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The Santa Charade

22 Dec

How far does it go?  How did our parents pull it off for as long as they did?  This is a hard lie to live.

It’s fairly simple for the first two years of life.  Heck, they can be right there as you load up the shopping cart with tons of toys/stuff that “Santa” is supposed to bring them.  They just sit there in their car seat buckets drooling or snoozing or, if they’re older, happily playing with that distraction toy/snack you brought with you.  They are none the wiser.  Then, they become aware.  Very.  Very. Aware.

Things change big time.  You now have to plan how you will divide and conquer the shopping while they are with you in the store.  A strategic placement of a coat or purse is necessary.  One parent must divert the child’s attention as the other loads up the cart or checks out.  Sure, one of you can go by yourself and knock it out easily but sometimes we’re just out together and it’s convenient. Well, sort of.

As if buying these presents that “Santa” is supposedly making with his elves up at the North Pole isn’t deceitful enough, we go and make it even more of a lie.

  • “Those are “Santa’s” helpers at the mall.  You tell them what you want and then they let “Santa” know.”
  • “‘Santa’ is watching you.”  (Sure, I guess technically, we are watching but it just doesn’t have the same impact on them if I say “Mommy is watching you.”  They’re like so?)
  • “Better be good or “Santa” will only bring you a lump of coal.”  (Like I’m really going to only give the kids lumps of coal – besides, I don’t even know where to find a lump.)

As I continue this charade, I’ve run into a few questions/quandaries:

  • How do you explain to kids why you need to remember those who are less fortunate by getting gifts for them too – why wouldn’t Santa just deliver them gifts too?  He seems like a pretty nice guy.  I really don’t think he wouldn’t get little Johnny a gift just because his mommy and daddy don’t make that much money.
  • Do kids really not notice that some things have price tags on it.  Santa’s workshop needs to make a buck too I guess.
  • I’m pretty sure Nia would notice that a few of her presents have the Best Buy logo on them.  Maybe Santa ran out of that movie he made and needed to swing buy the store to get more?
  • You even gotta remember to hide the wrapping paper.  Andrew caught that one.  He bought some on the sly and hid it so that all the “Santa” delivered gifts would be wrapped in that special paper.  The one problem with it is that I really can’t use the leftovers.  I know Nia would notice.  What would I say then?  Oh, Santa left me some extra paper.  Right, cause I got connections with Mr. Claus like that.
  • I’m pretty sure it’s not a good idea to pretend that you are Santa on the phone.  Andrew thought he was doing a good thing.  Nate really wanted to tell Santa something so Andrew went outside and I called his cell.  He disguised his voice really well – Nate bought it but not Nia.  When Andrew walked back into the room, Nia said, “Was that you daddy?  It was you with a silly voice.”  Andrew and I had to hide our faces and flat out lied.  No!  Why would daddy do that?

It’s all meant to make cherished memories, right?

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We finally did it…

10 Nov

Nate’s crib has been replaced.  This bunk bed used to be Andrew’s, Uncle Matthew’s and Uncle Anthony’s and they certainly left their mark on it.

Nate's Big Boy Bed

Nate is the fourth Valles boy to call it his own and his seems to love it so far!

First Nap in the B.B.B.

We were going to wait and make it a special thing for his third birthday but with him using the potty all the time now, we didn’t want him to have to “go” in his night-time diaper just because he couldn’t get out of his crib.  We’ll see how it goes!

Comfy

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What I’ve Learned So Far

10 Sep

Wednesday marks my first full week back on the job and so far I’ve noticed a few things:

