Archive | Opinions RSS feed for this section

Not About Me

29 Apr

I’m thankful for Facebook tonight because it helped me wake up to my selfishness. Because of it, I was able to see some friends sharing in the royal wedding with their daughter, who’s a little older than Nia. They made a special British-inspired breakfast and wore crowns. They all looked so happy at 5ish in the morning and I loved how they were making it such a treasured memory for their daughter.

Nia, meanwhile, was still asleep because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I wasn’t all that excited for it and my take-it-or-leave-it attitude almost caused Nia to miss the chance to see history happen, learn about another country or at least oo and ah at Kate’s dress. I have memories of Diana and Prince Charles’ wedding. Seems a royal wedding of this caliber only happens once every few decades. She shouldn’t miss that.

I went in her room and asked her in a whisper if she wanted to see the wedding of a real-life prince and princess. She nodded yes and I scooped my princess out of her bed and carried her to our bed, where she squinted and blinked to adjust her sleepy eyes to the bright screen. She was happy.

I’m glad I woke up to the realization that my opinions (about things of this nature) should not influence Nia’s chance to make hers.

(Sheila and Jesse, thank you for helping me see, in a very indirect way, that it’s not always about me. You are way cool parents.)

Posted from WordPress for Android

Tags: , , , ,

Where I’m Coming From

26 Mar

I have a lot of time for deep thoughts and imagination adventures during my usual two hours (plus) a day in the car driving to work and home. I think about the people I see carpooling. Do they like each other? Do they talk or listen to music? Maybe he has a crush on the girl passenger.

Often, I spend it creating what-if scenarios in my head. Here are just a few of them:

  • What if a person driving an Obama bumper sticker-covered car and a person driving a McCain/Palin bumper sticker-covered car crashed? Would they be less forgiving? Would they immediately jump to insults? Stereotypical thought? Would it matter?
  • What if I was standing in line with these people I’m in traffic with? Would I yell at them to move when the line moved up like people honk their horns when the light turns green? Or would that guy cutting everyone off, zigzagging through traffic, do that face-to-face?
  • What if they could know that I didn’t get around them only because they were driving too slow but more because I don’t like to be behind vehicles that are larger than mine? Would they be less likely to flip me the bird?

I also like to think about how we don’t know where anyone is coming from or where they’re going. They may be speeding by you because a family member is sick. That slow driver may have been on the road for an hour longer than you after a trying day. Maybe they just heard sad news. Maybe they don’t have anywhere to be. No hurry for them. Maybe they’re late for a special event. Not trying to be jerks or idiots like many (me too) often throw out at them, they just are traveling on the road they have before them. Like everyone around them.

Posted from WordPress for Android

The Weight of Birthdays

22 Mar

I’m calling for a shake up with how we celebrate birthdays. Be gone, “Eh, it’s just another day,” attitudes that many acquire in our older years. (I’m guilty.) I think it’s then that we should go all out like we did when we were young. Not necessarily stay up all night slumber parties, New Kids on the Block cakes or jumpy place parties but just more pronounced attention then many allow. It seems, as our numbers grow, the size and importance we put on our born day shrinks. Life gets in the way of life.

Shouldn’t we be rejoicing that our number is able to grow? That we are still here to celebrate the rotation of another year? Feel incredible to be given more precious days to enjoy and accomplish? Some people have battled cancer and won. Some have battled in war zones. Others have been through incomprehensible life journeys. And they are still here to experience another day while so many others are not. Why don’t we live for them?

I know it’s hard because who really likes getting older? We cling to our youth. Our energy. Our young skin and bones. The ability to sit cross-cross-applesauce. I pluck and cover my grays and sample that magic-promising anti-aging cream. But shouldn’t I be cherishing that I’m here to laugh at my aging pieces? Or that we have 35, 39, 43, 47, 54 and more tucked away in the shadow boxes of our memories?

Andrew remarked that he hasn’t had this many presents (for his 35th) since he was 12.  I hope it stays that way with each year because I know how very grateful I am to celebrate it with him. So very thankful we get to cycle through one more year of enjoying the smaller numbers and welcoming what’s next. Life.

 

Birthday Banana Pudding

Posted from WordPress for Android

Tags:

Bookworm Bean

27 Feb

Nia has always loved books. She was entertainingly reading to us by memorization at age 3 and often carries books with her wherever she goes. But it wasn’t until the other day that she began talking about what she’d read in a book with such excitement and detail.

She didn’t just say it was really good or funny. She started to give us a “response to literature” – something she’s learning in school. She was so into it and full of animation when describing it to us. It was adorably awesome and gave us the idea to have her review them on video. (Partly as a learning experience but also because I wanted to capture this part of her life.)

She was so pumped about the idea of Bean Book Review and couldn’t wait to start. Who knows? Maybe it could even help someone who’s thinking about buying a book for a child. I mean, she relates things to iCarly so it’s a pretty expert opinion, if you ask me.

She had so much fun doing this and sitting next to me as I tried to edit it. She was such a little producer too. Telling me that I need to add music and that her eyes were closed on one starting clip. She and I had a great time! I find some parts of it so endearing. Like, the popcorn she tries to free from a tooth while talking and her reenactment of a snippet of one book. I hope some others enjoy it as much as we do. (It’s five minutes long so we’ll see!)

Tags: ,

You Look Like a Mom

23 Feb

I remember when I first heard that. I was 28 years old. I was, in fact, a mother. Of two. I remember that I didn’t know how to take it. In that moment, it felt like an insult. Thinking, “What does that even mean?” I was at a bar, with my husband, thinking I look pretty nice in my black sweater and jeans. Now, I wish I could go back and react to it differently. How could that be an insult? I look like a mom. Without hesitation, I should have taken it as a compliment. It’s who I am.

