The Santa Charade
22 DecHow far does it go? How did our parents pull it off for as long as they did? This is a hard lie to live.
It’s fairly simple for the first two years of life. Heck, they can be right there as you load up the shopping cart with tons of toys/stuff that “Santa” is supposed to bring them. They just sit there in their car seat buckets drooling or snoozing or, if they’re older, happily playing with that distraction toy/snack you brought with you. They are none the wiser. Then, they become aware. Very. Very. Aware.
Things change big time. You now have to plan how you will divide and conquer the shopping while they are with you in the store. A strategic placement of a coat or purse is necessary. One parent must divert the child’s attention as the other loads up the cart or checks out. Sure, one of you can go by yourself and knock it out easily but sometimes we’re just out together and it’s convenient. Well, sort of.
As if buying these presents that “Santa” is supposedly making with his elves up at the North Pole isn’t deceitful enough, we go and make it even more of a lie.
- “Those are “Santa’s” helpers at the mall. You tell them what you want and then they let “Santa” know.”
- “‘Santa’ is watching you.” (Sure, I guess technically, we are watching but it just doesn’t have the same impact on them if I say “Mommy is watching you.” They’re like so?)
- “Better be good or “Santa” will only bring you a lump of coal.” (Like I’m really going to only give the kids lumps of coal – besides, I don’t even know where to find a lump.)
As I continue this charade, I’ve run into a few questions/quandaries:
- How do you explain to kids why you need to remember those who are less fortunate by getting gifts for them too – why wouldn’t Santa just deliver them gifts too? He seems like a pretty nice guy. I really don’t think he wouldn’t get little Johnny a gift just because his mommy and daddy don’t make that much money.
- Do kids really not notice that some things have price tags on it. Santa’s workshop needs to make a buck too I guess.
- I’m pretty sure Nia would notice that a few of her presents have the Best Buy logo on them. Maybe Santa ran out of that movie he made and needed to swing buy the store to get more?
- You even gotta remember to hide the wrapping paper. Andrew caught that one. He bought some on the sly and hid it so that all the “Santa” delivered gifts would be wrapped in that special paper. The one problem with it is that I really can’t use the leftovers. I know Nia would notice. What would I say then? Oh, Santa left me some extra paper. Right, cause I got connections with Mr. Claus like that.
- I’m pretty sure it’s not a good idea to pretend that you are Santa on the phone. Andrew thought he was doing a good thing. Nate really wanted to tell Santa something so Andrew went outside and I called his cell. He disguised his voice really well – Nate bought it but not Nia. When Andrew walked back into the room, Nia said, “Was that you daddy? It was you with a silly voice.” Andrew and I had to hide our faces and flat out lied. No! Why would daddy do that?
It’s all meant to make cherished memories, right?
Behind the Wheel Wonderland
24 NovMy drive to and from work should stink. It’s 45 miles away and it takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half to make the trip – one way. It’s usually bumper to bumper, gas and brake and then gas and really brake the whole way. Sometimes, I’m just stopped. My car, stuck in the midst of four to six lanes of traffic, backed up for miles.
So, why doesn’t this suck? Part of the reason is because I like heading toward my destinations. I look forward to being at work and I look forward to being with the fam.
The other reason my drive doesn’t stink is magical and involves my CD player, the library and the ability to be taken to another world, while still paying attention to the road. (Although I have missed a few of my turns from time to time.)
In the last month, I’ve listened to five audio books. Right now, The Secret Life of Bees is calling my name and I can’t wait until tomorrow morning when I’ll start my car and the CD will pick up where it left off. I’m not just listening to fiction either. I’ve been educated by Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and some guy telling me about The Millionaire Next Door.
I love my books on CD! My virtual library book bag is growing by the day and I’m shuffling through discs. Even Andrew is putting requests in for books. His all involve the deep stuff – politics, history and opinion. My next one is much lighter – Marley and Me. I’m sure it will make me laugh and cry and look like a total lunatic to the drivers stuck in the horrible traffic with me. Their drive must stink.