  • No matter how early I wake up, I still can’t leave on time.
  • Radio personalities and their opinions/statements/conversations annoy the hell out of me.
  • I really, really like coffee.
  • I’m so lucky to have Andrew as my “baby daddy.”  Because I have to leave before the kids wake up, he takes care of everything each morning.  Not only does he get himself ready, but then he wakes them up, makes their breakfasts, gets them ready, makes Nia’s lunch, fixes Nia’s hair in the cutest (and tightest) little pony tail, scoots her out the door while loading Nate in his car seat, watches her board the bus, takes Nate to school and then has to deal with Nate being kind of sad to see him go.  He also makes it all seem like no big deal.  He’s my favorite.
  • I must find a shoes that don’t murder my feet (but still look cute).
  • Nate has already learned so much, including using the potty more and more.
  • I am loving to use my brain again, both socially and creatively.
  • I am quickly running out of outfits.
  • I still need my mommy.  After 15 minutes, I still couldn’t safety pin my low cut shirt without having the pin slightly visible.
  • I have to invest in stronger deodorant until I learn to be less nervous.  It’s not that I schtank or anything, it’s that I have a giant problem with giant pit marks.  Not fun to try and hide all day long.
  • Antibacterial cleaning wipes are your friend.  (My computer really needs a wipe down.)
  • Eating out is lots of fun and tasty but I miss being able to save that money and calories!
  • It doesn’t matter what time I leave from home or work, I’m still going to hit multiple rows of bumper to bumper traffic on Interstate 85.
  • Now that I am falling asleep earlier and earlier, I need to become more picky in our television show selection.
  • Andrew has shown me yet another way he’s a keeper.  He irons all my work clothes!  (I feel so spoiled!)
  • I’m having a blast!

 

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Andrew’s So Proud

30 Aug

Nate to me while in line at the grocery store – “Look Momma Look!  Fish Boon!”

Me responding to Nate – “No honey, that’s a shark balloon.”

Cashier to me – “Uh, that’s a dolphin.”

Me, trying to spell a word while trying to tell a story at the same time – “W-h-i-t.”

Andrew’s response, filled with sarcasm – “W-h-i-t?”

Me, not getting the sarcasm – “Yeah.”

Andrew’s response minus the sarcasm and filled with concern – “W-H-I-T?”

Me, finally realizing my brain fart – “Oh!  You know I know how to spell white!”

Me, trying to teach Nia that she lives in the United States of America – “It’s like when you say the Pledge.  ‘I pledge allegiance to the United States of America.'”

Andrew, half smiling in mockery – “‘… to the flag.'”

Me – “Yeah, ‘I pledge allegiance to the United States of America.'”

Andrew, more emphatically – “… ‘TO THE FLAG.'”

Me, understanding my terrible teaching – “Oh!  Right!  ‘I pledge allegiance to the FLAG of the United States of America.'”

Meanwhile, Nia is looking at me like “Geez Mom!”

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Things Not to Say to a Mom Who’s Going back to Work

30 Aug

The following comments all come with a hint of snootiness from Stay-At-Home Moms I’ve come to know around town.  They make it pretty clear that I’m no longer in their “club.”

“Oh, you’re putting the kids in child care?”

“I guess you just have to do what you have to do.”

“That drive is awful.  I hated it and my kids were always so exhausted when I picked them up from day care.”

“You’re thinking about that day care?  I’ve heard some unsettling things about that day care.” (FYI – We didn’t pick that day care.)

“My daughter didn’t like that After-School program.”

“You are going to hate it when it rains.  The drive is even worse when it rains.”

“You’re going to leave for work that early?”

“You’re going to get killed on gas prices.”

“Well, if you say it’s worth it.”

“You have to drive how far every day?”

“Wow.  That’s going to be a really long day for your kids.”

“I’m sure you are going to miss all that quality time you get to spend with Nate.”

As if I didn’t feel bad/guilty/unsure enough about going back to work. Thanks for pointing out the obvious and for the support.  It would be different if they said what they said because they were genuinely concerned.  They aren’t.  They say it as they look down their nose at me.  I try to tell myself that they would do the same thing if they were in our position and given this opportunity.  Of course, I’m sure they would disagree.

 

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The Best Lunch Date

27 Aug
  • A stroll through the mall – window shopping and checking out cool stuff.
  • An order of Bourbon Chicken with Fried Rice and Broccoli.
  • A spoon and a fork and a shared Styrofoam container.
  • He and I sitting side by side, allowing me to sneak smooches and help him cut his broccoli trees.
  • A hug around the neck as I carried him to his bed for a nap.  (He made it even better by saying “Momma” with such love as he wrapped his little arms around and squeezed.)