I find it interesting how much I realize that even when I’m not with my kids. When I am by myself, I feel like I’m missing a piece of me. I don’t remember what the me in me was like before Nia and Nate. When they’re with me, I feel like I can do anything. I feel strong. Protective. Smart. Beautiful. When they are not with me, I feel insecure. Small. Even if it’s just going to the store by myself. I need my shopping buddy, Nia. Sure, I can function without her and not have a meltdown but – it’s just – I feel her absence and I notice the difference in me.

I’ve figured out that it helps if I remember that I “look like a mom” even when they aren’t with me. That proud and heartfelt feeling is invigorating. Best. Compliment. Ever.

You're so mom.

Related posts:

Tags: ,

I Fell in Love with Friday Night Lights

10 Feb

And now, I only have my memories, repeats and DVDs to cherish.

We watched the last episode of Friday Night Lights tonight and I laughed – I wanted to be included in the conversation – I sat jaw-dropped – I felt the reality – I praised the beautifully shot scenes and I cried –  just like I do while becoming absorbed in every episode.

Was it a perfect show during its five seasons? The best? (This critic says it’s one of the “finest drama series in television history.”) I’m not sure I can really label any tv show that way. I just know how it made me feel. It hooked me from the start and never let me down. It captured bits of life that I have never seen on another show. One scene I vividly remember showed Coach and Tami hugging in their room and then they started swaying/dancing and the camera quickly showed us their feet. She had been standing on his. I loved that. They captured something so real and the characters never drew attention to it. They just swayed and talked. It was precious to me.

I’m almost kind of proud that many people didn’t love the show like I did because it makes it more heartfelt for me. I loved something not because everyone else did – but because I did. I’m happy, though, for those who did give it a chance and kept it alive. (Thanks, DirecTV!)  I called the characters by their last names like they did to each other and I’m not ashamed that I actually thought about the lines the writers had Coach Taylor say. (A recent one about building character will stay with me.) I don’t think you have to like football to appreciate this show. The characters, writing, shots and directing take it well beyond a show about football. (Although, there is a lot of football in it!)

Dillon, Texas. It was a pleasure to visit that small town and root for (or sometimes curse out) its people in every episode. I will miss it.

“Clear eyes, full hearts …”

Tags: , , ,

Happy Holiday?

17 Jan

I’m sure I’m just over-analyzing like I tend to do but I find it inappropriate to say “Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day” or “Happy Memorial Day.” I just consider them special days of reflection and tribute (not so much happiness) because they are days associated with the loss of incredible individuals.

Am I being too critical? Is there a happiness in that the men and women we honor on those days were born and so we’re thankful for that? I can see it that way, I suppose. I just feel uncomfortable when people say “Happy day!” like it’s a party or when stores offer sales associated with the days.

I guess we all reflect in our own way. As long as we take the time to remember, learn and teach our children, right?

Posted from WordPress for Android

Tags: ,

For Sale By Barbie

6 Dec

It sounds like something out of a real estate ad, only way more glamorous and uninhabitable by humans.

This is how the features for Mattel’s  Barbie Dream Townhouse are listed on target.com:

  • 3 stories of fabulous include a pink personal elevator and lights and sounds on every level
  • Enter through the front door to a warm and glowing light-up chandelier, a dining area and a fully stocked kitchen
  • Entertain in the second level living room with a roaring fireplace and a popup flat screen TV, plus an ultra-luxurious Barbie signature bathroom
  • The third floor boasts a posh bedroom suite with canopy bed and a balcony with charming light-up tiki lights and an outdoor whirlpool tub
  • Sounds include a doorbell, a kitchen timer, a crackling fireplace, a shower humming and a flushing toilet

And if that wasn’t convincing enough, toysrus.com offered more descriptive details, broken up room by room.

Sold. And it didn’t even cost me a 30-year mortgage. I had a promo code.

image

Tags: , ,

Sexperiment Dropout

2 Dec

Well, I took a brisk walk on the manly product side as part of my silly Sexperiment and that’s all I needed to send me running for the temptation of soft skin and sweet smell.

Some differences I noticed during my three days (besides the scent) involved the shampoo and soap. The shampoo dried out my hair and painfully tangled it and the soap dried out my skin to the point of cracks. I’m sure the cold weather didn’t help but at least I get some protection with my moisturizing soap.

I also really did miss my sweet scented products. People could probably smell my perfume before they saw me today because I enjoyed an extra spray or two. Sorry about that. I was lost in the moment.

There are two things I’m going to change after doing this mini-sexperiment though. I will be upgrading my razor and will be buying Andrew some conditioner or at least a two-in-one. That shampoo is brutal, even for man hair.

Posted from WordPress for Android

Tags: , , ,

My Sexperiment Has Started

29 Nov

I got my first dose of man products today as part of the Sexperiment I wrote about a week ago. It was not as bad as I expected. The thing I missed most was wearing my pink colored and sweet smelling perfume. My two favorites are Pink by Victoria’s Secret and Princess by Vera Wang. I was so tempted to spritz one on this morning. I may have to move them out of sight for the rest of the week. They’re just so inviting.

I am also a little concerned about my sensitive parts yelling at me for using products that don’t have the promise of softness or smoothness. My hands are dry today but that may be because of the weather, not the man-care.

Here’s what I used:

image

I must say I do love the razor. It has a bunch of blades and vibrates. Do they make that for girls? I only ever use my two-blade, inexpensive Daisy razors so I haven’t lived the life of razor luxury. If not, I may stick with Andrew’s Mach 3. I’m sure he’ll go halfsies with me on the cartridges. I figure, I’m already stealing his stuff. Right, hon?

Posted from WordPress for Android

Tags: , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →