washing secret that could help me keep the water in the sink?  It just drives me nuts!
 

Betrayed by Our Dog

21 Mar

Ok – I know I need to get a grip and forgive and forget already but every time our dog Joey barks now I fill up with disappointment/disgust/disbelief – feelings that are just plain silly to feel for poor old Joe-Boy.

Some Guard Dog

I can’t help it though.  He barks at NOTHING but won’t bark at the criminal jerks who broke into his dad’s car?!?!  He barks at people who are supposed to be/allowed near our house but not at those who are not?  I mean come on!  Part of my frustration is due to the fact that his bark sounds so mean and is so loud – you can hear him several streets over from ours – but it did us zip when we needed it most.

You may think I’m overreacting – maybe I am – but maybe if you had a better idea of what I witness him bark at on any given day – maybe then you could at least somewhat understand why I feel the way I do.  Here’s just a few of the things that he feels the need to let out his heart-stopping, breath-taking bark at:

  • The UPS truck that comes three to four times a week
  • The mail lady every time he sees her white truck driving down our street
  • Nothing
  • The neighborhood dogs
  • Birds flying
  • Someone’s car brakes squeaking blocks away
  • Nothing
  • Andrew when he comes home from work
  • Us when we leave the house
  • The neighbors he sees everyday coming and going from their houses
  • A doorbell/dog/cat on television
  • Nothing

He doesn’t bark at:

  • Things/people he should!

Please don’t get me wrong – I love our dog so very much.  He is a big, soft, cuddly, lovable bear of a pup and he’s super good with the kids.  It really bothers me to feel this way and I know I will get over it soon – for now though I can’t help but curse about him under my breath every time he woofs when he doesn’t need to. Nia even screams at him to be quiet when he barks!  Sometimes I even think horrible things like – someone better be trying to get in the house.  Of course I don’t really mean it – besides he wouldn’t bark at them anyway!

Part of the Fam

Crime Update

21 Mar

Apparently, the thieves decided they didn’t want Andrew’s computer keyboard.  Yesterday, I was looking out of Nia’s window and saw something odd in our neighbor’s yard. (It looked like a purse or something.)  I ran over to check it out and there was the keyboard!

Andrew insists it wasn’t there on Monday – that we would have seen it if it was because we were all outside near the area.  He thinks maybe they came back through Monday night and tossed stuff back or something because our neighbor across the street says he found one of the things he reported stolen in his front yard too.

Odd…

Oh well – it still doesn’t change the fact that it all happened – it’s just a weird twist I guess.