I feel so lucky Nate and I shared such a nice day together.  It made me worry that I didn’t make the right decision about going back to work but then I remembered we’ll still have our evenings and weekends to enjoy. I know he’s going to love his “school” and I think it’s really going to help him in a lot of ways. I’m just glad I have this memory to keep and to cherish and am so thankful for our little man.

 

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Potty Monster

21 Aug

It seems we’ve created a Potty Monster.  It’s kind of hard to complain about it though since we’ve been working on potty training off and on for some time now and we should be so excited something we’ve done finally seems to be working. It just seems our latest method of training may be working too well.

He wants to go all the time now.  ALL the time.  Even when he doesn’t have to.  Even when he just went.  All because we gave him a sweet treat after each potty trip.

That’s all he wants now.  “More cookie?  Go potty?  Get cookie!”

We try to explain to him that he just went potty and he doesn’t have to “go” but all that does is make him hysterical. He used to cry when we tried to get him to use the potty, now he cries when he tell him to wait.  It really has us confused about what to do.  If we tell him no then we’re essentially discouraging him to want to use the potty but if we tell him ok then we’re stuffing him with junk all day!

Today, we checked out a book about potty training from the library and I’m searching the net for other techniques.  I hate to change this one mid-method through though because it does seem to be working.  We just have to reduce the size of the sweet.  Something like an M&M or a fruit snack maybe.  I just don’t want to p-off the Potty Monster!
 

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More Time to Mull it Over

11 Aug

It seems we have a little more time to consider the offer from Overland Contracting.  Apparently, the president of the company is on vacation this week and the recruiter told Andrew the others involved are working on it.  Right now, we wait until the recruiter calls us back and tells us we have to decide.  I think we’re leaning toward taking it but aren’t 100% on that.  We just have to be realistic.  Good jobs are hard to come by these days and it’s a great opportunity for him experience-wise.

As for me and my job search, I have an interview tomorrow with Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta but I still haven’t heard back from any of the other companies.  The library people told me it would be two weeks before they made a decision and they would let me know either way so at least I’ll know where I stand one way or the other. The University of Georgia one said they’ll “be in touch” but they just stopped taking job applications on Friday so I’m giving them a few more days to “be in touch.”  The public schools one isn’t for me.  They want someone who will work nights and that just isn’t a mom-friendly shift.

I’m really excited for my interview tomorrow though.  Of all of the jobs, it’s the one I think I’d enjoy the most.  That’s probably why I’m so nervous.  That and the fact that it’s a three hour interview with an hour set aside for a writing test.  If they wanted me to write a blog about my kids for it I’m sure I’d do fine, but they actually want me to be all professional and knowledgeable and grammatically correct.

That’s funny.
 

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The Key to Conquering the Commode?

23 Jul

Right now, Thomas the Tank Engine underpants are taking a tumble in our washing machine.  After that, they’ll be dried and given to a 2 and a half year old boy who has yet to master the whole peeing and pooing in the potty business.  I’m hoping that Nate will be so in love with the drawers that he won’t want to defile them.  I already know he loves them because the very moment he saw them he wanted to rip them out of the package and put them on.  I told him, “No, Mommy has to wash them first.”  He took them to the bathroom sink, tossed them in and said, “Mommy wash.”

Here’s to Thomas!
 

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“Mommy, I love the dentist.”

18 Jun

How unbelievable is that?  I’m still in shock that those words came out of Nia’s professionally cleaned mouth. I’m just so amazed about how awesome she was on her first trip to the dentist.  She just hopped right up in the chair, laid back and watched some “Sesame Street” while the hygienist poked her tiny little teeth with those pointy silver tools.  I mean, those tools are pretty scary looking to me, but Nia was like, “Whatever, I’m watching Elmo.”

It made me wonder if she will forever associate “Sesame Street” with the dentist like I will forever associate Pierogies with “The Neverending Story.”  I was watching the Rockbiter eat rocks during the first time I ever tried Pierogies and I thought, “I wonder if rocks taste like this?”  I still think about that memory every time we pig out on Pierogies.  Maybe Nia will always think about Ernie chillin’ in his tub singing “Rubber Ducky” when she thinks about going to the dentist.  That’s a heck of a lot better than remembering the way the toothpaste tastes or how awkward it is to have the x-rays taken. Man, I wish they had televisions in there when we were kids.

 

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