We finally did it…
10 NovNate’s crib has been replaced. This bunk bed used to be Andrew’s, Uncle Matthew’s and Uncle Anthony’s and they certainly left their mark on it.
Nate is the fourth Valles boy to call it his own and his seems to love it so far!
We were going to wait and make it a special thing for his third birthday but with him using the potty all the time now, we didn’t want him to have to “go” in his night-time diaper just because he couldn’t get out of his crib. We’ll see how it goes!
My Knight in Starched Khakis
21 OctShe is just a little more than five miles away from her sister’s house when the beyond-bald tires on her beat up, old mini-van decide they couldn’t carry her family anymore. The tires, like her, are worn out. Sharing the load of moving from Michigan to Georgia – they both have been pushed to their limits.
“Now this? Now this is going to happen?” she thinks as she looks for a safe place to pull over. The tire blew out a few seconds ago but she tries to keep pressing on – like she’s been doing since they first started struggling.
Her four young children are both frightened and interested in what’s happening. Two started to cry. The other two ask non-stop questions. She feels the same way – plus – helpless. She doesn’t know how to change a tire – she can’t afford a tow truck – isn’t a member of AAA.
Then, she hears a voice, offering to help.
Within minutes, he has her van up on the jack and the tire off but he can’t get the spare out of the trunk. He thinks about giving her his but it doesn’t fit. Instead, he calls AAA and explains the situation.
The children would have to wait almost an hour. When he offers to drive her and the children to her sister’s house so they don’t have to be the situation any longer, she was a little nervous to accept but he didn’t give her any reason to doubt his kindness, plus, he had two child car seats in the back – he must be ok.
She’s so overcome with gratitude and emotion that she can’t believe that she told him, “Of course you’re married! All the good ones are taken!”
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He thinks he’s just stuck behind yet another driver going way below the speed limit on the two lane road to his work. He feels bad when he sees the old mini-van cautiously pull over to the side.
He knows he has to be at work, but something in him compels him to make sure people are ok.
Little does he know, this is going to be so much more than a tire change. When he sees the four children, he immediately thinks of his own wife and kids and – what if. What if they were stranded on the side of a busy road with no one to call for help? He has to do what he can to get them out of this situation.
He doesn’t think it’s going to be hard to do. He just has to change a tire -something he’s done more times than he can remember. But this time is a little different. The van’s emergency brake doesn’t work and (for mechanical reasons the writer doesn’t grasp) the mom has to stay in the van with her foot on the brake. He finally gets the van on the jack but then he can’t free the spare from its compartment.
Knowing he can’t leave them like that, he calls AAA for a tow truck. They tell him he will have to be there when the driver arrives in order for her to get the tow without a charge. He knows it will take about an hour for the tow truck driver to show up so he offers to drive the family where they are headed. He worries about how the four children will safely fit in his small backseat but rationalizes it would be more dangerous for them to be where they are now.
In the end, the family safely reaches their destination and the Knight in Starched (and now slightly dirty) Khakis makes it to work. He knows the family still has to figure out how they will pay for the van’s repairs, but he hopes that he helped take a little of the burden off their shoulders – at least for one morning.
Poor Pooch
14 OctPoor Joe-Boy. He went through the shaving, the surgery and now we wait for the healing, hoping it makes him feel all better.
As for the surgery, he now has a metal plate and several screws in his left knee – a fix that many retriever and sporting dogs undergo. His rehab consists of being confined to the downstairs bathroom which, luckily, is one of his favorite places to lounge in the house. He has pills he needs to take pain and inflammation and we have to walk him on a leash for his potty time because he’s not supposed to run or overuse his leg yet. This will last for the next eight weeks.
We are just really hoping that he won’t have to have surgery on his other leg. The vets say that it usually happens that way. Dogs will have one leg’s ligament repaired and then a few months later, the other one tears. We would just feel so awful for our buddy. He’s such a good dog and we hate to see him hurting or not himself. All he wants to do is run and play. Our 8-year-old puppy.
(To spare some of you from the more graphic scar picture, I didn’t post it on the this blog. If, however, you want to see his boo-boo, click here.)









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